And so it ends
I've been home since late Friday night, feeling vaguely disoriented or lost like I used to when I got home from camp. It doesn't help that the end of finals was an absolute whirlwind, featuring 3- and 4-hour blocks of sleep at night just like fall training and First Days at the beginning of the year, plus running WOOLF leader training workshops and packing all in one night. I'm not sure I'd recommend my schedule to anyone. Then I spent a fun few days in the woods training said leaders, which was a fun culminating gesture.
This whole WOOLF leader training has forced me to confront the strange fact that I am turning into one of those elusive seniors who has transcended positions of power (like JA, etc) and exists in that nether world beyond. Much of this was triggered by how these soon-to-be-sophomore leaders viewed me -- how they didn't know I was once merely a sophomore WOOLF leader and Frosh Revue director, how they had trouble imagining that Sam and I met on our own training trip and weren't always "platonic life co's," as we've started calling each other.
This year has been a difficult one, and at this point I'm ready for my own time and then a year spent just with friends and school work. But this year has been incredibly unique, which is part of the reason why it's been so difficult. There were so many things to adjust to, learn and understand. The same things that were really hard, though, are also of course the things that are hard to let go of simply because they're unique to this year. When I asked Sam what song reminded him most of this year (I was making my annual photo slideshow), he named one of the songs we always rock out to while running errands like going to Stop and Shop. It's those routines I'll miss. I anticipate that this process of decompression is going to be almost as hard as the year itself was at times.
It's hard to know what to make of this year. Knowing me, I'd do it all over again if given the option. But I've been talking with others JAs about the ways in which it's forced me to mature quite a bit (not a bad thing) and also how it's going to be a strange transition into senior year. In the mean time, though, I'll continue to overanalyze things as I get my life in order for a few weeks in Montana.
This whole WOOLF leader training has forced me to confront the strange fact that I am turning into one of those elusive seniors who has transcended positions of power (like JA, etc) and exists in that nether world beyond. Much of this was triggered by how these soon-to-be-sophomore leaders viewed me -- how they didn't know I was once merely a sophomore WOOLF leader and Frosh Revue director, how they had trouble imagining that Sam and I met on our own training trip and weren't always "platonic life co's," as we've started calling each other.
This year has been a difficult one, and at this point I'm ready for my own time and then a year spent just with friends and school work. But this year has been incredibly unique, which is part of the reason why it's been so difficult. There were so many things to adjust to, learn and understand. The same things that were really hard, though, are also of course the things that are hard to let go of simply because they're unique to this year. When I asked Sam what song reminded him most of this year (I was making my annual photo slideshow), he named one of the songs we always rock out to while running errands like going to Stop and Shop. It's those routines I'll miss. I anticipate that this process of decompression is going to be almost as hard as the year itself was at times.
It's hard to know what to make of this year. Knowing me, I'd do it all over again if given the option. But I've been talking with others JAs about the ways in which it's forced me to mature quite a bit (not a bad thing) and also how it's going to be a strange transition into senior year. In the mean time, though, I'll continue to overanalyze things as I get my life in order for a few weeks in Montana.