Change, personally.
My life is in need of change.
I am stagnating in the same channels waiting for someone to come save me or only looking at the small things. THIS week, THIS day, THIS paycheck.
It needs to end.
To that end I need to go to school. I need wisdom and guidance and no one is here to help.
I can't trust my family to give me advice. They can't see me for who I am.
My passion is escape. Where is my Bliss located?
My tarot card reading from Facade.com was a starting point.
"The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. (Judgement): A swift and conclusive decision. The resolution of a matter long unanswered. A change in point of view, most frequently towards greater enlightenment. Final balancing of karma"
The choice, finally that I can not get anywhere without going back to school.
"The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit.(Queen of Swords): The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances."
Myself. I stand in my own way. My fears of both failure and success stand firmly in my path. awesome.
"The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities.(Death), when reversed: Stagnation or petrifaction. The refusal to let go of the past. Resistance to change because of fear."
More of the same. Stagnation. This is the best I can do without change. Live in my clausriphobic little apartment and move from one crap ass retail job to the next. Time for change. Psychic death awaits. I will avoid her.
"The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Le Soleil (The Sun): A time of contentment and freedom from restraints. Creative inspiration. Achievement, success, and warmth. Light and love in personal or business matters. Happiness and faithfulness in a relationship."
The Good Life. Happiness and faithfulness. Light and Love. My motivations are pure.
"The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Six of Cups (Pleasure): Opening your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Fond memories fuel the playful embrace of love and life. Experiencing the joy of youth and sexual innocence. Engaging in acts of gentle kindness. Harmony of natural forces without effort or strain. Meeting an old friend."
I must not be distracted by live-in-in-the-moment joyfulness. I can not be distracted by "doing good" It's a mizvah but it will make me lazy and complacent.
"The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Three of Cups (Abundance): A time of merriment and reflection spent in the company of friends and loved ones. The conclusion of a matter in plenty and perfection. The strength of a diverse community being brought together. May suggest a celebration, festival, anniversary, wedding, baby shower, or other joyous gathering."
Something is going to happen that will be a leading influence rather then a distraction. I should be cautious not the throw the baby out with the bathwater.
"The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Four of Batons (Completion): A chance to rest and rejoice, having successfully resolved a matter of great import. The initial success of a business venture or creative project. The blossoming of a friendship or romantic relationship. Conclusions drawn based on hard won experience. Spiritual, material, or emotional rewards for diligent effort. May suggest marriage, childbirth, or a victory celebration."
I will have, upon graduation finally finished what I have started for the first time ever. This card shows me that it is worth it. That this time I will succeed.
"The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Five of Cups (Disappointment), when reversed: Accepting a loss. Overcoming sadness and grief to get on with your life. Realizing the value of what you still have. Dissatisfaction gives way to a new hope and understanding. May allude to a broken relationship or tragedy. May also refer to a gift, inheritance, opportunity, partnership, or marriage that has fallen below expectations."
My confidance has taken a big blow. My grief at being fired, at being asked to resign, at being rejected from several jobs that i really wanted has wounded me to the core.
I feel like I am worthless and pathetic. It's a hard starting point but there is nowhere to go but up...right? sigh.
"The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Two of Coins (Change): Balance and harmony achieved in a time of upheaval and transformation. Taking two steps forward for every one step back. Shifting the importance of projects and priorities to keep everything on track. A change in occupation or location."
Duh.
"The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Ten of Coins (Wealth): Completion of material prosperity and riches. Freedom from financial anxiety, the security of home, and the enjoyment of family. The passing of inheritance along to children, or the gaining of inheritance from parents."
If only I change completely, find a field of study I can live with and make money with and earn the respect I have been lacking lately.
No small order.
Who can show me the wisdom to discern what will be the right path? Only I can. WHen I am petrified with fear who will be there to help me.
Hashim.
Shalom.
I am stagnating in the same channels waiting for someone to come save me or only looking at the small things. THIS week, THIS day, THIS paycheck.
It needs to end.
To that end I need to go to school. I need wisdom and guidance and no one is here to help.
I can't trust my family to give me advice. They can't see me for who I am.
My passion is escape. Where is my Bliss located?
My tarot card reading from Facade.com was a starting point.
"The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. (Judgement): A swift and conclusive decision. The resolution of a matter long unanswered. A change in point of view, most frequently towards greater enlightenment. Final balancing of karma"
The choice, finally that I can not get anywhere without going back to school.
"The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit.(Queen of Swords): The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances."
Myself. I stand in my own way. My fears of both failure and success stand firmly in my path. awesome.
"The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities.(Death), when reversed: Stagnation or petrifaction. The refusal to let go of the past. Resistance to change because of fear."
More of the same. Stagnation. This is the best I can do without change. Live in my clausriphobic little apartment and move from one crap ass retail job to the next. Time for change. Psychic death awaits. I will avoid her.
"The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Le Soleil (The Sun): A time of contentment and freedom from restraints. Creative inspiration. Achievement, success, and warmth. Light and love in personal or business matters. Happiness and faithfulness in a relationship."
The Good Life. Happiness and faithfulness. Light and Love. My motivations are pure.
"The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Six of Cups (Pleasure): Opening your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Fond memories fuel the playful embrace of love and life. Experiencing the joy of youth and sexual innocence. Engaging in acts of gentle kindness. Harmony of natural forces without effort or strain. Meeting an old friend."
I must not be distracted by live-in-in-the-moment joyfulness. I can not be distracted by "doing good" It's a mizvah but it will make me lazy and complacent.
"The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Three of Cups (Abundance): A time of merriment and reflection spent in the company of friends and loved ones. The conclusion of a matter in plenty and perfection. The strength of a diverse community being brought together. May suggest a celebration, festival, anniversary, wedding, baby shower, or other joyous gathering."
Something is going to happen that will be a leading influence rather then a distraction. I should be cautious not the throw the baby out with the bathwater.
"The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Four of Batons (Completion): A chance to rest and rejoice, having successfully resolved a matter of great import. The initial success of a business venture or creative project. The blossoming of a friendship or romantic relationship. Conclusions drawn based on hard won experience. Spiritual, material, or emotional rewards for diligent effort. May suggest marriage, childbirth, or a victory celebration."
I will have, upon graduation finally finished what I have started for the first time ever. This card shows me that it is worth it. That this time I will succeed.
"The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Five of Cups (Disappointment), when reversed: Accepting a loss. Overcoming sadness and grief to get on with your life. Realizing the value of what you still have. Dissatisfaction gives way to a new hope and understanding. May allude to a broken relationship or tragedy. May also refer to a gift, inheritance, opportunity, partnership, or marriage that has fallen below expectations."
My confidance has taken a big blow. My grief at being fired, at being asked to resign, at being rejected from several jobs that i really wanted has wounded me to the core.
I feel like I am worthless and pathetic. It's a hard starting point but there is nowhere to go but up...right? sigh.
"The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Two of Coins (Change): Balance and harmony achieved in a time of upheaval and transformation. Taking two steps forward for every one step back. Shifting the importance of projects and priorities to keep everything on track. A change in occupation or location."
Duh.
"The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Ten of Coins (Wealth): Completion of material prosperity and riches. Freedom from financial anxiety, the security of home, and the enjoyment of family. The passing of inheritance along to children, or the gaining of inheritance from parents."
If only I change completely, find a field of study I can live with and make money with and earn the respect I have been lacking lately.
No small order.
Who can show me the wisdom to discern what will be the right path? Only I can. WHen I am petrified with fear who will be there to help me.
Hashim.
Shalom.