"interests not crushes"
tonight I had some bizarre conversations with ryan britton. The first being about how balls are squishy, and yet how we both adore the small of a female's back. We also spoke of his new band, and random members which prompted me to put him through the third degree over subject matters he found irrelevant. However, it made for nice conversation, in my opinion. Today has been one of those days where I sit around and go "damn, my life sucks, I wish I either: A. had a job, B. was going to school or C. didn't live in arkansas. But ya know..things never go like I want them to go, so tomorrow will probably be the same kind of day, wake up at 2 pm, realize I have slept most of the day away, lie in bed for another hour trying to decide if I really want to get up, finally get up, take a shower, get all dressed and cute...but for nothing. To continue to sit on my ass and do nothing. Get a Job!! you say...BUT I've tried, and I'm trying, and I've got certain obstacles. Arkansas is such a depressing state. It has this air of "I'm a deadbeat, doing nothing with my life, living from paycheck to paycheck, and no that's not alright with me, but I'm not going to do anything to make it better." ahhhh the teenage angst..or is it? And another lovely factor, yet another person has inquired about my recent escapade on a certain set of stairs..damn. Oh well. And now the fucking internet has me all paranoid, maybe I will visit NLR very soon..who knows. Damnit. I cannot wait for the time when I am content with everything, and I know it is possible, so don't try to argue otherwise. I miss Charlie. hmm...and another thing, I know most people don't know I have this journal, but if you are out there and you read this, could you please post. It makes me feel less of a loser to know that some people read this..besides heather. okay, goodnight. I love you.