fuckin' hell
everything reminds me of her. everything throws me into anger, then into sorrow. now i'm here, alone, confused, hurt, i'm scared and i don't know why. making someone your world and having them leave is like the world ending (for a good reason). i don't know what to do. i'm scared of something, but i don't know what. i saw her on okcupid monday night. doesn't even wait for the body to get cold. and i was "one of her most meaningful relationships ever" yeah. and the pope actually does shit in the woods. and maybe i am like this with every girl that tosses me a second glance. ALL THREE OF THEM. one, i fucked up with, the second one went nuts, and the third hurts most of all. just came out of left field, like a .45 slug. i'm fuckin' drowning here, and i don't even remember being in the water!if someone can explain any of this, it'd be greatly appreciated. i know my friends are there for me. some of hers are, too. but having the first person i thought i could actually end up with turn around and tell me it's over for a list of excuses that could have been worked on ut weren't? never even attempted. that's low. it's cold. i can't stay mad at her, because i love her. i can't love her because i hate this whole damn situation. I CAN'T STOP FEELING THE WAY I DO all i ever wanted, rolled up into one package. says she can see herself with me. two months later, i'm the fuckin' bubonic plague. but i'm a great guy. that's an insult to my intellgence. this doesn't happen to "great" guys. i wish i could wake up three months ago, so when her little IM box popped up i could say "save yourself the trouble and go beat your head into the wall" because apparently that's what going out with me is like. so here's a warning to all you women out there, who shoot glances my way. don't. do yourself a favor and turn lesbian before i get to you. in fact, if you see me coming, whip out some mace, or a gun, and put me out of my goddamn misery. i'm sure at least one person would thank you.