on a steel horse i ride...
good lord. school's ending again, but this year i'm i much better shape. maybe no physically, but my self-opinion is rising. i'm fittn to break some habits, fittn to relax, and let things come naturally. gonna start lifting weights, bulking up, doing my work... all that crap i should have done in high school. now, for the real feat. tomorrow i'm going to go to school. but it won't be any normal wednesday. i'll get up early, take a shower, brush my teeth, floss, shave, put on my deodorant, put some gum in my pocket, down two cigarettes on the way to school, chew the gum, spray some cologne, walk right up to and attempt tp calmly ask her if shed like to hang out sometime. she will then look at me and do one of two things.
1) she will be startled and surprised, and not take me seriously. she will giggle, which will build into a laugh, and i'll have to act like i'm laughing too. it will hurt, but hey, that's what life is about.
2)she will get all quiet and thoughtful, and proceed to tell me how she doesn't see me that way, but i'm a really cool person, and totally awesome and stuff, and etc... it will hurt more than the first one, i think. either way, i'll go back to the car, down a couple more cigarettes as i beat myself up inside for not being Kent, and proceed to get angry for no real reason.
all in all, it should be an eventful day. but god, how i hope neither of those things happen... i'm ready to have a change of luck. i mean, i've felt good about being me for a few weeks again. i'm not ready to let that go. i can't wait for the 5th, it oughta be awesome. especially if mom lets me stay the night instead of having to come back home. i'll get the "you're 20 years old and can do what you want" which is a major guilt trip, and if i go and stay there, i'll be a villain forever. if i don't stay, i'll just collect my things and come home, and be a REAL villain. why can't i justy have everyone else's life?
oh well, may the road rise to meet your feet and the sun shine on your back all your days.
~jason
1) she will be startled and surprised, and not take me seriously. she will giggle, which will build into a laugh, and i'll have to act like i'm laughing too. it will hurt, but hey, that's what life is about.
2)she will get all quiet and thoughtful, and proceed to tell me how she doesn't see me that way, but i'm a really cool person, and totally awesome and stuff, and etc... it will hurt more than the first one, i think. either way, i'll go back to the car, down a couple more cigarettes as i beat myself up inside for not being Kent, and proceed to get angry for no real reason.
all in all, it should be an eventful day. but god, how i hope neither of those things happen... i'm ready to have a change of luck. i mean, i've felt good about being me for a few weeks again. i'm not ready to let that go. i can't wait for the 5th, it oughta be awesome. especially if mom lets me stay the night instead of having to come back home. i'll get the "you're 20 years old and can do what you want" which is a major guilt trip, and if i go and stay there, i'll be a villain forever. if i don't stay, i'll just collect my things and come home, and be a REAL villain. why can't i justy have everyone else's life?
oh well, may the road rise to meet your feet and the sun shine on your back all your days.
~jason