everyone else seems to have...
ranting...it's happening all over LJ, it's the latest thing, you should all try it. hmm...ranting fever...catch it!! anyways, i have stuff to rant about but...i don't want to, i feel too whiny, especially about the things i want to rant about, cuz in all honesty, i'm sick of ranting about them to friends...er my friend... cuz i don't really talk to any of you people in that way, or MCC people anymore cuz i don't see them.
since i've been out of school, i've lost touch with a lot of people, and that's sad in a sense, but then it also alows me to look at the people in my life and say, wow they weren't really a friend at all, they were just there. that's kinda depressing, cuz i thought i had a lot of good friends. apparently i had a lot of "good acquaintances" and nothing more.
the thought of moving away strikes my mind again...and again...and again. along with the thought of the military, even though right now would probably be the worst time to do it. i don't know how much longer i can do this whole contruction full time and then some shit. cuz while working with my dad has been amazing, i feel like i HAVE to work overtime with him. and even though more money is good, and as much as i admire the man known as my father, i don't want to BE him. a slave to my job, so my family can live. i feel if i do that now at 20 i'll be doing it when i'm 30, then 40. and i'll be able to look back at the greater appreciation for my father, but also the regret he had of not spending time with us while we were younger. (my bros and myself) i don't want that to happen.
as much as i care for my family, sometimes i feel i don't love them, i just kinda tolerate them. and i care for my friends, but with my second paragraph i'm not really sure who they are anymore. Ox is. he is my friend, and my "brother" and always will be. whether he likes it or not..haha. and as weird as it is, he is the main reason i can't move. he would be the one aside from me, most wanting me to move for my happiness. but i just can't picture my life without a friend like him. i'd be even more of a shell, and if you people think i can be mean or cold now...i would pity you, if you ran into me without him in my life...he is my family...
since i've been out of school, i've lost touch with a lot of people, and that's sad in a sense, but then it also alows me to look at the people in my life and say, wow they weren't really a friend at all, they were just there. that's kinda depressing, cuz i thought i had a lot of good friends. apparently i had a lot of "good acquaintances" and nothing more.
the thought of moving away strikes my mind again...and again...and again. along with the thought of the military, even though right now would probably be the worst time to do it. i don't know how much longer i can do this whole contruction full time and then some shit. cuz while working with my dad has been amazing, i feel like i HAVE to work overtime with him. and even though more money is good, and as much as i admire the man known as my father, i don't want to BE him. a slave to my job, so my family can live. i feel if i do that now at 20 i'll be doing it when i'm 30, then 40. and i'll be able to look back at the greater appreciation for my father, but also the regret he had of not spending time with us while we were younger. (my bros and myself) i don't want that to happen.
as much as i care for my family, sometimes i feel i don't love them, i just kinda tolerate them. and i care for my friends, but with my second paragraph i'm not really sure who they are anymore. Ox is. he is my friend, and my "brother" and always will be. whether he likes it or not..haha. and as weird as it is, he is the main reason i can't move. he would be the one aside from me, most wanting me to move for my happiness. but i just can't picture my life without a friend like him. i'd be even more of a shell, and if you people think i can be mean or cold now...i would pity you, if you ran into me without him in my life...he is my family...