I'm a musician

[drcampbell]

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

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Comments

[touchkitndie]

You need to have words with your wife, Campbell.

[drcampbell]

Oh, aye? I didnae do it.

[touchkitndie]

Apparently you did. She's trying to get her "romantic claws" into me.

[drcampbell]

You're doomed, buddy. But dinnae worry, she'll have them into you before you realise.

[touchkitndie]

...

Thanks for your help, mate.

[drcampbell]

I'd offer you a sympathy fuck, but I'm married now.

[touchkitndie]

That's alright, your dick's not big enough for me anyway. I need something that requires a crane to lift.

[drcampbell]

Buddy, you'd be cripple for a month after trying to take me.

[touchkitndie]

You wouldn't even use lube? That's just rude. I've seen you, pal. It's not all that. Probably got a penis pump stashed somewhere.

[drcampbell]

What have you been doing studying my dick so closely, Joshie? Got something you want to tell me? Dinnae tell me you've been snogging Riley too.

[touchkitndie]

Have you honestly forgotten how many times you've flashed it since I've known you, L? Yeah, that's right. My overwhelming urge to bury my willy in pussy is because I'm gay. I'm really imagining your tight arse. Although I think it'd work out better if you got a boob job. Need something to hang onto.

[drcampbell]

That something would be my ten inch cock. You've heard the theme song.

[touchkitndie]

Ooh, baby... stop it. My nine inch cock's already hard just thinking about it.

[drcampbell]

Nine inches. Pfft. Now who's been into the penis pump? Tara might share her breast pump with you. You can do your nads then, too.

[touchkitndie]

Alright, eight. But I know what I'm doing with it. My nads are fine, but cheers for the suggestion.

[drcampbell]

Oh come on, no sulking now. I'll buy you a pint when we get to Edinburgh. I'm sure your cock is adequate. Lassies just prefer the singer's.