Awards
Much like Oprah, I also give awards, except my awards do not smell like beer.
Most likely to trip over an imaginary object: Kara
Most likely to sell their soul to the devil for fame, fortune, an 8 ball of crack, and a stuffed penguin: Oprah
Most likely to drain the ocean while swimming in it: Moose
Most likely to cry when he gets erectile disfunction: Godfather Nikki
Most likely to decapitate a pumpkin: Micro-Kara
Most likely to not be wearing a shirt when I visit: Cedric
Most likely to be mistaken for a chia pet: Hairy Dan
Most likely to be mistaken for an ugly Tom Petty: Neff
Most likely to run an ice cream parlor out of business: Female Nikki
Most likely to secretly be plotting my death: Scott Dray
Most likely to hump my leg: Lil' Wonka
Most likely to wet the bed: Bojangles
Most likely to be my secret lover and mother: Becca
Most likely to eat small children: The Sam
Most likely to be arrested by the border patrol: Gustavo
Most likely to grab my ass 30 times in one night: Kristen
Most likely to enjoy community showers: Fat Tommy
Most likely to wear a pink vest: Texas
Most likely to hit me with a plunger: Harry Potter
Most likely to be a chubby chaser: Kylee
Most likely to scream at the sight of penguins: Fernando
Most likely to become shapped like a ball: Professor Skank
Most likely to get drunk and want sex from me: Annelise
Most likely to yell random things like "my skin is made of diamonds": Canadian Adam
Most likely to become a counselor for AA: Mr. Floyd
Most likely to become a cheap male stripper to pay for beer: Smelly Bum/Oprah
Most likely to cry himself to sleep: Ryan Shelton
Most likely to support the reincarnated Joseph Stalin in his bid for power: Kevin Hartman
Most likely to dance in a tutu: Leprechaun
Most likely to chew on my leg: Rat Boy
Most likely to trip over an imaginary object: Kara
Most likely to sell their soul to the devil for fame, fortune, an 8 ball of crack, and a stuffed penguin: Oprah
Most likely to drain the ocean while swimming in it: Moose
Most likely to cry when he gets erectile disfunction: Godfather Nikki
Most likely to decapitate a pumpkin: Micro-Kara
Most likely to not be wearing a shirt when I visit: Cedric
Most likely to be mistaken for a chia pet: Hairy Dan
Most likely to be mistaken for an ugly Tom Petty: Neff
Most likely to run an ice cream parlor out of business: Female Nikki
Most likely to secretly be plotting my death: Scott Dray
Most likely to hump my leg: Lil' Wonka
Most likely to wet the bed: Bojangles
Most likely to be my secret lover and mother: Becca
Most likely to eat small children: The Sam
Most likely to be arrested by the border patrol: Gustavo
Most likely to grab my ass 30 times in one night: Kristen
Most likely to enjoy community showers: Fat Tommy
Most likely to wear a pink vest: Texas
Most likely to hit me with a plunger: Harry Potter
Most likely to be a chubby chaser: Kylee
Most likely to scream at the sight of penguins: Fernando
Most likely to become shapped like a ball: Professor Skank
Most likely to get drunk and want sex from me: Annelise
Most likely to yell random things like "my skin is made of diamonds": Canadian Adam
Most likely to become a counselor for AA: Mr. Floyd
Most likely to become a cheap male stripper to pay for beer: Smelly Bum/Oprah
Most likely to cry himself to sleep: Ryan Shelton
Most likely to support the reincarnated Joseph Stalin in his bid for power: Kevin Hartman
Most likely to dance in a tutu: Leprechaun
Most likely to chew on my leg: Rat Boy