(no subject)
I recently realized that I was posting daily on this thing when I lived in Colville, mostly because I was severly bored and slightly angry at the world. I had shitty jobs on and off, random hours, insomnia and acces to a Computer nearly any hour in the day, or night. And now with fourty hoursa week and alot less time I can't seem to be bothered to write here much anymore. I lost track of a few things, a few people. Smoked alot of weed, didn't go back to school.
I really wish I had written down
All the thoughts I had inside me today
Sitting in complacency while my head spun round
And fearing how it slows down, having to decide a way
For my head to go once I came back
From the clouds and space and flowers
That smell so beautiful limed in black
Like veiled eyes blinking out the hours
~
I wasted so much time
Thinking about happy
Once I was fine
I had forgot me
~
My mind passed a stone
With a bright flash and a bang
I stood in the world alone
Feeling tingles of pain
Checking my palms for crosses
Thankfully, I am no savior
I count out my losses
And bless sordid behavior
Dancing from street to street
Moving to a secret rhythm
Hearing the living beat
Of a heart inside them
~
How could it be this that which I cannot see has taken my mind from within me?
And removed the thought that was thinking long before a sickly stone could be sinking.
Effecting gravity long before design would allow this callous pattern to break my mind.
And somehow I find myself deciding decisions of villanous behavior that lead to a gun.
And when I find on my feet that it is decided a while before my heart beets that I would run.
~
I have no idea why anyof that just came out of me. How can I be in controll if i'm not if in charge? This paranoia has got to stop. Please don't read this...
I really wish I had written down
All the thoughts I had inside me today
Sitting in complacency while my head spun round
And fearing how it slows down, having to decide a way
For my head to go once I came back
From the clouds and space and flowers
That smell so beautiful limed in black
Like veiled eyes blinking out the hours
~
I wasted so much time
Thinking about happy
Once I was fine
I had forgot me
~
My mind passed a stone
With a bright flash and a bang
I stood in the world alone
Feeling tingles of pain
Checking my palms for crosses
Thankfully, I am no savior
I count out my losses
And bless sordid behavior
Dancing from street to street
Moving to a secret rhythm
Hearing the living beat
Of a heart inside them
~
How could it be this that which I cannot see has taken my mind from within me?
And removed the thought that was thinking long before a sickly stone could be sinking.
Effecting gravity long before design would allow this callous pattern to break my mind.
And somehow I find myself deciding decisions of villanous behavior that lead to a gun.
And when I find on my feet that it is decided a while before my heart beets that I would run.
~
I have no idea why anyof that just came out of me. How can I be in controll if i'm not if in charge? This paranoia has got to stop. Please don't read this...