LJ on KL
Act III
[Curtain opens to reveal a familiar scene. The soft glow of track lighting, the plush fabric of the booth seats, and the familiar notes of old Europe play over the speakers. Again, the figure is holed up in the warm Katashima Patisserie: a coffee house way too classy for this joint. Milk tea in one hand, fag in the other, he begins.]
I’m a changed man, you know. It’s true!! If we had spoken last year, you’d have been speaking with an ignorant boy. But now, you see before you an awakened man, a sage-like saint of the ancient East, a bodhisattva who will spread wisdom to all unfortunates trapped in imperfect illusion. Perhaps…. Yes….. I am the next Buddha. Oh, I see you laugh, but when I think about it, my trip to South East Asia was exactly like Siddhartha’s journey towards enlightenment - well, except for the whole “born to royalty, years spent as an ascetic, and being tempted by the lusty whores of Evil,” our stories are remarkably similar.
No doubt, you are wondering, “What voyages will he tell us of now? Who did he encounter? When will he shut the hell up?” Hrrrrm. I apologize for my long winded and drawn out recounting. Really, I do. But please listen closely, children, to my last sermon and head well the final lessons I have to teach….
From Bangkok, the group traveled back to Singapore for a short respite before embarking on the concluding leg of our journey. There’s not much to say for our two day stopover, except that it was New Year’s Eve. 2005 was fast approaching and we planned to party like it was 1999. While Bangkok was fun and we did our fare share of carousing, that whole experience was more of a wakeup call to the realities of the world, rather than an escape from them. In Singapore, we could let our guard down, walk freely without the constant reminders of the painful human condition, and drink tap water at liberty. It was also much safer to go separate ways and ring in the New Year with our particular brand of company. Re: I was drunk at a gay club in 8 seconds flat.
Luckily, I was accompanied by my queer-friendly Kiwi companion, Luke, who did his darndest to keep a brotherly eye on me. And when the ball dropped, he was the best kissing partner a lonely gay boy could ask for. (DePauw’s bi-curious make-out crew walks in?!?!) Despite Luke’s kind efforts to prevent me for falling into trouble, I still had intentions to start the year off with a bang - if you know what I mean….. And, looking back, perhaps taking a total stranger to my hotel was NOT my classiest moment.
His name was Mohammed Abdullah and he was a completely harmless and fairly nice Malay Muslim boy. But I should have known something was fishy when he gave me his email address and it included both the word “bottom” and the number “69”. I ALSO should gotten the clue when, back in my hotel room, he pulled out a bottle of poppers he’d illegally smuggled from England. (Please refer to previous chapters on: SINGAPORE, DRUGS, and the DEATH PENALTY to fully understand my mortification). If you don’t know, “poppers” is a strong liquid that provides cheap and quick brain cell-killing highs. They're about as “heroine chic” as sniffing rubber cement. But anyway, by the time he started huffin’ n’ puffin’ away his 10th grade math class, my beer goggles were wearing off, and I decided he wasn’t cute enough to risk capital punishment for. I went to bed and kicked him out the next morning. My New Year’s sadly did not start with a bang, but at least it didn’t start with a pop, either.
After that fiasco, on January 2nd, Meiyen (our shopping aficionado) fearlessly led us north of Singapore to the land of Whole Sale Prices: the land of Malaysia. We were excited because according to the tourist infomercials, “Malaysia is truly Asia!” Although, all other peoples on the continent are still debating that one. We stayed in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of this peninsular nation, for only three days, which unfortunately was not enough time for anything spiritually enlightening. I can say, however, that the city of KL is a true marvel, an energetic experiment in modernization. While much of Malaysia is still jungle, or provincial plantations, KL is an economic hub bursting with affluence and determination. Beautifully manicured parks are shaded by super high-rises. Brand new, colossal shopping “cities” dwarf the puny Mall of America. Hotels and fancy clubs sprout everywhere among the polished skyscrapers. Ironically, these rich boy playgrounds are designed to emulate the holy mosques of the Middle East, with towering minarets and tiled domes. Yet, they are brightly colored and intricately detailed with stunning facades, giving some parts of KL a “Hagia Sofia meets Kremlin meets Las Vegas Hotel” look.
(Edit: another spectacular experience was standing below the metallic-blue Petronas Twin Towers. At the time we saw them, they WERE the tallest in the world, but soon after Taipei 101 opened in Taiwan, ending KL’s brief record holding reign. Now, Shanghai’s got eyes for the prize and won’t stop building until they hit ozone. Those two silly billy countries - always trying to ruffle each other’s feathers!!)
Finally, one interesting fact is that Malaysia is mostly Muslim. This would make many Americans nervous, but visiting KL teaches an important (and often times forgotten) lesson to our Fox News generation: a diverse multitude of cultures on both sides of the spectrum follow the words of the Prophet. While our crazy, fundy-filled government wages war against other crazy, fundy-filled governments and organizations in Arabia, many see Malaysia as leading the fight on a different front. Their democratic elections and moderate, progressively thinking leader makes one wonder. Will meaningful change and true peace in the Middle East come from outside? If so, then that revolution will not be orchestrated in staff rooms of the White House, but rather will grow in the far peripheries of the Islamic crescent and slowly spread inward.
I realized this when walking in the great malls of KL. Indeed, nothing assured me more of our inherent commonality than shopping for sales next to smiling Malay women -- their broad, "truly Asian" faces delicately framed by pastel hijabs.
Continued....
[Curtain opens to reveal a familiar scene. The soft glow of track lighting, the plush fabric of the booth seats, and the familiar notes of old Europe play over the speakers. Again, the figure is holed up in the warm Katashima Patisserie: a coffee house way too classy for this joint. Milk tea in one hand, fag in the other, he begins.]
I’m a changed man, you know. It’s true!! If we had spoken last year, you’d have been speaking with an ignorant boy. But now, you see before you an awakened man, a sage-like saint of the ancient East, a bodhisattva who will spread wisdom to all unfortunates trapped in imperfect illusion. Perhaps…. Yes….. I am the next Buddha. Oh, I see you laugh, but when I think about it, my trip to South East Asia was exactly like Siddhartha’s journey towards enlightenment - well, except for the whole “born to royalty, years spent as an ascetic, and being tempted by the lusty whores of Evil,” our stories are remarkably similar.
No doubt, you are wondering, “What voyages will he tell us of now? Who did he encounter? When will he shut the hell up?” Hrrrrm. I apologize for my long winded and drawn out recounting. Really, I do. But please listen closely, children, to my last sermon and head well the final lessons I have to teach….
From Bangkok, the group traveled back to Singapore for a short respite before embarking on the concluding leg of our journey. There’s not much to say for our two day stopover, except that it was New Year’s Eve. 2005 was fast approaching and we planned to party like it was 1999. While Bangkok was fun and we did our fare share of carousing, that whole experience was more of a wakeup call to the realities of the world, rather than an escape from them. In Singapore, we could let our guard down, walk freely without the constant reminders of the painful human condition, and drink tap water at liberty. It was also much safer to go separate ways and ring in the New Year with our particular brand of company. Re: I was drunk at a gay club in 8 seconds flat.
Luckily, I was accompanied by my queer-friendly Kiwi companion, Luke, who did his darndest to keep a brotherly eye on me. And when the ball dropped, he was the best kissing partner a lonely gay boy could ask for. (DePauw’s bi-curious make-out crew walks in?!?!) Despite Luke’s kind efforts to prevent me for falling into trouble, I still had intentions to start the year off with a bang - if you know what I mean….. And, looking back, perhaps taking a total stranger to my hotel was NOT my classiest moment.
His name was Mohammed Abdullah and he was a completely harmless and fairly nice Malay Muslim boy. But I should have known something was fishy when he gave me his email address and it included both the word “bottom” and the number “69”. I ALSO should gotten the clue when, back in my hotel room, he pulled out a bottle of poppers he’d illegally smuggled from England. (Please refer to previous chapters on: SINGAPORE, DRUGS, and the DEATH PENALTY to fully understand my mortification). If you don’t know, “poppers” is a strong liquid that provides cheap and quick brain cell-killing highs. They're about as “heroine chic” as sniffing rubber cement. But anyway, by the time he started huffin’ n’ puffin’ away his 10th grade math class, my beer goggles were wearing off, and I decided he wasn’t cute enough to risk capital punishment for. I went to bed and kicked him out the next morning. My New Year’s sadly did not start with a bang, but at least it didn’t start with a pop, either.
After that fiasco, on January 2nd, Meiyen (our shopping aficionado) fearlessly led us north of Singapore to the land of Whole Sale Prices: the land of Malaysia. We were excited because according to the tourist infomercials, “Malaysia is truly Asia!” Although, all other peoples on the continent are still debating that one. We stayed in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of this peninsular nation, for only three days, which unfortunately was not enough time for anything spiritually enlightening. I can say, however, that the city of KL is a true marvel, an energetic experiment in modernization. While much of Malaysia is still jungle, or provincial plantations, KL is an economic hub bursting with affluence and determination. Beautifully manicured parks are shaded by super high-rises. Brand new, colossal shopping “cities” dwarf the puny Mall of America. Hotels and fancy clubs sprout everywhere among the polished skyscrapers. Ironically, these rich boy playgrounds are designed to emulate the holy mosques of the Middle East, with towering minarets and tiled domes. Yet, they are brightly colored and intricately detailed with stunning facades, giving some parts of KL a “Hagia Sofia meets Kremlin meets Las Vegas Hotel” look.
(Edit: another spectacular experience was standing below the metallic-blue Petronas Twin Towers. At the time we saw them, they WERE the tallest in the world, but soon after Taipei 101 opened in Taiwan, ending KL’s brief record holding reign. Now, Shanghai’s got eyes for the prize and won’t stop building until they hit ozone. Those two silly billy countries - always trying to ruffle each other’s feathers!!)
Finally, one interesting fact is that Malaysia is mostly Muslim. This would make many Americans nervous, but visiting KL teaches an important (and often times forgotten) lesson to our Fox News generation: a diverse multitude of cultures on both sides of the spectrum follow the words of the Prophet. While our crazy, fundy-filled government wages war against other crazy, fundy-filled governments and organizations in Arabia, many see Malaysia as leading the fight on a different front. Their democratic elections and moderate, progressively thinking leader makes one wonder. Will meaningful change and true peace in the Middle East come from outside? If so, then that revolution will not be orchestrated in staff rooms of the White House, but rather will grow in the far peripheries of the Islamic crescent and slowly spread inward.
I realized this when walking in the great malls of KL. Indeed, nothing assured me more of our inherent commonality than shopping for sales next to smiling Malay women -- their broad, "truly Asian" faces delicately framed by pastel hijabs.
Continued....