Your tremors and glee
Why, hello there blog. I'd meant to post a rant of sorts a few weeks back, but never posted, and hey look at that! LJ saves drafts? O.o :
"I'm truly uncomfortable with the fact that I've begun to question how long I can continue working at the animal hospital. My hours have remained fairly static, and even with my summertime flexibility, I'm not able to work more hours simply because the extra help isn't needed unless someone else is sick or on vacation. With the car payment, the new (and ever-rising) expense of gas, and fall tuition coming up, my paychecks don't make it as far as they used to, much less far enough to contribute to my savings account effectively and consistently.
And sometimes I feel like dead-weight when Justin and I go out lately, because we used to have this alternating system of "You pick, I pay" whenever we went out to eat. Great system. Felt balanced. But I can't remember the last time I was able treat, and this fact buzzes around me trying to poke at me like an annoying mosquito that just won't go away dammit. Lucky girl that I am, he's been very sweet about it and assures me that it's ok and that he wants to treat me, but I've come to realize how incredibly stubborn I am about wanting to feel capable of contribution. And it's not as though either one of use can continue that too terribly long, especially since he'll be moving out in a couple months.
Aside from silly whines about wanting to pay for dinners every once in a while, can ya blame a college student for just wanting to do what she feels like doing without having a Homer Simpson inner-turmoil moment where she debates with herself in her head about whether or not it's feasible to do this or that, or involuntarily making mental calculations about if this purchase or that activity will cripple my checking account before the next paycheck can save the day?
I mean, c'mon! It's a treat to buy myself anything aside from food these days! I bought two cd's at Half-Price Books the other day for less than five dollars a pop, and I felt bad? Wtf!
The self-guilt-tripping little imp inside me says that I'm being selfish. But I've also been told that it's not selfish at all for me to want to maintain a reasonable standard of living and think about finding another job; It's just me looking after myself, taking preventative measures so that I don't become a complete hermit just because money is tight.
Damn you, monies. Damn you! You're just paper and numbers on a deposit slip! ::spits at the ground::
Well.. glad that's off my chest for a bit. :D
True to form, I try my best to keep things light-hearted. After all, life's just a comedy in the long run."
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In more recent news, we've begun another attempt at playing a D&D campaign. Fear not, the following nerd-out moment will pass swiftly: I play a female human ranger (currently at level 6) proficient with a composite longbow, and an owl for an animal companion. It's been fun so far, but my character still needs quite a bit of fleshing out. I think we've got a nice group and DM with one hell of an imagination. ^_~
That wasn't so bad now, was it?
I've also had a string of odd dreams during the break. Some of which have had soundtracks. Now every time I hear the intro of Depeche Mode's "The Things You Said," I think of creepy cave excavations. Love the song anyways. Maybe I'll elaborate later. Dreams are always interesting to talk about.
Time to get ready for work though.
"I'm truly uncomfortable with the fact that I've begun to question how long I can continue working at the animal hospital. My hours have remained fairly static, and even with my summertime flexibility, I'm not able to work more hours simply because the extra help isn't needed unless someone else is sick or on vacation. With the car payment, the new (and ever-rising) expense of gas, and fall tuition coming up, my paychecks don't make it as far as they used to, much less far enough to contribute to my savings account effectively and consistently.
And sometimes I feel like dead-weight when Justin and I go out lately, because we used to have this alternating system of "You pick, I pay" whenever we went out to eat. Great system. Felt balanced. But I can't remember the last time I was able treat, and this fact buzzes around me trying to poke at me like an annoying mosquito that just won't go away dammit. Lucky girl that I am, he's been very sweet about it and assures me that it's ok and that he wants to treat me, but I've come to realize how incredibly stubborn I am about wanting to feel capable of contribution. And it's not as though either one of use can continue that too terribly long, especially since he'll be moving out in a couple months.
Aside from silly whines about wanting to pay for dinners every once in a while, can ya blame a college student for just wanting to do what she feels like doing without having a Homer Simpson inner-turmoil moment where she debates with herself in her head about whether or not it's feasible to do this or that, or involuntarily making mental calculations about if this purchase or that activity will cripple my checking account before the next paycheck can save the day?
I mean, c'mon! It's a treat to buy myself anything aside from food these days! I bought two cd's at Half-Price Books the other day for less than five dollars a pop, and I felt bad? Wtf!
The self-guilt-tripping little imp inside me says that I'm being selfish. But I've also been told that it's not selfish at all for me to want to maintain a reasonable standard of living and think about finding another job; It's just me looking after myself, taking preventative measures so that I don't become a complete hermit just because money is tight.
Damn you, monies. Damn you! You're just paper and numbers on a deposit slip! ::spits at the ground::
Well.. glad that's off my chest for a bit. :D
True to form, I try my best to keep things light-hearted. After all, life's just a comedy in the long run."
--------
In more recent news, we've begun another attempt at playing a D&D campaign. Fear not, the following nerd-out moment will pass swiftly: I play a female human ranger (currently at level 6) proficient with a composite longbow, and an owl for an animal companion. It's been fun so far, but my character still needs quite a bit of fleshing out. I think we've got a nice group and DM with one hell of an imagination. ^_~
That wasn't so bad now, was it?
I've also had a string of odd dreams during the break. Some of which have had soundtracks. Now every time I hear the intro of Depeche Mode's "The Things You Said," I think of creepy cave excavations. Love the song anyways. Maybe I'll elaborate later. Dreams are always interesting to talk about.
Time to get ready for work though.