who needs college....
I've decided to turn all my friends into action figures. Not literally, mind you, but to have an action figure version of all my friends and aquaintances and especially my enemies. Whichever one you may fall under, i'm sure you can't deny the appeal of having your very own Joe action figure, which stabs up with it's knife hand upon having it's legs squeezed together. Granted, Joe does not in fact have a knife for a hand, but i know he would appreciate it. The Hunter action figure would also come with several knife accessories, as well as being covered in patches of velcro to signify his ample man-hair. The best part is, when you throw him at people, he'll stick to their clothes! Ben would come with a missle-launching movie camera, and of course anthony would have 8 pairs of potato-head-style poppable sneakers and basketball shoes, along with a flaming basketball that he can throw with his spring-loaded shoulder. Natasha would have Action-Gucci bags that she would swing when a button was pressed in her back and of course i would be made of that glow in the dark plastic and grow a Donegal whenever hot water was splashed on my face. I'd market them as "Jacob's Friends" and have a cool logo that had nothing to do with any of them, like a giant flaming rhino. I think i could actually sell these things to the Greg Woods of the world, who would buy them for the sheer hilarity of owning action figures that were based off some guy's friends. which reminds me, also coming soon...Aqua-Attack Greg Wood (with real firing harpoon!)