Week 35: Suit up, dress down
AHUC
The small conference we'd been planning for over 6 months came and went on Tues (dinner) and Wed (actual conference).
It's a nice feeling to be told: "Thank God you're here.", even if the cause for the comment was preventing someone from autopiloting into a dustbin, or pouring soup into a soup plate without the accompanying soup bowl. Always good to feel useful. Which is basically what I did for the conference.
-Filling up a seat at Halia after someone MCed, and polishing off the half-chicken
-Running AV for that same dinner
-Helping people carry out last minute modifications to their slides, insert confidential video, test etc.
-Running spare translators to the delegates when they inevitably fritzed out.
-And other miscellaneous duties, not that there was very much because the team was so efficient.
Noticed how different people react to various injects. One of my colleagues was exhibiting proneness to anxiety (guess that's neuroticism in action?), which provided me with entertainment / practice at soothing and encouraging.
Made a couple of acquaintances from the Korea and Hong Kong delegation #friendsinhighplaces (no kidding in HK 40 storey buildings are 'common') Saw them again at the IHF lunch reception after I shamelessly went down for a free lunch. Nice to know I made a bit of an impression :)
Second half of the week was me finally spending some time in office after being away for 2.5 weeks. People do notice your absence (hey you're back!), and they're especially welcoming of your return when you come bearing free food (courtesy of the SAF teehee).
One night in Jaybee
Pictured below: Fun with the palm activation function aka KEECHIU4PHOTO
Probably going to be the last night in JB for a while too, given the trying nature of trying to cross the Causeway on a weekend. Imagine stationary buses, moshpit queues (on the Singapore side) where people maintain body contact with you to maintain their position in the line, and a directionless mess when trying to find a bus to take you across the Causeway back home (no wonder taengudnight walked across). Yes, the arcade was dirt cheap (1RM per credit WUTTT) but the sanity toll was a little too high.
The massage was good, the codenames was a riot (hope friendships survived the infinite household solid and killer whale shark), and late night convos were good, as always. Grab was also stupidly cheap, we never paid more than RM7 for a ride (plus private hire cars circumvent the 4-person seat limit NP) What wasn't great was all the phones coming out in the restaurant the moment the wi-fi came back on. Or some unexpected (well-intentioned) injects. Which I dealt with eventually, and life goes on, as it should. Thankful for the BLTC support group. Level-headed reasoning, 'I feel you bro' empathy and astute observations, can't get those at many other places. Unexpected wonders of 2017.
Thankful too for the satellite support provided from unexpected sources. The advice posed remains: If you really want to continue game, go ahead and sort things out. Or just let time do the healing.
Is it something I want to continue, though? That question isn't so straightforward. Two months ago I decided to just DGAF and perform a unilateral time out. New inputs haven't really changed my decision. But it bears remembering that any excision made has repercussions on the surroundings it was extracted from. No one lives in a vacuum.
Notes to future self:
The need for control over one's image is a pernicious one, since attempts to micromanage have a terrible return on investment, and one is trying to control something ultimately out of one's control. No amount of "good morning beautifuls" can paper over (what appears to be) a lack of self-compassion.
Be kind to everyone, for we're all fighting their own battles. But first, be kind to yourself.
Forgive, always forgive. We will hurt one another, for to stumble is to be human.
Assume good intentions, always, for any other way is too depressing.
The ego is, and always will be the enemy. So what if you suck at something? By daring you're ahead of everyone too timid to leave the sidelines (related note : play more dance dance revolution, those reading feel free to jio me and my two left feet)
Everybody talks. But not everyone shares your inclination towards forthrightness. Even if you're a avoidant wimp when it comes to some issues. DEAL WITH IT.
People care more than they let on. But about what, that's for them to know.
The small conference we'd been planning for over 6 months came and went on Tues (dinner) and Wed (actual conference).
It's a nice feeling to be told: "Thank God you're here.", even if the cause for the comment was preventing someone from autopiloting into a dustbin, or pouring soup into a soup plate without the accompanying soup bowl. Always good to feel useful. Which is basically what I did for the conference.
-Filling up a seat at Halia after someone MCed, and polishing off the half-chicken
-Running AV for that same dinner
-Helping people carry out last minute modifications to their slides, insert confidential video, test etc.
-Running spare translators to the delegates when they inevitably fritzed out.
-And other miscellaneous duties, not that there was very much because the team was so efficient.
Noticed how different people react to various injects. One of my colleagues was exhibiting proneness to anxiety (guess that's neuroticism in action?), which provided me with entertainment / practice at soothing and encouraging.
Made a couple of acquaintances from the Korea and Hong Kong delegation #friendsinhighplaces (no kidding in HK 40 storey buildings are 'common') Saw them again at the IHF lunch reception after I shamelessly went down for a free lunch. Nice to know I made a bit of an impression :)
Second half of the week was me finally spending some time in office after being away for 2.5 weeks. People do notice your absence (hey you're back!), and they're especially welcoming of your return when you come bearing free food (courtesy of the SAF teehee).
One night in Jaybee
Pictured below: Fun with the palm activation function aka KEECHIU4PHOTO
Probably going to be the last night in JB for a while too, given the trying nature of trying to cross the Causeway on a weekend. Imagine stationary buses, moshpit queues (on the Singapore side) where people maintain body contact with you to maintain their position in the line, and a directionless mess when trying to find a bus to take you across the Causeway back home (no wonder taengudnight walked across). Yes, the arcade was dirt cheap (1RM per credit WUTTT) but the sanity toll was a little too high.
The massage was good, the codenames was a riot (hope friendships survived the infinite household solid and killer whale shark), and late night convos were good, as always. Grab was also stupidly cheap, we never paid more than RM7 for a ride (plus private hire cars circumvent the 4-person seat limit NP) What wasn't great was all the phones coming out in the restaurant the moment the wi-fi came back on. Or some unexpected (well-intentioned) injects. Which I dealt with eventually, and life goes on, as it should. Thankful for the BLTC support group. Level-headed reasoning, 'I feel you bro' empathy and astute observations, can't get those at many other places. Unexpected wonders of 2017.
Thankful too for the satellite support provided from unexpected sources. The advice posed remains: If you really want to continue game, go ahead and sort things out. Or just let time do the healing.
Is it something I want to continue, though? That question isn't so straightforward. Two months ago I decided to just DGAF and perform a unilateral time out. New inputs haven't really changed my decision. But it bears remembering that any excision made has repercussions on the surroundings it was extracted from. No one lives in a vacuum.
Notes to future self:
The need for control over one's image is a pernicious one, since attempts to micromanage have a terrible return on investment, and one is trying to control something ultimately out of one's control. No amount of "good morning beautifuls" can paper over (what appears to be) a lack of self-compassion.
Be kind to everyone, for we're all fighting their own battles. But first, be kind to yourself.
Forgive, always forgive. We will hurt one another, for to stumble is to be human.
Assume good intentions, always, for any other way is too depressing.
The ego is, and always will be the enemy. So what if you suck at something? By daring you're ahead of everyone too timid to leave the sidelines (related note : play more dance dance revolution, those reading feel free to jio me and my two left feet)
Everybody talks. But not everyone shares your inclination towards forthrightness. Even if you're a avoidant wimp when it comes to some issues. DEAL WITH IT.
People care more than they let on. But about what, that's for them to know.