Rejection Reruns
Today I emailed two people who in the distant past incurred major emotional trauma in my life. This damage wasn't necessarily their fault of course, but it leaves scars nonetheless. Those events are long past, and attempts at friendship have been attempted in the gulf stretching between now and then with varied measures of success.
One had been a true friend in years past, and now lives in the same area as my parents. I hope to visit her next time I head home. Having a friend in the home area would greatly alleviate the stress of actually staying with my family. Local escape valves and all. Additionally my father actually approved of this girl, which to this date has been a singular experience. So she's welcome for family dinners and dinner table sparring.
I'm afraid I've permanently soured things with the other. A mutual friend mentioned she is working on a very similar project at work to what I'm currently doing. I was hoping to at least exchange some techie information, possibly some good books or websites.
Emails went out this morning, and I'm already obsessively checking my email. Odds are neither will respond anytime soon, if at all. It's irritating how much you can value someone's approval of you despite clear differences and against personal self preservation. I find the idea of totally discarding someone from your life to be deeply depressing and don't do it lightly. You have to ask yourself "Am I worth a 2nd,3rd or 4th chance?" Do maturity and time play into this judgement, or do people just assume incompatibilities, recriminations and differences stand permenantly?
One had been a true friend in years past, and now lives in the same area as my parents. I hope to visit her next time I head home. Having a friend in the home area would greatly alleviate the stress of actually staying with my family. Local escape valves and all. Additionally my father actually approved of this girl, which to this date has been a singular experience. So she's welcome for family dinners and dinner table sparring.
I'm afraid I've permanently soured things with the other. A mutual friend mentioned she is working on a very similar project at work to what I'm currently doing. I was hoping to at least exchange some techie information, possibly some good books or websites.
Emails went out this morning, and I'm already obsessively checking my email. Odds are neither will respond anytime soon, if at all. It's irritating how much you can value someone's approval of you despite clear differences and against personal self preservation. I find the idea of totally discarding someone from your life to be deeply depressing and don't do it lightly. You have to ask yourself "Am I worth a 2nd,3rd or 4th chance?" Do maturity and time play into this judgement, or do people just assume incompatibilities, recriminations and differences stand permenantly?