pain and discrimination
I remember... going to a memorial service... in 1985?... for a college friend, John, who died of AIDS... nobody could see him, his parents denied him... his boyfriend could not go to the funeral... his parents flew the body back to Florida and closed the service to well-wishers... they were staunch Catholics and denied their son was ever gay...
I will not forget that... a large number of us spread the word... we had our own damned service... it was tragic that this happened, denying what their son was, denying his BF access... the memorial service was unexpectedly huge... friends, friends of friends, and friends of THOSE, showed up... so many speakers, offering up memories of his life...
perhaps that was formative for me.
anyhow, I have made a lot of posts about gay marriage. I don't actually give a fuck about gay marriage, as I tend to the libertarian wrt marriage as a civil institution; I believe that the government has no business imposing itself into something that is ultimately a private commitment made within the couple's relationship and chosen community.
but, nonetheless, the government has done so. and the economic burden placed on gay couples who cannot marry cannot be overstated. usually that is what I think about as I follow these proceedings. if the couple is not married, healthcare costs are prohibitive, even if one person works for a company willing to offer the benefit; the taxes alone are $14,000 annually. the New York Times published an analysis of this a year or so ago. the other scary burdens are visitation rights and EOL decisions, as well as inheritance rights - all in a bundle, basically "next of kin" rights. it's all well and good to say "you are the family I choose" but fat lotta good it does if the societal infrastructure is legally prevented from acknowledging that choice.
and then I read things like the trial transcripts and the findings of fact and see the pictures on the Castro and in LA and I remember my friend John who I didn't know THAT well and whose parents denied his BF access to him in hospital as he lay dying of the GAY DISEASE and who denied that he had AIDS in the first place becuase their son couldn't possibly be GAY and who denied attendance at the service to everyone, and I get mad. I just get mad. it's no longer an abstract about healthcare and kin rights and inconveniences, it's fucking with people's lives in the most basic way.
Prop 8 has been struck with a ruling so forceful I don't think even the current SCOTUS will overturn the bulk of it. (I sort of think they will flip the ruling that sexual orientation qualifies for a suspect class.) and you know? FUCK YOU all you fucking bigots and moral majority religious conservative assholes who have been planning on a political takeover of MY country since the early 80s. you can't die off soon enough, FUCK YOU! this is America and Equal Rights is enshrined in our culture no matter how upset that makes you. setting someone else as inferior based on innate characteristics that have nothing to do with the quality of their participation in society will always lose sooner or later. doing so in a way that causes so much pain, you are fucking evil, fuck you!!!
even the lolcat says fuck you!
"We would be more American on the day we permitted same-sex marriage than we were on the day before."
-David Blankenhorn, The Future of Marriage
...I wonder if John's parents are still alive. I bet Dale would know. I should mail her and ask.
I will not forget that... a large number of us spread the word... we had our own damned service... it was tragic that this happened, denying what their son was, denying his BF access... the memorial service was unexpectedly huge... friends, friends of friends, and friends of THOSE, showed up... so many speakers, offering up memories of his life...
perhaps that was formative for me.
anyhow, I have made a lot of posts about gay marriage. I don't actually give a fuck about gay marriage, as I tend to the libertarian wrt marriage as a civil institution; I believe that the government has no business imposing itself into something that is ultimately a private commitment made within the couple's relationship and chosen community.
but, nonetheless, the government has done so. and the economic burden placed on gay couples who cannot marry cannot be overstated. usually that is what I think about as I follow these proceedings. if the couple is not married, healthcare costs are prohibitive, even if one person works for a company willing to offer the benefit; the taxes alone are $14,000 annually. the New York Times published an analysis of this a year or so ago. the other scary burdens are visitation rights and EOL decisions, as well as inheritance rights - all in a bundle, basically "next of kin" rights. it's all well and good to say "you are the family I choose" but fat lotta good it does if the societal infrastructure is legally prevented from acknowledging that choice.
and then I read things like the trial transcripts and the findings of fact and see the pictures on the Castro and in LA and I remember my friend John who I didn't know THAT well and whose parents denied his BF access to him in hospital as he lay dying of the GAY DISEASE and who denied that he had AIDS in the first place becuase their son couldn't possibly be GAY and who denied attendance at the service to everyone, and I get mad. I just get mad. it's no longer an abstract about healthcare and kin rights and inconveniences, it's fucking with people's lives in the most basic way.
Prop 8 has been struck with a ruling so forceful I don't think even the current SCOTUS will overturn the bulk of it. (I sort of think they will flip the ruling that sexual orientation qualifies for a suspect class.) and you know? FUCK YOU all you fucking bigots and moral majority religious conservative assholes who have been planning on a political takeover of MY country since the early 80s. you can't die off soon enough, FUCK YOU! this is America and Equal Rights is enshrined in our culture no matter how upset that makes you. setting someone else as inferior based on innate characteristics that have nothing to do with the quality of their participation in society will always lose sooner or later. doing so in a way that causes so much pain, you are fucking evil, fuck you!!!
even the lolcat says fuck you!
"We would be more American on the day we permitted same-sex marriage than we were on the day before."
-David Blankenhorn, The Future of Marriage
...I wonder if John's parents are still alive. I bet Dale would know. I should mail her and ask.