questions regarding friendships.
Hi there.
Life update:
Age: 27
Relationship status: if it were a dead body poorly buried there would probably be nothing but bones left.
mental status: Did a stupid thing and stopped taking my meds for no... real reason. Heard something about the efficacy of SSRIs going down, was curious if I had experienced the placebo effect. Turns out I doubt that... will detail at some point.
habitat: live in my parents' basement still.
weight: deathfat
social: have one friend. See her once every six months or so, talk maybe once per month. Often feels like a more one-sided friendship because I'm frequently the one trying to to talk with her.
No more friends from high school.
Haven't gchatted with Pat since ... who knows? This computer sucks, I just spent five minutes trying to find out when we last talked and it freaking wouldn't let me search in Gmail. Whaat? I have decided not to bother messaging him unless he contacts me first.
animals: Rogue is well, Leo is a macaw who will probably outlive me. Sometimes she adores me and sometimes she tries to take my finger off... so it goes well. I miss Bari. It hurts the most when I realize I haven't thought about him in a while. As though that will make any difference. k
Family: Brother and fam lived with us for a while. but they randomly and rather rudely moved out and down to Florida a month early. Miss the kids. Glad their dog is staying with us until they find a permanent residence. He's snuggly. SHH, don't tell his dad he sometimes sleeps on my bed. bit more of a snuggler than Rogue.
Employment: fully employed at a job I like. no raise yet, can't afford to live alone. Parents want to move to Florida so am saving up so I don't have to go with them.
Bank account: mildly in debt. Watch those Amazon rewards credit cards: they are a bit addictive.
Grandparents: None. Lost Gram this fall. Doesn't hurt because she was wasting away for so many years... Alzheimer's. Not pleasant. A few days before she passed all she could say was "I love you." She never forgot that she loved us, even when her brain was destroyed.
So... not all bad. But nothing awesome.
anyway, what brings me to LJ is extreme confusion and frustration:
I have an old friend from high school. She is married now and just had a baby. I attended her wedding. Helped move her into her new house, and attended her baby shower. We don't chat except on facebook. No big deal, normal part of living. I know she with some frequeny visits her family who live not three miles from me, know she knows I live nearby and doesn't ask if I want to hang out. Again, no big deal. I don't blame her, and it truthfully does not bother me (well, not until I stopped taking my meds)
HOWEVER.
Two days ago she was in town for an event. She texts me to see if I'm at the thing she's at. I'm not but I am nearby. I say I'd love to see her and meet her new baby, just name the time. She never texts back. Two days later and still nothing.
So, the options are:
* she forgot completely despite my coupla texts.. this could be because she got busy and distracted, but for three days
* she decided she didn't want to see me afterall because I was too desperate? And it's easier for her to say nothing.
* ?????? an evil plot to make me feel even more worthless?
I just do not understand.
Life update:
Age: 27
Relationship status: if it were a dead body poorly buried there would probably be nothing but bones left.
mental status: Did a stupid thing and stopped taking my meds for no... real reason. Heard something about the efficacy of SSRIs going down, was curious if I had experienced the placebo effect. Turns out I doubt that... will detail at some point.
habitat: live in my parents' basement still.
weight: deathfat
social: have one friend. See her once every six months or so, talk maybe once per month. Often feels like a more one-sided friendship because I'm frequently the one trying to to talk with her.
No more friends from high school.
Haven't gchatted with Pat since ... who knows? This computer sucks, I just spent five minutes trying to find out when we last talked and it freaking wouldn't let me search in Gmail. Whaat? I have decided not to bother messaging him unless he contacts me first.
animals: Rogue is well, Leo is a macaw who will probably outlive me. Sometimes she adores me and sometimes she tries to take my finger off... so it goes well. I miss Bari. It hurts the most when I realize I haven't thought about him in a while. As though that will make any difference. k
Family: Brother and fam lived with us for a while. but they randomly and rather rudely moved out and down to Florida a month early. Miss the kids. Glad their dog is staying with us until they find a permanent residence. He's snuggly. SHH, don't tell his dad he sometimes sleeps on my bed. bit more of a snuggler than Rogue.
Employment: fully employed at a job I like. no raise yet, can't afford to live alone. Parents want to move to Florida so am saving up so I don't have to go with them.
Bank account: mildly in debt. Watch those Amazon rewards credit cards: they are a bit addictive.
Grandparents: None. Lost Gram this fall. Doesn't hurt because she was wasting away for so many years... Alzheimer's. Not pleasant. A few days before she passed all she could say was "I love you." She never forgot that she loved us, even when her brain was destroyed.
So... not all bad. But nothing awesome.
anyway, what brings me to LJ is extreme confusion and frustration:
I have an old friend from high school. She is married now and just had a baby. I attended her wedding. Helped move her into her new house, and attended her baby shower. We don't chat except on facebook. No big deal, normal part of living. I know she with some frequeny visits her family who live not three miles from me, know she knows I live nearby and doesn't ask if I want to hang out. Again, no big deal. I don't blame her, and it truthfully does not bother me (well, not until I stopped taking my meds)
HOWEVER.
Two days ago she was in town for an event. She texts me to see if I'm at the thing she's at. I'm not but I am nearby. I say I'd love to see her and meet her new baby, just name the time. She never texts back. Two days later and still nothing.
So, the options are:
* she forgot completely despite my coupla texts.. this could be because she got busy and distracted, but for three days
* she decided she didn't want to see me afterall because I was too desperate? And it's easier for her to say nothing.
* ?????? an evil plot to make me feel even more worthless?
I just do not understand.