monster
I know, from science, that we only really experience about 5% or so of what our senses take in. I've always used this knowledge to help me understand other people, and when they say "I know what I saw" Really, they didn't. or "I know what I've heard." but, really, they didn't.
You see, your brain can't really cope with all that data, so it just gets parsed down to about 5% of data, and from that, your brain kinda builds a workable reality around it.
This has been shown time and time again to be true.
However.. what if that is.. Me?
What if I am the person who is deluded? What if I am a person who Thinks He is one way, but is really the other? Maybe I am wrong about what I see in others, or around me?
What if I am that monster that I am purported to be?
Am I this thoughtless, self-centered creature who doesn't even realize his actions or inaction is destroying those around him? Am I so arrogant and unfeeling that I am responsible for pushing friends away?
Am I so lost and forgetful that I don't remember things?
Experience is subjective. Memory too. It all gets viewed through this Lens of our past experiences, and what we "see" may not be what is really happening.
I am worried that there is indeed something wrong with me. I've been told I've done a great many thoughtless things and have hurt those around me. It can be true, right? Is true?
Am I that monster?
Monster may be too harsh of a moniker, some would think, but from what I've been told, no other word really fits. I'm heartbroken to think that I made others feel this way, that I am responsible.
Am I?
There is no reason I am not. I need help. I am going to seek help and see what is wrong with me, and atone.
It's scary to think I am so unaware of what I have said and done.
I need help.
-Josh
You see, your brain can't really cope with all that data, so it just gets parsed down to about 5% of data, and from that, your brain kinda builds a workable reality around it.
This has been shown time and time again to be true.
However.. what if that is.. Me?
What if I am the person who is deluded? What if I am a person who Thinks He is one way, but is really the other? Maybe I am wrong about what I see in others, or around me?
What if I am that monster that I am purported to be?
Am I this thoughtless, self-centered creature who doesn't even realize his actions or inaction is destroying those around him? Am I so arrogant and unfeeling that I am responsible for pushing friends away?
Am I so lost and forgetful that I don't remember things?
Experience is subjective. Memory too. It all gets viewed through this Lens of our past experiences, and what we "see" may not be what is really happening.
I am worried that there is indeed something wrong with me. I've been told I've done a great many thoughtless things and have hurt those around me. It can be true, right? Is true?
Am I that monster?
Monster may be too harsh of a moniker, some would think, but from what I've been told, no other word really fits. I'm heartbroken to think that I made others feel this way, that I am responsible.
Am I?
There is no reason I am not. I need help. I am going to seek help and see what is wrong with me, and atone.
It's scary to think I am so unaware of what I have said and done.
I need help.
-Josh