(no subject)

[drampian]

i think i betrayed a friend tonight
someone who has never let me down or ever even gotten on my nerves, which is something i can say of very very few people ...less than 4.

i feel awful
just awful
and im sure she thinks that i dont care, or that all i care about is that she's not mad at me.
but thats not it i do care, i just made an awful decision
and though she says she's forgiven me, i havent forgiven myself.
and theres chris...God

FUCK
IM SUCH A FUCKING DUMB-ASS
it just icing on a cake of bad choices ive been making lately.

RICHARD III, wasnt nearly as good as the recital was. (thoughim comparing apples to oranges)

i cant even say how sick this makes me, i stink,, im the shitiest friend there is. FUCK MAN
HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YOU.

MY JUDGEMENT HAS BEEN SHIT LATELY

THOSE ASSHOLE THEATRE PEOPLE DONT MEAN MORE TO ME THAN YOU, THEY DONT EVEN FUCKIN LIKE ME

I dont KNOW them,i KNOW and LOVE you

im sorry

im sorry that im an idiot

all i wanna do is hurt myself right now

i should fucking rot in hell

for my fuckin bullshit

im a peice of shit fuckhead.

im soo sorry.

i dont think i'll be able to look you in the eye from now on

thanks for being nice to me

fuckin hell
theres no way to make it up or to make it better, to quell any hurt, i just hate my self right now.

thanks for not hating as much as you should
OMG what the fuck have i done.

i hope hat one day we can laugh at this

but i fucking betray you... and i should be fuckin stabbed. im such a shithead

i didnt think deep or hard enough
about what matters most

you two matter most

why do i have to make mistakes like this...im gonna lose all my friends and die alone with cats

i wanna die now...i wanna die tonight while i sleep
so i dont have to face you tomorrow, because now im worthless

im dirty and disgusting and thank you for outting up with my feeble apology regina.

i hate myself now more than ever. im an idiot im sorry

reg and chris-- i owe you two more than i could ever give and now im even in more debt.
i totally understand if you hate me. but thats not my concern just know that i hate myself too,becuase i hurt you and iknow how that feels, and im sorry
oh gosh im sooo fucking sorry
fuck
i feel like im gonna through up
fuck fuck fuck
ive ruined everything now
you fucking ruined everything now you fuckin asshole!