DUET 8: crissytje and nerdzeword
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. All fics posted at this community were written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Title: Not Everything Is What It Seems
Author: crissytje
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7993
Summary: And that’s how their subtle game of Truth or Dare began, though neither of them really consciously realized it.
Warnings: None
Author's Note(s): I have quoted from the books. See end notes to see which passages. I tried to incorporate all of the prompts though I took some liberties with the second one. I hope you like it (they turned out to be less happy and innocent than planned). I also wanted to thank Ningloreth for being so kind as to beta for me at such a short notice and at the last moment. Thank you so much! I’m very grateful. I take full responsibility for any other noticed mistakes.
Dare
5 August 1990
They met on one of his escapades beyond the borders of the forest surrounding the Manor. He was bored and running away from his ballroom lessons. And she was visiting her maternal grandparents for a month in the nearby town, like she did every year.
He stumbled upon her, sitting in a garden reading a book with her back against a big oak tree. He had never seen her before, partly because he had only recently been allowed to leave the Manor on his own but mostly because she was a Muggle. His lips curled into a sneer at that thought. His father had told him many things about these dirty Muggles. About how they were uncivilized, uneducated and primitive savages and how beneath him they were. Admittedly most people were beneath him, even fellow wizards and witches, for the Malfoys were like royalty but Muggles were even more beneath him, like Earth and Heaven.
He took a closer look at her. She looked neater than he would have expected of a Muggle. Certainly that bush of brown curly hair on her head could pass for a bird's nest but the air she exuded was that of an elegant Lady. He could certainly see his mother in her with her back straight against the tree and the confident expression on her face when she moved her hand gracefully to turn over a page. He shook his head. What was he thinking? No pure-blood witch would ever be caught sitting cross legged on the ground. His eyes followed her hand and focused on the book and he was shocked. “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” by C. S. Lewis. The book that she was reading was written by a wizard. He knew because they had the same book in their own private Library. He was even more surprised that she could actually read. Before he knew it, the words slipped out of his mouth. Later he’d blame his brief lack of perfect composure on the surprise of encountering his very first Muggle.
***
She heard him before she saw him out of the corner of her eye. The intruder, of around her age, probably thought he had been discreet and had stealthily made his way closer to her. Of course she had noticed him even though she had purposely ignored him. She had tried to focus on her book but the amount of noise he was making could probably wake up a bear in hibernation. It almost made her huff in irritation. She waited a few moments for him to make himself known while still pretending to keep reading her book. Even though she had been expecting it, his voice startled her.
“You can read…” He breathed, incredulously, and she could feel annoyance welling up inside of her. She wanted very much to snap back at the boy, “Of course I can,” but years of reprimands from her mother had taught her some self-control, however thin, and to show good manners around strangers. And so she settled for a roll of her eyes and turned her head to address him - more sharply than intended.
“What made you think I can’t read? Can’t you read?”
He looked affronted.
“Of course I can, but I am-”
She wondered what he was going to say. Was he about to say that he was better than her? That miffed her even more.
“Why else would you be surprised that I could read?” Her eyes narrowed at him. “I am just as good as you are.”
For a moment he looked caught off guard, as if not used to someone going against him. But she could see on his face the moment his attitude changed. His eyes turned from surprised to indignant to furious and his expression hardened at her words as if she had just insulted him gravely. A cold smile crossed his lips.
“You certainly don’t look very clever.”
She was sure she heard something snap inside of her. Probably the last bit of restraint that held her patience and temper in check. He was staring arrogantly down at her so she got up to answer him face to face.
“You have nothing to base that on. I am very clever, I will have you know. I’m probably more clever than you are!”
“That’s not possible. I am most certainly more superior than a stupid Muggle like you.”
She didn’t know what a Muggle was but she was sure it was an insult, based on the disgust on his face when he spat the word out. If he thought she would back down just because he called her a bad name then he was even more of a dimwit than he looked.
“How mature… resorting to name calling when you can’t talk your way skillfully through something.” She chose to ignore the fact that she had called him a dimwit in her mind only a few seconds ago.
“I’m only lowering myself to your simpleton level so you can understand the insults I throw at you. It wouldn’t be fun if you didn’t even realize I was insulting you. Or perhaps I got infected by the air an idiot like you is breathing out. ”
She stared at him incredulously. Was this boy serious? What was his problem? She snapped at him angrily: “Nobody told you to breath in this ‘idiotic’ air. Nobody told you to even be here. In fact you are actually trespassing on private ground. You shouldn’t even be here!”
“Nobody gets to tell me what to do. I do whatever I want, for I am a Malfoy.” He pronounced it smugly, as if it explained everything. “Besides, this tiny hovel and its garden is most probably our property any way.” He gave the small cottage of her grandparents a condescending look. “Not that it’s worth much,” he then added with a cold sneer.
She bristled, furiously. The nerve of that guy… Where did he get off being so arrogant and pompous? She gave him an icy glare but he looked completely unfazed. Just when she was about to snarl at him, her stomach growled. They both looked up at each other in surprise. Her cheeks lit up in mortification even though it wasn’t that embarrassing. His face lit up with the tiniest evil grin and she just knew he was about to mock her, when his own stomach rumbled. He scowled at her accusingly as if she were the cause. It made her sniff at him contemptuously. She turned her back on him and started walking away from him.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going!” She heard him yell at her in response. “I didn’t say you could leave yet. How dare you walk away from me!”
She stopped in her tracks to give him a cold look over her shoulder. “I am getting myself something to eat. Not that that’s any of your business.”
“Then I order you to give me something too,” he answered back haughtily.
She threw him a look of disbelief. “I am not your servant! Get it yourself. Besides I’m getting some of our apples from our apple orchard.” She made sure to stress the ‘our’ part.
“They’re not your apples if the orchard is on our land.”
She threw him a dirty look but then an idea formed in her mind. “Fine. Come and get your apples then.” A wicked smile pulled at the corner of her lips. “Unless you’re too afraid to get them yourself. Who knew what a sissy you were.” The grin on her face widened. “Come on, I dare you!” She laughed devilishly and turned her back on him again to run to the apple orchard.
A few moments later they were both climbing the biggest apple tree in the orchard. Each was taunting the other to climb even higher, and higher, until it became a competition to see who would dare to climb the highest.
***
Later when Draco made his way back to the Manor fully sated with sweet, juicy apples he wondered why he had willingly spent so much of his time with that weirdly feisty Muggle. He deduced that he was probably bored and that she was something different from what he was used to. Usually people didn’t go against him but followed his orders obediently. But she would give as good as she got and that had piqued his interest. Admittedly at first he was very annoyed with her but the rivalry between them really set him on fire. He felt a rush of excitement just thinking about seeing her again. If only she wasn’t a Muggle, he mused. But what if he just saw her as a new toy to play with. That way he could justify spending more time with her even though she was a Muggle. And when he got tired of her, he could just throw her away.
Truth
9 August 1990
They were sitting next to each other, each reading their own book when she suddenly closed hers and turned towards him.
“What’s your favorite color?”
She could see she had startled him with her question.
“What brought this up?” he asked.
“Just curious.” She shrugged. “So what is it?”
She could see his brows knitting pensively.
“It’s green,” he finally answered
“Oh really…”
“Why are you sounding so surprised?”
“Euh… For no reason.”
He raised his brows skeptically but let the matter go, to focus back on his book.
“I actually expected it to be yellow,” she couldn’t help but blurt out.
He turned to face her once more.
“And why is that?”
“It’s just that I’ve noticed that every time we have met, you have been wearing or carrying something yellow with you. Last week you were wearing a yellow shirt, Monday you were wearing yellow socks, yesterday the handkerchief you lent me was yellow as well, and today-”
“It’s just a coincidence,” he interrupted her, his cheeks tinted red with embarrassment at having been caught lying.
She opened her mouth to protest but he didn’t let her.
“I like green. I have to… I like green, alright?” His tone was hard and warned her to drop it, and so she did, begrudgingly, for now, though she didn’t understand why it was such a big deal.
After a few minutes of watching him read in silence, she spoke up again.
“Do you have any siblings?”
He slowly pulled his eyes away from his book again to look at her.
“I’m an only child.” His voice was brusque and cold but his eyes held hints of sadness and regret in them.
“Me too. Though I wish I wasn’t.” She smiled at him wistfully. “My mother only wanted one child. They’re both dentists you see. So they’re always very busy and my mother wasn’t sure she could handle more than one child.”
She knew she was probably rambling because she could see him furrow his brow for a brief moment. But she was really hoping he would engage her more actively in conversation. Ever since their meeting, each time they'd met, they'd only conversed whenever he had felt like talking to her. Or, more like, arrogantly insulting her or getting into a discussion with her about something they disagreed on. She didn’t even know why she was trying so hard. If only he wasn’t so challenging to her.
“At first I was happy to be an only child because it meant that I wouldn’t have to share any of my stuff. But when I grew older, the loneliness started seeping in and I wished I had had a sibling to talk to and play with and…” A playful grin quirked her lips. “To blame everything on.” She chuckled. “I bet you would blame everything on someone else too.” She smirked at him. “Didn’t you want siblings?”
“No,” was all he said to her, with a blank look on his face.
“Oh…” She waited for him to say something more while trying to gauge his expression but the silence between them was deafening. She didn’t know what else to do so she opened up her book and tried to concentrate on reading. When he finally spoke up again, she was so surprised she almost dropped her book.
“My mother wanted to have more than one child.” He paused and she waited with bated breath for him to continue. “They tried many times but…” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed. “I am the only one who made it alive.” He sighed while closing his book. “So, what other questions do you have for me?”
“Huh?” She stared at him, dumbfounded. She hadn’t yet processed what he had just told her.
“You aren’t going to let me read in peace any way so you might as well ask them.”
Dare
16 August 1990
“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
He could see she was hiding something behind her back.
“Why?” he asked suspiciously. “What are you hiding from me?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t you trust me?” she replied in a huff.
He gave her a sceptical look. “Tell me what it is first.”
“Goodness, it’s a surprise. I promise it’s nothing bad.” She sighed audibly.
His gaze pierced her as he tried to decide whether to trust her or not.
She clicked her tongue impatiently. “For Heaven's sake Draco, you’re being paranoid. Just do it, alright! Or are you too afraid to trust me?”
His eye twitched slightly in annoyance at her bossy taunt but he did what she had asked anyway. The moment he closed his eyes and held out his hands, he could hear rustling and then something soft and slightly warm dropped into his hands. He opened his eyes to see what it was. Lying in his hands was a small apple pie.
“Go on.” She smiled at him. “Take a bite.” She gestured at it. “It’s freshly made by my grandmother. I helped her make them.”
She noticed his hesitation and must have seen the way he was eying it dubiously because she put her hands on her hips and frowned at him.
“It’s really good you know? I am a very good cook!”
The more he delayed tasting it, the more her displeasure showed. She probably thought he didn’t trust her. But it wasn't that he didn’t trust her. It was just that he'd never eaten anything Muggle before. Would he be able to tolerate something Muggle? Was it safe for him to taste it or would he get poisoned by it? Would he turn into a Muggle himself by eating it? Was it even clean? Would it taste like dirt? It all seemed so silly but it still worried him.
The heated scowl on her face couldn’t hide the hurt and offended look in her eyes. The trembling of her hand when she lifted it to take her gift back tugged painfully at his heartstrings. He pulled the pie out of her reach, took a deep breath to calm his nerves, and dragged the piece of Muggle food towards his mouth.
Truth or Dare
19 August 1990
They were sitting at the gate of an old abandoned castle they had climbed to one afternoon. She had never been there before and had never heard of the fortress but Draco had seemed to know all about its history.
“Then one day, the new wife of the Count was strolling the corridor alone at night when suddenly a cold hand touched her out of nowhere. At first she thought it was her husband but when she heard a pitiful voice wailing…”
“Stop!” she groaned. “I don’t want to hear anymore.” Just imagining it gave her the chills.
“I didn’t know you were such a scaredy-cat,” he chuckled, an amused smirk on his lips.
“I’m not a scaredy-cat,” she exclaimed in outrage.
“Then do you want to come back tonight and prove it?” he dared her.
“What?” She stared at him in shock.
“Or are you perhaps afraid of ghosts?” he taunted slyly.
“I’m not afraid!” she protested but she sounded weaker than she had hoped.
He grinned smugly at her obvious lie. He was right of course. Secretly she was freaking out but she would never let him know that. She would never live that down.
“I’m just afraid you won’t succeed in getting out of your house tonight. I wouldn’t want to get you into serious trouble. Perhaps better not?” she tried to reason with him.
He scoffed at her. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll be waiting at our tree. It’s you I’m worried about.”
When she realized there was no way of talking him out of this without sounding like a chicken, the reality of what she would have to do dawned on her. Dread welled up in her at the prospect of visiting a dark, presumably haunted castle in the middle of the night. She swallowed hard and tried to pull herself together. It was just a stupid castle. There was nothing to be afraid of. There were no such things as ghosts. Or so she hoped… She would not let him have his fun with her.
“So will I! You better make sure you're there!” she proclaimed bravely.
“Good, it’s a deal then! And don’t worry,” he replied with a mischievous smile. “I will protect you!”
He had better not try something funny. She knew that smile on his face all too well.
Truth
23 August 1990
“You wouldn’t understand, a simple Muggle like you,” he growled at her.
She looked like he had just slapped her in the face.
“You big jerk. I will not stand here and put up with being yelled at. I’m not some punching-bag you can use at your convenience.” She glared at him fiercely.
“Then don’t ask questions if you don’t want to be yelled at.” His face grew red with anger.
She shoved him hard in the chest. “I was worried, you arse-hole. I care about you.”
“Care about me...” He echoed her words mockingly and a cold smile crossed his lips. “Nobody told you to care about me. I certainly didn’t.”
“You…” She clenched her fist tightly. “You’re right. Sorry for doing something so ridiculous. That’s a mistake I won’t make twice.” She turned on her heels and started to leave.
He had never heard a tone this icy from her before. His heart skipped a beat.
“Wait…” he called out, in a strained voice. “Hermione…please wait…”
She wavered midstep but started walking away despite his pleas.
He ran after her and grabbed her arm to stop her. She gave him a dirty look.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I just…” he muttered, with a troubled look on his face. He had learned from an early age that sharing his emotions openly was dangerous. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t who I was. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He looked at her apologetically.
“You hurt me.”
“I know.”
“A lot.”
“I know.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know.”
Dare
30 August 1990
It was the day before she had to leave for Beaconsfield again, where she lived with her parents. School was starting next week and she would need some time to prepare for it. They had agreed to meet one last time. Neither one of them really wanted to say goodbye to the other. They had agreed to keep in touch some way or other. She had suggested using the mail to send letters but he had rejected that idea without explaining why. He had even looked at her funny when she had brought it up again. When he had started mumbling about owls, she had gaped at him but he had had assured her she’d understand in time. She wondered if it was some weird aristocratic thing.
He was waiting for her at their usual spot by the oak tree.
“Here, cover your eyes with this.” He thrust a blue silk scarf at her.
“Why?” She eyed it suspiciously.
He shook the scarf impatiently to signal for her to take it. “Come on! Just do it! I have a surprise waiting for you.”
She hesitated. What was he planning? She wasn’t exactly a fan of surprises.
“I don’t trust you. You’re up to something aren’t you?”
He pouted at her words in mock-hurt.
“You wound me. I wouldn’t dare.”
She scoffed at him. “Like that night at the castle when you said you weren’t planning something.”
He laughed sheepishly in response. “You got me there. But this time I promise you’ll like it. Besides, you got me back when you pretended you were really in danger. You still haven’t given me back the heartbeats I’d wasted on you.” He grinned cheekily.
Despite herself she smiled at him. “Fine. But I will kill you if you dare to do something bad to me,” she threatened.
***
In the end she was glad that she had trusted him. He led her to a small, hidden stream in the forest and there he showed her the picnic-basket he had brought for them. She beamed at him happily and he shrugged with a smirk, as if it wasn’t a big deal. He apologized again for the way he had acted the week before and she laughed it off. After that they talked about their hopes and their dreams. He told her he wanted to get into a famous boarding school, from which both of his parents had graduated. She had never heard of Hogwarts before but he didn’t seem keen on indulging her curiosity and since, for some reason, he had chosen to open up to her, she reluctantly dropped it.
“I’ll become their best student yet!” he swore, and she laughed at his enthusiasm.
They talked about his father as well. He told her that he was afraid of disappointing his father and that he wanted to make him proud. That he didn’t really like his father but respected him for all his accomplishments.
“I bet you must have some wonderful memories of him, too,” she said, softly.
“What do you mean?” He looked at her questioningly.
“Because, when you talk about him, you have a wishful look on your face.”
For a split second she saw wonder in his eyes before he stared off into the distance as if thinking about the past.
After finishing all the food, they lay down on the blanket and he fell asleep not long after. In his sleep he wrapped his arms around her and she returned his embrace without thinking.
He was a heavy sleeper, which was surprising since he was always somewhat on guard around her. It had improved with time of course, but she had always sensed a certain barrier between them. She watched him sleep, lying in her arms. He looked every bit the aristocrat with his long, straight nose, his perfect eyebrows and his broad mouth. But with his sharp eyes closed, his face seemed softer.
She didn’t think she had ever shared a moment like this with anyone before.
Truth
3 August 1991
The first thing she did when she saw him again was throw her arms around his neck and hug him.
“I got a letter,” she said grinning as she waved the letter in his face.
Her eyes were lit with excitement and he was sure he had never seen her smile as wide as she was smiling right now. He tried to ask her what letter she was talking about but she hugged him tighter, making him gasp.
“Merlin, Hermione, let me go! Are you trying to strangle me?” He grimaced, playfully. “I’m regretting meeting you already today.” The corner of his lips curled up ever-so-slightly.
She laughed at his protestations but didn’t let him go.
The truth was he had missed her a lot. Writing letters just wasn’t the same as hearing her voice. The last few weeks had gone by ever so slowly while he had waited for her to come back. He couldn’t believe it had already been a year since the last time he had seen her. She still smelled the same and he was savoring the soft touch of her skin.
“I’m so happy Draco! I got accepted to Hogwarts!” she squealed.
His eyes widened in astonishment. But she didn’t notice and continued to babble, overjoyed.
“Did you get accepted as well? You wanted to go, right? I still can’t believe I’m a witch! You’re a wizard, right? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, silly of me, you probably couldn’t. I’m so excited, everything is so new but I’m learning quickly! We can finally be together, Draco! I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you by letter but I wanted to tell you in person. Are you cross I didn’t?”
When he didn’t answer her questions, she looked at him, worried. “Draco?”
He answered her by wrapping his arms around her waist and tugging her into a tight embrace. He’d enjoy this for now and worry about his father later.
Dare
23 August 1991
“This isn’t going to work! I’m never going to be able to do it! My feet weren’t made for dancing,” she groaned. It was hopeless, she just couldn’t seem to stop tripping over her own feet and stepping on his.
“Then perhaps you should give up.”
She was appalled. Although she was feeling sorry for herself, and wanted to stop, she had still hoped that he would say something encouraging to her.
“If I’m the only one who believes in you and thinks you can do it, it certainly isn’t going to work. If you don’t want to do it then it doesn’t matter what I think. You should give up before you waste any more of our time.”
His words were harsh and awkward but they were filled with confidence in her and that shook her out of her funk. He was right. She needed to have more faith in herself.
“No! Let’s try again. There is no way I’m going to give up!”
His expression softened, and he took her hand gently back in his.
***
“You’re far too careless,” he whispered huskily. “Do you have any idea how you are looking at me?”
She sucked in a breath as he pulled on her waist. Her body moved willingly. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest as he stared down into her eyes and laid his other hand on her cheek. It set her cheek on fire and she shuddered at the contact. He moved his face closer but halted, his mouth poised above hers. She could feel his hot breath tickling her lips and it made her own breath hitch and her eyes widen. His fingers slipped under her camisole to stroke her bare flesh and it sent a shiver up her spine.
Suddenly a bright red spell skimmed his shoulder, barely missing it. He released her abruptly and when his sharp gaze focused on something behind her, his expression darkened. She turned around confused by what had just happened, but the sight she saw froze her blood. If looks could kill, she would be dead by now. She had never seen so much blind hatred and anger as she was seeing in the eyes of an older version of Draco, rushing towards them with a cane in his hand aimed at her. She stared at him numbly but she felt Draco pulling her behind him as he steeled himself to face the storm that was coming their way.
***
“You will walk away from my son and you will never talk to him again, you miserable filth.”
Her cheeks flushed in anger. “I will do no such thing! I like your son and I want to be with him!”
“You will leave him alone or I will make you!” His expression was one of cold fury.
She glared back at Draco’s father defiantly, daring him to do his worst but not thinking he would really do it. Her fiery eyes met his dead cold stare. When she saw him sneer at her maliciously she took a step backwards. When he lifted his wand and pointed it at her she flinched. When he opened his mouth, her eyes widened.
“Obliviate!”
***
Lucius took a distressed Draco by the arm and roughly pulled him up the hill in the direction of Malfoy Manor.
Draco was too shocked to put up a fight. She wouldn’t remember him now. Would not remember them or the time they had spent together. He had known he couldn't be friends with her at Hogwarts openly, but he'd hoped it might be possible secretly. But that was denied to him. His father had made sure that it would never happen now. A burst of anger raced through his body. He turned his head to glare at his father. How dare he do that to him! How dare he take away something that was his! Something that made him happy. And didn't his father always say that he should take anything that he wanted to have?
He saw his father furiously raging at him but he could barely hear him above the violent ringing in his ears.
“… dirty Mudblood… disgrace to your family… everything that I taught you… stole your magic… stay away… I will hurt … do you understand, Draco?”
Draco blinked, confused. It wouldn’t do him any good to let it show that he hadn’t caught what his father wanted him to understand. It didn’t matter though. He didn’t want to understand. His anger was now hot and boiling.
“What if I don’t understand?” He sneered. He had never opposed his father directly before. He had never dared to before. But he had been so close to kissing her. And even that had been denied to him.
That earned him a slap in the face. He almost flinched. But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen it coming.
“Then I will hurt you. I will hurt you so badly you will wish you had never thought of defying me,” his father spat back at him.
Draco’s face was expressionless. A mask of indifference hid the rage. “So you will hurt me.” He shrugged. He had never been this reckless before. He knew his coolness would infuriate his father even more but he didn’t care. He was beyond any reason now.
His father narrowed his eyes calculatingly. His own mask of practised calm came over his face. His voice was a low whisper, devoid of all emotion but deadly in its intent.
“I will hurt her. You can’t protect her. I will find a way to hurt her.”
“Hogwar-” Draco opened his mouth to protest but his father simply raised a finger to silence him.
“Hogwarts will not protect her. I am a member of the school’s Board of Governors. Don’t even think about finding her and getting friendly with her again. Not even in secret. There will be no secrets from me, Draco. Mark my words. I have eyes and ears everywhere. If I even hear a rumor of you being nice to her. I will get in, I will find her, I will hurt her and make her scream, I will cut her and make her bleed, but I will leave no mark and then I will erase her memory again so nobody will ever find out. So nobody will ever believe you. You know I am capable of it and you know I will do it. So you will stay away from her - do you understand?”
And for the first time since his defiance, Draco felt fear shivering through his body. He wanted to disobey his father and he wanted to make a stand. There was no way that he wanted to lose Hermione. But he was afraid. He could recognize the terrifying truth in his father’s words. His father would do what he threatened and his father would succeed.
Oh how he hated his father!
“Draco…” his father threatened. His patience was running out.
Draco nodded once, curtly, letting his father know he would agree to his terms, no matter how unwillingly. He would protect her.
Truth
1992-1993
“Why are you so mean to me? I never did anything to you.” Hermione confronted him, exasperated.
Because I have no choice.
His eyes narrowed at her and his lips curled venomously. “It’s what you deserve, you dirty Mudblood. You should have never been allowed to enter this school,” he spat at her.
Hurt flashed across her face and for a moment his sneer faltered but then it was back, even more cruel.
“If you’re that much more superior to me, then why do I have better grades than you do?” she snapped back.
“You probably stole your magic from some hapless, unsuspecting fool you met when you were young. That’s the only reason that a Mudblood like you could be so magical!”
If you did I was happy to give it to you.
She gasped indignantly.
He took a step back and turned from her, seemingly in disgust, but it took every bit of self-control he possessed not to reach out and touch her. “You better stay away from me before you steal my magic too!”
I want to be close to you too much.
She recoiled as though he had slapped her in the face, but then her eyes flashed with anger.
“Go to hell, Malfoy. I never stole anything from anyone. And you don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t do.” She pushed him to prove her point.
He turned on her angrily. This was too painful for him. He had to find a way to make her understand that he was dangerous for her. He grabbed her tender wrist and tightened his grip hard. It must have hurt because she was trying very hard not to wince. He pulled on her wrist to bring her closer to him and glared down at her. It made her body stiffen in response and she automatically took a step backwards but he followed her. Each time she backed up, he closed the gap between them until he finally got her up against the wall. One hand slammed next to her head as he loomed over her menacingly, his eyes stormy. She pushed at his chest with her free hand, trying to shove him away but he didn’t budge. He drew his face closer to hers and she started to protest but his cruel expression stopped the words in her mouth.
“I won’t repeat myself again, Granger. Stay the fuck away from me.” His voice was a low whisper that froze her on the spot and he could see her lips turning white from how hard she must have been biting them but she still glared daggers into him.
When I’m with you, it’s too hard to hold back my feelings.
He could feel his chest tighten and his heart aching at her closeness and he had to stop himself from leaning in even closer. It took everything he had to push himself off the wall and give her a final chilly glance before marching away.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
Dare
1993-1994
She slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster, daring him with her eyes to slap her back. She was so angry at him. How dare he make fun of Hagrid’s crying when it was his fault that Hagrid was devastated in the first place? It was all because he was stupid enough to insult Buckbeak and then pathetic enough to go running back to his father crying like a baby. It was bad enough that he always seemed to find a way to humiliate her but Hagrid never did anything to deserve this kind treatment.
Neither did I, a resentful voice in her head added. And that made her even angrier.
Hagrid might be only half human but he was still ten times more of a man than Malfoy would ever be. He was despicable! He was vile and such an arrogant, narcissistic bigot! And she was so sick of him trying to hurt the ones she cared about.
The slap must have been hard enough because Malfoy staggered. Her friends, and even his friends, all looked stunned but she didn’t care and lifted her hand again.
"Don't you dare call Hagrid pathetic, you foul -- you evil --"
"Hermione!" She heard Ron say weakly.
"Get off, Ron!" she yelled when he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back.
She pulled out her wand and looked him fiercely in the eye. Malfoy must have seen her fury because he stepped backward. She was daring him to attack her, daring him to fight back. Crabbe and Goyle looked to him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.
"C'mon," Malfoy muttered, not willing to take on her challenge. A moment later, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons.
Truth
1994-1995
Draco Malfoy was standing alone, leaning against a tree, when he saw the three of them coming his way. While on the outside he looked completely relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself watching the torture at the campsite, on the inside he was seething, and beside himself with worry. He knew where their tent was and so he knew where to stand to intercept them when they ran towards the danger instead of away from it. Typical Griffindors! Recklessly running toward danger thinking it’s a sign of bravery. It could get her killed some day.
When that good-for-nothing weaselhead ran his mouth off at him, he took the opportunity to try to send a subtle warning her way. He never once lost his cool, his well-regulated expression set to mockery and glee. But his inner turmoil and worry increased with every blast and every flash of green light. He should have known that they would defy his warning no matter what he told them.
"Hermione's a witch," he heard idiotic Potter snarl at him. Merlin, he was so stupid! Draco wanted to smash his face in for wasting precious time they didn’t have. Hermione needed to be taken to safety. They needed more incentive to keep her safe. He forced a malicious grin on his face and allowed more cruelty to come out of his mouth.
His heart jumped up in his throat when he heard a bang louder than anything he had heard so far coming from the other side of the trees. He looked briefly in that direction, to swallow the panic he could feel boiling up from deep within him. He wondered if the fear was obvious on his face, and he forced out a chuckle to calm down his racing heart.
When Hermione finally convinced the other two to walk away, he almost sighed in relief. Even the disgusted look she sent his way didn’t bother him as much as usual.
"Keep that big bushy head down, Granger." He sneered at her receding back. He was sure he hadn't completely kept the warning out of his tone.
Please be safe. Please…
***
Pansy Parkinson must have gaped at her as she walked by but he barely noticed, as he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Hermione was bewitching with her hair twisted up in an elegant chignon and long curls framing her face. The periwinkle-blue dress made her eyes shine even more than usual and fitted her perfectly. He had hardly seen her with her robes unbuttoned and was amazed how much she had matured from her eleven year old self to this elegant, alluring woman. To say that he was shocked was an understatement and he was aware his mouth was opening to say something, but nothing came out. What could he say?
You look breathtakingly beautiful.
I wish you were the one on my arm.
Hermione, I want…
Dare
1995-1996
He cornered her after Transformations when she had stayed behind to ask Professor Mcgonagall a question about the essay they needed to write. She had told Harry and Ron to go ahead without her since they had Divination next and she had Arithmancy.
“I know you lot are up to something. There’s no way you fools stayed obedient. Umbridge told me all about your plan to form some kind of a club. She thinks she has scared you off but I don’t believe that one bit.” He sneered maliciously.
“What are you talking about Malfoy? I have no idea what you are talking about,” she scoffed, feigning ignorance.
“You’re a bad liar, Granger. I don’t know what you are up to, I don’t know what the club is for, but I will find out. And you better not be there when I find out. Better still, you better stop whatever you’re doing before I find out.” He scowled at her.
“You’re paranoid, Malfoy. We’re not doing anything. All that inbreeding must have made your mind unstable.” She rolled her eyes.
“Fine. Have it your way. Laugh now while you still can. I will catch you eventually and when I do you won’t be laughing,” he threatened.
Her eyes flashed. She wondered if they were betraying her feelings. Alarm… Suspicion... Distrust... Worry... His sharp gaze went right through her. She closed her eyes once to blank them, and laughed.
“Do whatever you want, Malfoy. See if I care,” she mocked. “You’re pathetic if you think you can intimidate me this way. I’m not afraid of you.” She tried to look determined, even though she feared she couldn’t completely rid her face of the anxiety she was feeling.
“I dare you,” she taunted when she pushed her way passed him, without sparing him another look.
She never heard his painful whisper. She never saw the heartbreak in his eyes.
“Please be careful. Please don’t get caught.”
Truth
1996-1997
"Yeah, like you'd dare do magic out of school," Malfoy sneered at her. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
Tell me who did this because I will hurt anyone who dared to hurt you.
Dare
1997-1998
Her screams chilled him to the bone. If only there was something he could do to help her! He felt desperate and furious at the same time. All he wanted to do was take her far away and hide her to protect her. Why did she have to get caught? He was certain it was the fault of one of her imbecilic friends. He dug his nails into his hands to avoid doing something stupid like launching himself on top of his deranged aunt and trying to throttle her to death. It wouldn’t do him any good to get all of them killed. He felt like such a coward, unable to protect the one girl he cared about. He wanted to raise his wand but he wasn’t certain he’d be fast enough and he didn’t dare to risk his mother facing the consequences of his betrayal. She was the only one who really loved him. If only there was a way to protect both his mother and Hermione.
Truth
1998-1999
“Please…” The words were a painful whisper.
She locked her eyes with his, and pointed her wand at him, as he was begging her to.
“Legilimens.”
She felt his memories crash into her mind. It was incredible how many things she had missed seeing. The crushing weight of all his thoughts and emotions were overwhelming her. Especially his love for her. She had never known, had never suspected a thing. She saw him numbing her from the pain of his aunt’s Crucio, as much as he dared. She recognized his warning against Umbridge in the fifth year. She felt his fear for her when people were getting attacked on the campsite and he knew she would be rushing towards the danger instead of running away from it. She was hit with the intensity of his longing to be with her every single day for the past seven years and his determination to protect her. She gasped when she stumbled upon the memory of his father threatening to hurt her and she blanched when she realized his father had Obliviated her.
It was more than she could handle, and she pulled out of his mind abruptly. She was shaken up badly and it took a few moments for her to catch her breath. Shudders of disgust and horror went through her and she could feel bile rising up her throat. She tried to swallow it back down, together with the panic that she could feel soaring through her body. When she was finally able to pull herself together, she looked back up at him. She had never seen him so uncertain or so vulnerable before. Neither of them spoke for a moment. When she finally nodded her head once at him, she saw him exhale visibly, in relief. The tension in his shoulders eased when she handed back his wand. And as he aimed it at her, she tried not to flinch.
“Memento Iterum.”
Dare
18 June 2002
She had never liked Quidditch. She still didn’t but the Holyhead Harpies were playing against Puddlemere United and it was Ginny’s last game before she would retire. And so she was sitting there smiling, cheering and whooping together with her small group of friends. Suddenly she noticed how quiet it had become around her and that made her look round in confusion. Had she missed something? A squeeze on her hand made her look to the right and her eyes landed on the person sitting next to her. Draco’s eyes were on her and glinting with mischief. He gestured to a big screen with his head and smirked at her. Only then did she realize the reason for the sudden quietness around her. There on the big screen, on the kiss cam, were Draco and her. Big flashing words were popping in and out around their faces. KISS HER. KISS HER. She could hear people starting to shout the words aloud, and it only got louder and louder as more people joined in the rooting. Even her friends started to demand a kiss with smiles so big she thought they would split their face. She flushed red and burned up with embarrassment. Draco just kept smirking unashamedly.
“What’s wrong, Granger?” He grinned as he looked down at her.
The cheeky brat. She would most certainly punish him later.
“It’s just a kiss…” The bastard looked so pleased with himself. She wanted to slap that grin right off his face. Well, perhaps not in public.
His smile widened and he looked like the cat that got the cream. His hair fluttered on his forehead as his fingers gingerly brushed her cheek. His touch was warm and calming against her skin. She cursed him for having such a strong effect on her.
“I dare you…” he drawled, smugly.
Urg. He was so arrogant and so confident. She would have to show him and kiss that smirk right off his face. Decision finally made, she pulled him towards her roughly and drew his lips to hers. He looked surprised for a moment but recovered as soon as their lips touched. His mouth was warm and pushing against hers and she pushed just as hard back against his. She couldn’t help but open her mouth as their kiss deepened. Her hands were clinging tightly onto his shirt. His hands were tangled in her hair. When they finally pulled away from one another, after what felt like an eternity, they were both panting. He had a lingering look of longing in his eyes and she could feel a sweet, gentle smile forming on her lips.
THE END
End notes
Quotes were taken from
* Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 15.
* Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Chapter 9 and Chapter 23.
* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 6.
Memento Iterum means 'Return memory'.
Title: Not Everything Is What It Seems
Author: crissytje
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7993
Summary: And that’s how their subtle game of Truth or Dare began, though neither of them really consciously realized it.
Warnings: None
Author's Note(s): I have quoted from the books. See end notes to see which passages. I tried to incorporate all of the prompts though I took some liberties with the second one. I hope you like it (they turned out to be less happy and innocent than planned). I also wanted to thank Ningloreth for being so kind as to beta for me at such a short notice and at the last moment. Thank you so much! I’m very grateful. I take full responsibility for any other noticed mistakes.
Dare
5 August 1990
They met on one of his escapades beyond the borders of the forest surrounding the Manor. He was bored and running away from his ballroom lessons. And she was visiting her maternal grandparents for a month in the nearby town, like she did every year.
He stumbled upon her, sitting in a garden reading a book with her back against a big oak tree. He had never seen her before, partly because he had only recently been allowed to leave the Manor on his own but mostly because she was a Muggle. His lips curled into a sneer at that thought. His father had told him many things about these dirty Muggles. About how they were uncivilized, uneducated and primitive savages and how beneath him they were. Admittedly most people were beneath him, even fellow wizards and witches, for the Malfoys were like royalty but Muggles were even more beneath him, like Earth and Heaven.
He took a closer look at her. She looked neater than he would have expected of a Muggle. Certainly that bush of brown curly hair on her head could pass for a bird's nest but the air she exuded was that of an elegant Lady. He could certainly see his mother in her with her back straight against the tree and the confident expression on her face when she moved her hand gracefully to turn over a page. He shook his head. What was he thinking? No pure-blood witch would ever be caught sitting cross legged on the ground. His eyes followed her hand and focused on the book and he was shocked. “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” by C. S. Lewis. The book that she was reading was written by a wizard. He knew because they had the same book in their own private Library. He was even more surprised that she could actually read. Before he knew it, the words slipped out of his mouth. Later he’d blame his brief lack of perfect composure on the surprise of encountering his very first Muggle.
***
She heard him before she saw him out of the corner of her eye. The intruder, of around her age, probably thought he had been discreet and had stealthily made his way closer to her. Of course she had noticed him even though she had purposely ignored him. She had tried to focus on her book but the amount of noise he was making could probably wake up a bear in hibernation. It almost made her huff in irritation. She waited a few moments for him to make himself known while still pretending to keep reading her book. Even though she had been expecting it, his voice startled her.
“You can read…” He breathed, incredulously, and she could feel annoyance welling up inside of her. She wanted very much to snap back at the boy, “Of course I can,” but years of reprimands from her mother had taught her some self-control, however thin, and to show good manners around strangers. And so she settled for a roll of her eyes and turned her head to address him - more sharply than intended.
“What made you think I can’t read? Can’t you read?”
He looked affronted.
“Of course I can, but I am-”
She wondered what he was going to say. Was he about to say that he was better than her? That miffed her even more.
“Why else would you be surprised that I could read?” Her eyes narrowed at him. “I am just as good as you are.”
For a moment he looked caught off guard, as if not used to someone going against him. But she could see on his face the moment his attitude changed. His eyes turned from surprised to indignant to furious and his expression hardened at her words as if she had just insulted him gravely. A cold smile crossed his lips.
“You certainly don’t look very clever.”
She was sure she heard something snap inside of her. Probably the last bit of restraint that held her patience and temper in check. He was staring arrogantly down at her so she got up to answer him face to face.
“You have nothing to base that on. I am very clever, I will have you know. I’m probably more clever than you are!”
“That’s not possible. I am most certainly more superior than a stupid Muggle like you.”
She didn’t know what a Muggle was but she was sure it was an insult, based on the disgust on his face when he spat the word out. If he thought she would back down just because he called her a bad name then he was even more of a dimwit than he looked.
“How mature… resorting to name calling when you can’t talk your way skillfully through something.” She chose to ignore the fact that she had called him a dimwit in her mind only a few seconds ago.
“I’m only lowering myself to your simpleton level so you can understand the insults I throw at you. It wouldn’t be fun if you didn’t even realize I was insulting you. Or perhaps I got infected by the air an idiot like you is breathing out. ”
She stared at him incredulously. Was this boy serious? What was his problem? She snapped at him angrily: “Nobody told you to breath in this ‘idiotic’ air. Nobody told you to even be here. In fact you are actually trespassing on private ground. You shouldn’t even be here!”
“Nobody gets to tell me what to do. I do whatever I want, for I am a Malfoy.” He pronounced it smugly, as if it explained everything. “Besides, this tiny hovel and its garden is most probably our property any way.” He gave the small cottage of her grandparents a condescending look. “Not that it’s worth much,” he then added with a cold sneer.
She bristled, furiously. The nerve of that guy… Where did he get off being so arrogant and pompous? She gave him an icy glare but he looked completely unfazed. Just when she was about to snarl at him, her stomach growled. They both looked up at each other in surprise. Her cheeks lit up in mortification even though it wasn’t that embarrassing. His face lit up with the tiniest evil grin and she just knew he was about to mock her, when his own stomach rumbled. He scowled at her accusingly as if she were the cause. It made her sniff at him contemptuously. She turned her back on him and started walking away from him.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going!” She heard him yell at her in response. “I didn’t say you could leave yet. How dare you walk away from me!”
She stopped in her tracks to give him a cold look over her shoulder. “I am getting myself something to eat. Not that that’s any of your business.”
“Then I order you to give me something too,” he answered back haughtily.
She threw him a look of disbelief. “I am not your servant! Get it yourself. Besides I’m getting some of our apples from our apple orchard.” She made sure to stress the ‘our’ part.
“They’re not your apples if the orchard is on our land.”
She threw him a dirty look but then an idea formed in her mind. “Fine. Come and get your apples then.” A wicked smile pulled at the corner of her lips. “Unless you’re too afraid to get them yourself. Who knew what a sissy you were.” The grin on her face widened. “Come on, I dare you!” She laughed devilishly and turned her back on him again to run to the apple orchard.
A few moments later they were both climbing the biggest apple tree in the orchard. Each was taunting the other to climb even higher, and higher, until it became a competition to see who would dare to climb the highest.
***
Later when Draco made his way back to the Manor fully sated with sweet, juicy apples he wondered why he had willingly spent so much of his time with that weirdly feisty Muggle. He deduced that he was probably bored and that she was something different from what he was used to. Usually people didn’t go against him but followed his orders obediently. But she would give as good as she got and that had piqued his interest. Admittedly at first he was very annoyed with her but the rivalry between them really set him on fire. He felt a rush of excitement just thinking about seeing her again. If only she wasn’t a Muggle, he mused. But what if he just saw her as a new toy to play with. That way he could justify spending more time with her even though she was a Muggle. And when he got tired of her, he could just throw her away.
Truth
9 August 1990
They were sitting next to each other, each reading their own book when she suddenly closed hers and turned towards him.
“What’s your favorite color?”
She could see she had startled him with her question.
“What brought this up?” he asked.
“Just curious.” She shrugged. “So what is it?”
She could see his brows knitting pensively.
“It’s green,” he finally answered
“Oh really…”
“Why are you sounding so surprised?”
“Euh… For no reason.”
He raised his brows skeptically but let the matter go, to focus back on his book.
“I actually expected it to be yellow,” she couldn’t help but blurt out.
He turned to face her once more.
“And why is that?”
“It’s just that I’ve noticed that every time we have met, you have been wearing or carrying something yellow with you. Last week you were wearing a yellow shirt, Monday you were wearing yellow socks, yesterday the handkerchief you lent me was yellow as well, and today-”
“It’s just a coincidence,” he interrupted her, his cheeks tinted red with embarrassment at having been caught lying.
She opened her mouth to protest but he didn’t let her.
“I like green. I have to… I like green, alright?” His tone was hard and warned her to drop it, and so she did, begrudgingly, for now, though she didn’t understand why it was such a big deal.
After a few minutes of watching him read in silence, she spoke up again.
“Do you have any siblings?”
He slowly pulled his eyes away from his book again to look at her.
“I’m an only child.” His voice was brusque and cold but his eyes held hints of sadness and regret in them.
“Me too. Though I wish I wasn’t.” She smiled at him wistfully. “My mother only wanted one child. They’re both dentists you see. So they’re always very busy and my mother wasn’t sure she could handle more than one child.”
She knew she was probably rambling because she could see him furrow his brow for a brief moment. But she was really hoping he would engage her more actively in conversation. Ever since their meeting, each time they'd met, they'd only conversed whenever he had felt like talking to her. Or, more like, arrogantly insulting her or getting into a discussion with her about something they disagreed on. She didn’t even know why she was trying so hard. If only he wasn’t so challenging to her.
“At first I was happy to be an only child because it meant that I wouldn’t have to share any of my stuff. But when I grew older, the loneliness started seeping in and I wished I had had a sibling to talk to and play with and…” A playful grin quirked her lips. “To blame everything on.” She chuckled. “I bet you would blame everything on someone else too.” She smirked at him. “Didn’t you want siblings?”
“No,” was all he said to her, with a blank look on his face.
“Oh…” She waited for him to say something more while trying to gauge his expression but the silence between them was deafening. She didn’t know what else to do so she opened up her book and tried to concentrate on reading. When he finally spoke up again, she was so surprised she almost dropped her book.
“My mother wanted to have more than one child.” He paused and she waited with bated breath for him to continue. “They tried many times but…” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed. “I am the only one who made it alive.” He sighed while closing his book. “So, what other questions do you have for me?”
“Huh?” She stared at him, dumbfounded. She hadn’t yet processed what he had just told her.
“You aren’t going to let me read in peace any way so you might as well ask them.”
Dare
16 August 1990
“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
He could see she was hiding something behind her back.
“Why?” he asked suspiciously. “What are you hiding from me?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t you trust me?” she replied in a huff.
He gave her a sceptical look. “Tell me what it is first.”
“Goodness, it’s a surprise. I promise it’s nothing bad.” She sighed audibly.
His gaze pierced her as he tried to decide whether to trust her or not.
She clicked her tongue impatiently. “For Heaven's sake Draco, you’re being paranoid. Just do it, alright! Or are you too afraid to trust me?”
His eye twitched slightly in annoyance at her bossy taunt but he did what she had asked anyway. The moment he closed his eyes and held out his hands, he could hear rustling and then something soft and slightly warm dropped into his hands. He opened his eyes to see what it was. Lying in his hands was a small apple pie.
“Go on.” She smiled at him. “Take a bite.” She gestured at it. “It’s freshly made by my grandmother. I helped her make them.”
She noticed his hesitation and must have seen the way he was eying it dubiously because she put her hands on her hips and frowned at him.
“It’s really good you know? I am a very good cook!”
The more he delayed tasting it, the more her displeasure showed. She probably thought he didn’t trust her. But it wasn't that he didn’t trust her. It was just that he'd never eaten anything Muggle before. Would he be able to tolerate something Muggle? Was it safe for him to taste it or would he get poisoned by it? Would he turn into a Muggle himself by eating it? Was it even clean? Would it taste like dirt? It all seemed so silly but it still worried him.
The heated scowl on her face couldn’t hide the hurt and offended look in her eyes. The trembling of her hand when she lifted it to take her gift back tugged painfully at his heartstrings. He pulled the pie out of her reach, took a deep breath to calm his nerves, and dragged the piece of Muggle food towards his mouth.
Truth or Dare
19 August 1990
They were sitting at the gate of an old abandoned castle they had climbed to one afternoon. She had never been there before and had never heard of the fortress but Draco had seemed to know all about its history.
“Then one day, the new wife of the Count was strolling the corridor alone at night when suddenly a cold hand touched her out of nowhere. At first she thought it was her husband but when she heard a pitiful voice wailing…”
“Stop!” she groaned. “I don’t want to hear anymore.” Just imagining it gave her the chills.
“I didn’t know you were such a scaredy-cat,” he chuckled, an amused smirk on his lips.
“I’m not a scaredy-cat,” she exclaimed in outrage.
“Then do you want to come back tonight and prove it?” he dared her.
“What?” She stared at him in shock.
“Or are you perhaps afraid of ghosts?” he taunted slyly.
“I’m not afraid!” she protested but she sounded weaker than she had hoped.
He grinned smugly at her obvious lie. He was right of course. Secretly she was freaking out but she would never let him know that. She would never live that down.
“I’m just afraid you won’t succeed in getting out of your house tonight. I wouldn’t want to get you into serious trouble. Perhaps better not?” she tried to reason with him.
He scoffed at her. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll be waiting at our tree. It’s you I’m worried about.”
When she realized there was no way of talking him out of this without sounding like a chicken, the reality of what she would have to do dawned on her. Dread welled up in her at the prospect of visiting a dark, presumably haunted castle in the middle of the night. She swallowed hard and tried to pull herself together. It was just a stupid castle. There was nothing to be afraid of. There were no such things as ghosts. Or so she hoped… She would not let him have his fun with her.
“So will I! You better make sure you're there!” she proclaimed bravely.
“Good, it’s a deal then! And don’t worry,” he replied with a mischievous smile. “I will protect you!”
He had better not try something funny. She knew that smile on his face all too well.
Truth
23 August 1990
“You wouldn’t understand, a simple Muggle like you,” he growled at her.
She looked like he had just slapped her in the face.
“You big jerk. I will not stand here and put up with being yelled at. I’m not some punching-bag you can use at your convenience.” She glared at him fiercely.
“Then don’t ask questions if you don’t want to be yelled at.” His face grew red with anger.
She shoved him hard in the chest. “I was worried, you arse-hole. I care about you.”
“Care about me...” He echoed her words mockingly and a cold smile crossed his lips. “Nobody told you to care about me. I certainly didn’t.”
“You…” She clenched her fist tightly. “You’re right. Sorry for doing something so ridiculous. That’s a mistake I won’t make twice.” She turned on her heels and started to leave.
He had never heard a tone this icy from her before. His heart skipped a beat.
“Wait…” he called out, in a strained voice. “Hermione…please wait…”
She wavered midstep but started walking away despite his pleas.
He ran after her and grabbed her arm to stop her. She gave him a dirty look.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I just…” he muttered, with a troubled look on his face. He had learned from an early age that sharing his emotions openly was dangerous. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t who I was. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He looked at her apologetically.
“You hurt me.”
“I know.”
“A lot.”
“I know.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know.”
Dare
30 August 1990
It was the day before she had to leave for Beaconsfield again, where she lived with her parents. School was starting next week and she would need some time to prepare for it. They had agreed to meet one last time. Neither one of them really wanted to say goodbye to the other. They had agreed to keep in touch some way or other. She had suggested using the mail to send letters but he had rejected that idea without explaining why. He had even looked at her funny when she had brought it up again. When he had started mumbling about owls, she had gaped at him but he had had assured her she’d understand in time. She wondered if it was some weird aristocratic thing.
He was waiting for her at their usual spot by the oak tree.
“Here, cover your eyes with this.” He thrust a blue silk scarf at her.
“Why?” She eyed it suspiciously.
He shook the scarf impatiently to signal for her to take it. “Come on! Just do it! I have a surprise waiting for you.”
She hesitated. What was he planning? She wasn’t exactly a fan of surprises.
“I don’t trust you. You’re up to something aren’t you?”
He pouted at her words in mock-hurt.
“You wound me. I wouldn’t dare.”
She scoffed at him. “Like that night at the castle when you said you weren’t planning something.”
He laughed sheepishly in response. “You got me there. But this time I promise you’ll like it. Besides, you got me back when you pretended you were really in danger. You still haven’t given me back the heartbeats I’d wasted on you.” He grinned cheekily.
Despite herself she smiled at him. “Fine. But I will kill you if you dare to do something bad to me,” she threatened.
***
In the end she was glad that she had trusted him. He led her to a small, hidden stream in the forest and there he showed her the picnic-basket he had brought for them. She beamed at him happily and he shrugged with a smirk, as if it wasn’t a big deal. He apologized again for the way he had acted the week before and she laughed it off. After that they talked about their hopes and their dreams. He told her he wanted to get into a famous boarding school, from which both of his parents had graduated. She had never heard of Hogwarts before but he didn’t seem keen on indulging her curiosity and since, for some reason, he had chosen to open up to her, she reluctantly dropped it.
“I’ll become their best student yet!” he swore, and she laughed at his enthusiasm.
They talked about his father as well. He told her that he was afraid of disappointing his father and that he wanted to make him proud. That he didn’t really like his father but respected him for all his accomplishments.
“I bet you must have some wonderful memories of him, too,” she said, softly.
“What do you mean?” He looked at her questioningly.
“Because, when you talk about him, you have a wishful look on your face.”
For a split second she saw wonder in his eyes before he stared off into the distance as if thinking about the past.
After finishing all the food, they lay down on the blanket and he fell asleep not long after. In his sleep he wrapped his arms around her and she returned his embrace without thinking.
He was a heavy sleeper, which was surprising since he was always somewhat on guard around her. It had improved with time of course, but she had always sensed a certain barrier between them. She watched him sleep, lying in her arms. He looked every bit the aristocrat with his long, straight nose, his perfect eyebrows and his broad mouth. But with his sharp eyes closed, his face seemed softer.
She didn’t think she had ever shared a moment like this with anyone before.
Truth
3 August 1991
The first thing she did when she saw him again was throw her arms around his neck and hug him.
“I got a letter,” she said grinning as she waved the letter in his face.
Her eyes were lit with excitement and he was sure he had never seen her smile as wide as she was smiling right now. He tried to ask her what letter she was talking about but she hugged him tighter, making him gasp.
“Merlin, Hermione, let me go! Are you trying to strangle me?” He grimaced, playfully. “I’m regretting meeting you already today.” The corner of his lips curled up ever-so-slightly.
She laughed at his protestations but didn’t let him go.
The truth was he had missed her a lot. Writing letters just wasn’t the same as hearing her voice. The last few weeks had gone by ever so slowly while he had waited for her to come back. He couldn’t believe it had already been a year since the last time he had seen her. She still smelled the same and he was savoring the soft touch of her skin.
“I’m so happy Draco! I got accepted to Hogwarts!” she squealed.
His eyes widened in astonishment. But she didn’t notice and continued to babble, overjoyed.
“Did you get accepted as well? You wanted to go, right? I still can’t believe I’m a witch! You’re a wizard, right? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, silly of me, you probably couldn’t. I’m so excited, everything is so new but I’m learning quickly! We can finally be together, Draco! I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you by letter but I wanted to tell you in person. Are you cross I didn’t?”
When he didn’t answer her questions, she looked at him, worried. “Draco?”
He answered her by wrapping his arms around her waist and tugging her into a tight embrace. He’d enjoy this for now and worry about his father later.
Dare
23 August 1991
“This isn’t going to work! I’m never going to be able to do it! My feet weren’t made for dancing,” she groaned. It was hopeless, she just couldn’t seem to stop tripping over her own feet and stepping on his.
“Then perhaps you should give up.”
She was appalled. Although she was feeling sorry for herself, and wanted to stop, she had still hoped that he would say something encouraging to her.
“If I’m the only one who believes in you and thinks you can do it, it certainly isn’t going to work. If you don’t want to do it then it doesn’t matter what I think. You should give up before you waste any more of our time.”
His words were harsh and awkward but they were filled with confidence in her and that shook her out of her funk. He was right. She needed to have more faith in herself.
“No! Let’s try again. There is no way I’m going to give up!”
His expression softened, and he took her hand gently back in his.
***
“You’re far too careless,” he whispered huskily. “Do you have any idea how you are looking at me?”
She sucked in a breath as he pulled on her waist. Her body moved willingly. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest as he stared down into her eyes and laid his other hand on her cheek. It set her cheek on fire and she shuddered at the contact. He moved his face closer but halted, his mouth poised above hers. She could feel his hot breath tickling her lips and it made her own breath hitch and her eyes widen. His fingers slipped under her camisole to stroke her bare flesh and it sent a shiver up her spine.
Suddenly a bright red spell skimmed his shoulder, barely missing it. He released her abruptly and when his sharp gaze focused on something behind her, his expression darkened. She turned around confused by what had just happened, but the sight she saw froze her blood. If looks could kill, she would be dead by now. She had never seen so much blind hatred and anger as she was seeing in the eyes of an older version of Draco, rushing towards them with a cane in his hand aimed at her. She stared at him numbly but she felt Draco pulling her behind him as he steeled himself to face the storm that was coming their way.
***
“You will walk away from my son and you will never talk to him again, you miserable filth.”
Her cheeks flushed in anger. “I will do no such thing! I like your son and I want to be with him!”
“You will leave him alone or I will make you!” His expression was one of cold fury.
She glared back at Draco’s father defiantly, daring him to do his worst but not thinking he would really do it. Her fiery eyes met his dead cold stare. When she saw him sneer at her maliciously she took a step backwards. When he lifted his wand and pointed it at her she flinched. When he opened his mouth, her eyes widened.
“Obliviate!”
***
Lucius took a distressed Draco by the arm and roughly pulled him up the hill in the direction of Malfoy Manor.
Draco was too shocked to put up a fight. She wouldn’t remember him now. Would not remember them or the time they had spent together. He had known he couldn't be friends with her at Hogwarts openly, but he'd hoped it might be possible secretly. But that was denied to him. His father had made sure that it would never happen now. A burst of anger raced through his body. He turned his head to glare at his father. How dare he do that to him! How dare he take away something that was his! Something that made him happy. And didn't his father always say that he should take anything that he wanted to have?
He saw his father furiously raging at him but he could barely hear him above the violent ringing in his ears.
“… dirty Mudblood… disgrace to your family… everything that I taught you… stole your magic… stay away… I will hurt … do you understand, Draco?”
Draco blinked, confused. It wouldn’t do him any good to let it show that he hadn’t caught what his father wanted him to understand. It didn’t matter though. He didn’t want to understand. His anger was now hot and boiling.
“What if I don’t understand?” He sneered. He had never opposed his father directly before. He had never dared to before. But he had been so close to kissing her. And even that had been denied to him.
That earned him a slap in the face. He almost flinched. But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen it coming.
“Then I will hurt you. I will hurt you so badly you will wish you had never thought of defying me,” his father spat back at him.
Draco’s face was expressionless. A mask of indifference hid the rage. “So you will hurt me.” He shrugged. He had never been this reckless before. He knew his coolness would infuriate his father even more but he didn’t care. He was beyond any reason now.
His father narrowed his eyes calculatingly. His own mask of practised calm came over his face. His voice was a low whisper, devoid of all emotion but deadly in its intent.
“I will hurt her. You can’t protect her. I will find a way to hurt her.”
“Hogwar-” Draco opened his mouth to protest but his father simply raised a finger to silence him.
“Hogwarts will not protect her. I am a member of the school’s Board of Governors. Don’t even think about finding her and getting friendly with her again. Not even in secret. There will be no secrets from me, Draco. Mark my words. I have eyes and ears everywhere. If I even hear a rumor of you being nice to her. I will get in, I will find her, I will hurt her and make her scream, I will cut her and make her bleed, but I will leave no mark and then I will erase her memory again so nobody will ever find out. So nobody will ever believe you. You know I am capable of it and you know I will do it. So you will stay away from her - do you understand?”
And for the first time since his defiance, Draco felt fear shivering through his body. He wanted to disobey his father and he wanted to make a stand. There was no way that he wanted to lose Hermione. But he was afraid. He could recognize the terrifying truth in his father’s words. His father would do what he threatened and his father would succeed.
Oh how he hated his father!
“Draco…” his father threatened. His patience was running out.
Draco nodded once, curtly, letting his father know he would agree to his terms, no matter how unwillingly. He would protect her.
Truth
1992-1993
“Why are you so mean to me? I never did anything to you.” Hermione confronted him, exasperated.
Because I have no choice.
His eyes narrowed at her and his lips curled venomously. “It’s what you deserve, you dirty Mudblood. You should have never been allowed to enter this school,” he spat at her.
Hurt flashed across her face and for a moment his sneer faltered but then it was back, even more cruel.
“If you’re that much more superior to me, then why do I have better grades than you do?” she snapped back.
“You probably stole your magic from some hapless, unsuspecting fool you met when you were young. That’s the only reason that a Mudblood like you could be so magical!”
If you did I was happy to give it to you.
She gasped indignantly.
He took a step back and turned from her, seemingly in disgust, but it took every bit of self-control he possessed not to reach out and touch her. “You better stay away from me before you steal my magic too!”
I want to be close to you too much.
She recoiled as though he had slapped her in the face, but then her eyes flashed with anger.
“Go to hell, Malfoy. I never stole anything from anyone. And you don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t do.” She pushed him to prove her point.
He turned on her angrily. This was too painful for him. He had to find a way to make her understand that he was dangerous for her. He grabbed her tender wrist and tightened his grip hard. It must have hurt because she was trying very hard not to wince. He pulled on her wrist to bring her closer to him and glared down at her. It made her body stiffen in response and she automatically took a step backwards but he followed her. Each time she backed up, he closed the gap between them until he finally got her up against the wall. One hand slammed next to her head as he loomed over her menacingly, his eyes stormy. She pushed at his chest with her free hand, trying to shove him away but he didn’t budge. He drew his face closer to hers and she started to protest but his cruel expression stopped the words in her mouth.
“I won’t repeat myself again, Granger. Stay the fuck away from me.” His voice was a low whisper that froze her on the spot and he could see her lips turning white from how hard she must have been biting them but she still glared daggers into him.
When I’m with you, it’s too hard to hold back my feelings.
He could feel his chest tighten and his heart aching at her closeness and he had to stop himself from leaning in even closer. It took everything he had to push himself off the wall and give her a final chilly glance before marching away.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
Dare
1993-1994
She slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster, daring him with her eyes to slap her back. She was so angry at him. How dare he make fun of Hagrid’s crying when it was his fault that Hagrid was devastated in the first place? It was all because he was stupid enough to insult Buckbeak and then pathetic enough to go running back to his father crying like a baby. It was bad enough that he always seemed to find a way to humiliate her but Hagrid never did anything to deserve this kind treatment.
Neither did I, a resentful voice in her head added. And that made her even angrier.
Hagrid might be only half human but he was still ten times more of a man than Malfoy would ever be. He was despicable! He was vile and such an arrogant, narcissistic bigot! And she was so sick of him trying to hurt the ones she cared about.
The slap must have been hard enough because Malfoy staggered. Her friends, and even his friends, all looked stunned but she didn’t care and lifted her hand again.
"Don't you dare call Hagrid pathetic, you foul -- you evil --"
"Hermione!" She heard Ron say weakly.
"Get off, Ron!" she yelled when he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back.
She pulled out her wand and looked him fiercely in the eye. Malfoy must have seen her fury because he stepped backward. She was daring him to attack her, daring him to fight back. Crabbe and Goyle looked to him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.
"C'mon," Malfoy muttered, not willing to take on her challenge. A moment later, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons.
Truth
1994-1995
Draco Malfoy was standing alone, leaning against a tree, when he saw the three of them coming his way. While on the outside he looked completely relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself watching the torture at the campsite, on the inside he was seething, and beside himself with worry. He knew where their tent was and so he knew where to stand to intercept them when they ran towards the danger instead of away from it. Typical Griffindors! Recklessly running toward danger thinking it’s a sign of bravery. It could get her killed some day.
When that good-for-nothing weaselhead ran his mouth off at him, he took the opportunity to try to send a subtle warning her way. He never once lost his cool, his well-regulated expression set to mockery and glee. But his inner turmoil and worry increased with every blast and every flash of green light. He should have known that they would defy his warning no matter what he told them.
"Hermione's a witch," he heard idiotic Potter snarl at him. Merlin, he was so stupid! Draco wanted to smash his face in for wasting precious time they didn’t have. Hermione needed to be taken to safety. They needed more incentive to keep her safe. He forced a malicious grin on his face and allowed more cruelty to come out of his mouth.
His heart jumped up in his throat when he heard a bang louder than anything he had heard so far coming from the other side of the trees. He looked briefly in that direction, to swallow the panic he could feel boiling up from deep within him. He wondered if the fear was obvious on his face, and he forced out a chuckle to calm down his racing heart.
When Hermione finally convinced the other two to walk away, he almost sighed in relief. Even the disgusted look she sent his way didn’t bother him as much as usual.
"Keep that big bushy head down, Granger." He sneered at her receding back. He was sure he hadn't completely kept the warning out of his tone.
Please be safe. Please…
***
Pansy Parkinson must have gaped at her as she walked by but he barely noticed, as he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Hermione was bewitching with her hair twisted up in an elegant chignon and long curls framing her face. The periwinkle-blue dress made her eyes shine even more than usual and fitted her perfectly. He had hardly seen her with her robes unbuttoned and was amazed how much she had matured from her eleven year old self to this elegant, alluring woman. To say that he was shocked was an understatement and he was aware his mouth was opening to say something, but nothing came out. What could he say?
You look breathtakingly beautiful.
I wish you were the one on my arm.
Hermione, I want…
Dare
1995-1996
He cornered her after Transformations when she had stayed behind to ask Professor Mcgonagall a question about the essay they needed to write. She had told Harry and Ron to go ahead without her since they had Divination next and she had Arithmancy.
“I know you lot are up to something. There’s no way you fools stayed obedient. Umbridge told me all about your plan to form some kind of a club. She thinks she has scared you off but I don’t believe that one bit.” He sneered maliciously.
“What are you talking about Malfoy? I have no idea what you are talking about,” she scoffed, feigning ignorance.
“You’re a bad liar, Granger. I don’t know what you are up to, I don’t know what the club is for, but I will find out. And you better not be there when I find out. Better still, you better stop whatever you’re doing before I find out.” He scowled at her.
“You’re paranoid, Malfoy. We’re not doing anything. All that inbreeding must have made your mind unstable.” She rolled her eyes.
“Fine. Have it your way. Laugh now while you still can. I will catch you eventually and when I do you won’t be laughing,” he threatened.
Her eyes flashed. She wondered if they were betraying her feelings. Alarm… Suspicion... Distrust... Worry... His sharp gaze went right through her. She closed her eyes once to blank them, and laughed.
“Do whatever you want, Malfoy. See if I care,” she mocked. “You’re pathetic if you think you can intimidate me this way. I’m not afraid of you.” She tried to look determined, even though she feared she couldn’t completely rid her face of the anxiety she was feeling.
“I dare you,” she taunted when she pushed her way passed him, without sparing him another look.
She never heard his painful whisper. She never saw the heartbreak in his eyes.
“Please be careful. Please don’t get caught.”
Truth
1996-1997
"Yeah, like you'd dare do magic out of school," Malfoy sneered at her. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
Tell me who did this because I will hurt anyone who dared to hurt you.
Dare
1997-1998
Her screams chilled him to the bone. If only there was something he could do to help her! He felt desperate and furious at the same time. All he wanted to do was take her far away and hide her to protect her. Why did she have to get caught? He was certain it was the fault of one of her imbecilic friends. He dug his nails into his hands to avoid doing something stupid like launching himself on top of his deranged aunt and trying to throttle her to death. It wouldn’t do him any good to get all of them killed. He felt like such a coward, unable to protect the one girl he cared about. He wanted to raise his wand but he wasn’t certain he’d be fast enough and he didn’t dare to risk his mother facing the consequences of his betrayal. She was the only one who really loved him. If only there was a way to protect both his mother and Hermione.
Truth
1998-1999
“Please…” The words were a painful whisper.
She locked her eyes with his, and pointed her wand at him, as he was begging her to.
“Legilimens.”
She felt his memories crash into her mind. It was incredible how many things she had missed seeing. The crushing weight of all his thoughts and emotions were overwhelming her. Especially his love for her. She had never known, had never suspected a thing. She saw him numbing her from the pain of his aunt’s Crucio, as much as he dared. She recognized his warning against Umbridge in the fifth year. She felt his fear for her when people were getting attacked on the campsite and he knew she would be rushing towards the danger instead of running away from it. She was hit with the intensity of his longing to be with her every single day for the past seven years and his determination to protect her. She gasped when she stumbled upon the memory of his father threatening to hurt her and she blanched when she realized his father had Obliviated her.
It was more than she could handle, and she pulled out of his mind abruptly. She was shaken up badly and it took a few moments for her to catch her breath. Shudders of disgust and horror went through her and she could feel bile rising up her throat. She tried to swallow it back down, together with the panic that she could feel soaring through her body. When she was finally able to pull herself together, she looked back up at him. She had never seen him so uncertain or so vulnerable before. Neither of them spoke for a moment. When she finally nodded her head once at him, she saw him exhale visibly, in relief. The tension in his shoulders eased when she handed back his wand. And as he aimed it at her, she tried not to flinch.
“Memento Iterum.”
Dare
18 June 2002
She had never liked Quidditch. She still didn’t but the Holyhead Harpies were playing against Puddlemere United and it was Ginny’s last game before she would retire. And so she was sitting there smiling, cheering and whooping together with her small group of friends. Suddenly she noticed how quiet it had become around her and that made her look round in confusion. Had she missed something? A squeeze on her hand made her look to the right and her eyes landed on the person sitting next to her. Draco’s eyes were on her and glinting with mischief. He gestured to a big screen with his head and smirked at her. Only then did she realize the reason for the sudden quietness around her. There on the big screen, on the kiss cam, were Draco and her. Big flashing words were popping in and out around their faces. KISS HER. KISS HER. She could hear people starting to shout the words aloud, and it only got louder and louder as more people joined in the rooting. Even her friends started to demand a kiss with smiles so big she thought they would split their face. She flushed red and burned up with embarrassment. Draco just kept smirking unashamedly.
“What’s wrong, Granger?” He grinned as he looked down at her.
The cheeky brat. She would most certainly punish him later.
“It’s just a kiss…” The bastard looked so pleased with himself. She wanted to slap that grin right off his face. Well, perhaps not in public.
His smile widened and he looked like the cat that got the cream. His hair fluttered on his forehead as his fingers gingerly brushed her cheek. His touch was warm and calming against her skin. She cursed him for having such a strong effect on her.
“I dare you…” he drawled, smugly.
Urg. He was so arrogant and so confident. She would have to show him and kiss that smirk right off his face. Decision finally made, she pulled him towards her roughly and drew his lips to hers. He looked surprised for a moment but recovered as soon as their lips touched. His mouth was warm and pushing against hers and she pushed just as hard back against his. She couldn’t help but open her mouth as their kiss deepened. Her hands were clinging tightly onto his shirt. His hands were tangled in her hair. When they finally pulled away from one another, after what felt like an eternity, they were both panting. He had a lingering look of longing in his eyes and she could feel a sweet, gentle smile forming on her lips.
THE END
End notes
Quotes were taken from
* Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 15.
* Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Chapter 9 and Chapter 23.
* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 6.
Memento Iterum means 'Return memory'.