The Bracelet, Chapter 102/103
Title: The Bracelet
Author: AkashaTheKitty
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott (whew)
Genres: Drama, Friendship, Hogwarts Years, Humor, Romance
Warnings: HBP Spoilers, although slightly incompatible.
Overall Rating: R
Summary: When Hermione Granger loses a bet she was sure she'd win to Draco Malfoy, it's the beginning of her own personal hell. And his.
Author's Note: This is (almost) it. This is the last real chapter before the epilogue. But never fear, because I'm already in the process of posting another WIP and will soon be spamming you with updates for that. Sorry. I am persistent like that. I'd like to take the chance to emphatically thank my long time content betas Margot Le Faye, MazVN, Little Dollface, kerri240879, TomFeltonIsKindaHot and Manda0610. You guys... piss me off a lot when you force me to rewrite, but it's totally worth it and you know you're the awesomest. All mistakes are theirs, of course. ;)
Go here if you didn't read previous chapters.
Groaning, Draco slowly came too. His head was killing him and he was feeling nauseated. A quick bit of math told him that this was probably due to him having neither eaten nor drunk anything for far, far too long. He opened his eyes and glanced over at his clock. It was four o'clock. Probably in the morning, considering how dark it was.
He didn't even know if anyone else was still in the castle. He'd just walked straight in and down to his room, where he had thrown himself onto the bed.
He really didn't care if anyone else was left. As long as there was still food in the kitchens, he'd be quite happy to be the sole inhabitant of Hogwarts for a while.
Although, come to think of it, perhaps his parents would appreciate learning that he was fine. Oh, well, the Owlery was unlikely to have been emptied.
Alas, once he emerged from the kitchens, it quickly became apparent that the place was indeed not abandoned just yet and as soon as he was spotted, he was taken aside and all but interrogated.
Fortunately, he had a really solid story for what he had been doing during the fighting, a story that could be confirmed by Theo, Pomfrey and even Hermione. Unfortunately, none of those people could be reached for hours, so he just had to sit there and… sit. Under guard.
This amused him, considering how freely he'd roamed around right after the fighting was over.
He wasn't the only one being questioned in here. The Hall had been cleared and there were small groups scattered all over the room. One student in each group being questioned. He did a double-take as he noticed that one of the students was Astoria.
"These students… are they the ones that… you know?" he quietly asked 'his' Auror, a young woman whose mouth had a bitter set to it. He couldn't quite come out and directly ask if they had been the ones to betray their own house- and classmates. The memories of hurt and dying children were still too fresh.
"How do you know about that?" she sharply asked.
"I told you. I spent the night at the Hospital Wing. Are… are you really sure about all of them? Truly?" He found it hard not to keep glancing back at Astoria. Was she really the type to do this? To lure people into trusting her and then betraying them-killing them?
The Auror seemed disinclined to answer at first, but then said, "Most of them, yes. Some are just stragglers, though. We'll know about them-and you-soon enough."
"What about her?" He pointed at Astoria.
"I can't tell you that. If Hermione Granger verifies your story, maybe you can ask her."
He'd really rather not. He supposed he'd find out eventually-by reading the Daily Prophet if nothing else. "I can't believe Astoria would do that, though," he muttered to himself.
"Yes, well, so say all the survivors of the attacks about their attackers. That was what made it so effective."
"Ah. Still."
"You can let this tosser go," a cool voice said over Draco's shoulder. "He doesn't have the ability or conviction to act on anything."
Draco winced. Theo sure had a way of putting things. If only he knew.
"All right," the cynical nameless Auror said. "You're free to go."
"Wait, you're taking his word for it?" Draco couldn't help but ask. "Didn't you notice that whole freaky dangerous thing about him? Plus his dad is a Death Eater, you know."
Theo slapped the back of Draco's head a little more forcefully than he had to. "I took a knife to my gut, you stupid git, plus Hermione completely trusts me, which is enough for these people. Now get out of here and quit wasting their time."
Draco obediently got to his feet. "What about her?" he asked Theo, nodding towards Astoria.
"Don't know; don't care," Theo simply said and then turned to walk back out. Draco noticed that he favored one side and still walked carefully.
Draco followed him out. "Think you could find out for me?" he casually asked.
"No."
That struck Draco as enormously unfair. Theo had the girl, why wouldn't he do Draco this one tiny little favor? "Come on, Theo, I find it really hard to believe that she could have done it, and she really doesn't deserve-" He cut off with a surprised yelp when he suddenly found himself flung against the wall.
Theo was looking livid-which was scary in itself-holding Draco in place with only the use of his wand. "I do not care," he hissed. "Do you understand that yet, Draco, or do I need to spell it out some more?"
The magic tightened uncomfortably around Draco's every limb, making every single one of his muscles ache and it was almost impossible to breathe. "W-what?" he gasped. "Why are you..?" He groaned as the magic tightened another fraction.
"Yesterday, you ran off without knowing the whole story again, and then hurt Hermione again. For that, I ought to kill you."
The magic tightened even more and Draco became so focused on ignoring the pain and somehow still getting oxygen that he couldn't respond, couldn't do anything. "Can't… breathe…"
"You're too stupid to breathe."
"N-no, didn't mean to…"
"You never mean to. But you do it anyway because you're too big a coward to even face the slightest risk of rejection."
"I'll… tell… her…"
"Oh, don't do me any favors." Theo abruptly removed the pressure, making Draco fall to the floor, gasping for air, and then bent over him, whispering, "You're too pathetic to go to Azkaban for, but rest assured that if there weren't this many Aurors around, I'd have killed you." He turned away to leave.
"I had her in the bracelet," Draco bit out. "I made her tell me she loved me."
"I know. That is one memory I had the misfortune to see."
"I could feel everything she felt… I didn't feel she loved me."
Theo laughed. "And you think your jewelry is infallible? Did you ever feel her devotion to her friends?"
"What?"
"She adores her friends. Did you feel it?"
Draco grunted as he tried to get to his feet but both his legs cramped up and he stumbled back down. "No, but that's hard to define. I felt other-"
"And love is so easy to define, is it? Not like what you might feel instead would be things like lust, joy, tenderness… but I'm sure you never felt any of that either."
"Wait…" Draco gasped, making Theo stop and half-turn with a raised eyebrow. "I thought… she kissed you!"
"And such a passionate kiss it was!" Theo sarcastically commented. "You're completely right. Nobody ever gave anyone a close-mouthed kiss on the lips without intending it as a declaration of love." Then he turned back and walked away.
"Fuck!" Draco struggled to get to his feet, groaning as the muscles in his legs still objected. "Wait! Theo, wait!" He limped after him. "Tell me where she is!"
"Not my problem," Theo coolly said, not stopping or accommodating Draco's slower speed. "Pansy, on the other hand, left for her parents' in a huff after she woke up to being completely abandoned by you. You really are smooth."
"If what you're saying is true and you're not just fucking with me-" Draco began, ignoring the part about Pansy. He'd have to owl her later.
"See, that's the problem," Theo interrupted. "It doesn't matter whether it's true or whether I'm just fucking with you. You're still an asshole who is only still breathing because I really don't fancy a trip to Azkaban to keep my father company."
"I want to fix this!" Draco argued, clenching his jaw and limping faster to keep up with Theo.
"You always do. But your fixes are almost worse than your initial fuck-ups. I say you leave that poor girl alone for once. She'll be fine. She was everywhere, taking care at everyone, after your little talk. She doesn't need you."
"But what if I need her?"
"I couldn't care less about that."
"Come on, Theo!" Draco was beginning to feel desperate. "Even if she's decided I'm the biggest git in history and I'm not worth it, I can't have her thinking the wrong thing about me if-if she actually…"
"Why not? That you're a git is exactly the right thing."
"Yes, I'll admit to that, but I did not actually ask my mother's permission to get serious about Astoria."
Theo abruptly stopped, turning on Draco with murder in his eyes. "That's what you told her you did?"
"Yes, I did tell her that, but the truth is I asked my mother's permission to be with Hermione. To prove that I meant it. I just… thought she'd feel awkward knowing that. Because I… jumped to conclusions." Draco grimaced. It all sounded so stupid now.
"And now she probably feels used and mislead." Theo looked as if he had just bit into something really unpleasant.
"Yes, and do you really want her to feel that way?" Draco was quick to ask.
"No. But I'm unconvinced that you will ever manage to make it better."
Draco scowled rather ineffectually. "I don't need your permission to talk to her."
"No, but you do need to know where to find her. See if anyone else will tell you where she is." Theo looked all too pleased with himself.
"If I make it worse, I'll allow you to hex me." Draco was officially grasping at straws now.
That seemed to catch Theo's interest. "Really?"
"Sure, any hex you want!"
Theo's smile was slow and very, very evil. "Well, in that case…"
This was almost guaranteed to become painful in more ways than one.
Hermione awoke with a start when she heard the door open. How long had she been asleep? She rolled onto her side to check her bedside clock and almost fell off the sofa.
Oh. Right. She wasn't in her bed.
Still slightly disoriented, she sat up and yawned, feeling like she'd slept for all of five minutes.
She probably had.
As she rubbed her eyes, she tensed noticing the dampness. There was that too. The tremendous amount of grief and stress currently adding to her headache.
Losing so many of her friends and childhood heroes was hard. Especially when she hadn't truly had the time to process it yet. It felt like they all deserved to be mourned better, but she simply hadn't had the time.
"I'm sorry," the intruder quietly said. "I didn't know you'd be sleeping."
Hermione froze mid-stretch. She'd honestly done her very best to temporarily forget the existence of Draco Malfoy, although she hadn't been that successful yet. She just didn't want to deal with him right now. He was added stress she did not need. Not liking the disadvantage of sitting down, she half-stumbled to her feet.
"That's all right," she said, her voice gravelly from sleep. "That's why I'm here at the office. If people need me, I'm available. So what do you need?"
Suddenly he was right in front of her and grabbed her hand. She tried to get free when she felt the too familiar scrape of metal on her finger, but he was very determined and she had been caught off-guard.
She didn't want to wear it; the last thing she needed right now was to feel him. It was bad enough that he was essentially holding her hand.
"I love you," he quietly said.
She jerked upright to stare at him. Did he really have to keep picking at her wounds?
"Please believe me. You said I always felt guilty when I lied, so can't you tell that I'm telling you the truth now?"
"Why are you doing this?" she whispered. She'd begun shaking all over and could feel that she was very close to having a breakdown and was only hanging on by a thread. It was too much. Everything was too much.
"Because it's important to me. Just please tell me that you believe me, even if you never want to see me again."
She slowly shook her head and heard his breath catch, the pain clearly coming through the ring. "It was never a matter of me believing, Draco. You didn't need to force the ring on me again; I would have believed you without. I knew of your infatuation and I suspected this… recent…" She choked on the words. "It doesn't matter."
She felt some confusion seep into his pain. "But Theo-" He broke off as something seemed to occur to him. "Damn him. He's played me for a fool again. I'm sorry. At least you won't ever have to see me again." He dropped down into a chair and stared down at the bracelet on his wrist.
Theo had said something? She swallowed. "You were honest, so I'll return the favor. Yesterday, I thought things could be different. I don't think Theo m-meant to lie to you. I really thought it could be different until you told me that you…" Again the words wouldn't come.
"It was a lie," Draco whispered, rubbing his face as if he were as tired as she felt. "I swear. The letter was about you. I have other letters to prove it. I just thought you'd chosen Theo. I had no clue it hurt you; I wanted to spare you."
Spare her? From what? She shook her head. "You generally don't have a clue about anything."
"I guess not…" He let his hands drop and looked at her with so much longing she had to look away. It hardly helped, though, because she could still feel it. "If I'd been better, would it have mattered?"
"I don't think that's-"
"Just answer me, Hermione," he pleaded.
She could hardly bear this feeling of desolation coming from him. Was this really how he felt? She had to try to soothe his pain. Even if he'd been a clueless git. "You're not being fair to yourself," she said. "You started out rotten, but you've vastly improved. You just spent hours and hours caring for those in need up at the Hospital Wing when you could just as easily have fled or killed people. You're a good person. I haven't thought you were bad for a while."
He dully stared at her. "So that's a no, then."
She shook her head. "Why do you insist on doing this? I said I'd thought that things could be different, didn't I? So why do you keep saying th-that I don't…" She couldn't say the words. If she said the words, knowing that nothing could ever come of it, it would hurt too much. She would lose something again.
"Don't what?" he whispered.
"No," she firmly said. "I've already said it's useless."
His jaw set and his eyes hardened as she felt a flare of annoyance and even anger from him. Why would he suddenly be angry? She was so confused.
"I don't know how to interpret that," he bit out. "But if you're saying what I think you're saying, then you might have feelings for me, but you choose to ignore them based on some random assumption that it won't work. Like I've done for months, hurting both you and myself in the process. Are you really going to be that dumb as well?"
"Who said it was dumb of you?" she countered. "Maybe we needed to get hurt so we wouldn't take it any further?"
He shot out of his chair. "Further than what, Hermione? Further than making love and falling in love? How much further can we take it?"
"W-we didn't make love; we-"
"Don't even finish that sentence! Don't even dare to try and take what happened away from me! So you may not have had the same experience as me, but that doesn't change my experience!" He was very angry now.
Hermione noticed in a sort of detached way that her shaking had got even worse and then she felt her legs giving out and herself sinking down to sit on the sofa. How fortunate that there was a sofa right there, really. She tried to open her mouth to reply, but her teeth just rattled in her mouth.
Draco's anger quite suddenly evaporated. "Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked, hesitantly taking a step towards her. "Was it something I said? Why are you crying? Please stop. I probably overreacted. I'm just so confused and… don't cry…"
She wasn't crying, was she? She raised a hand to touch her own cheek and found that it was wet. How odd. She didn't understand anything anymore. "Th-the ring…" she managed to get out.
He quickly-yet much more gently this time-grabbed her hand and carefully took the ring off.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, massaging her trembling hand between both of his. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have told you about my feelings, much less let you suffer them. I just… hoped…" He swallowed and looked down. "I can't seem to stop hoping that something will change. But I'll try if you want me to, I promise. Why are you still crying?"
Why was she still crying? She didn't know. She hugged herself, trying to make the tears and the shaking stop. She was such an illogical mess. It had barely even registered with her that the ring was off and Draco's emotions were gone because there were already too many emotions for her to contain inside.
Suddenly, she felt his arms around her, drawing her closer. "Forgive me," he muttered. "You need comfort, not more fighting… tell me who you need me to fetch to get better and I'll go away. Far away. And I won't come back." He stroked her hair. "I only want your happiness."
The tears began falling even heavier. He'd leave? She wanted him around so she could feel the pain and the possibility that if she just reached out…
Of course, she couldn't reach out. He might mean well now, but he would eventually hurt her so badly that he would break her.
She just didn't want him to go.
She felt her body slowly calm down as he was holding her, rocking her, petting her hair and muttering apologies. She looked up at him, and for a second got lost in his eyes.
"Tell me who you need," he whispered. "I can't stay any longer. I need to go."
No! She clutched onto his arm. No. His presence comforted her. "Just a few more minutes."
He shook his head. "I can't. I'm no good at this. I keep wanting to hold you closer, to kiss your hair and neck, to tell you that I love you. I'm fairly sure that considering your condition, that would be close to assault and… I have to go."
No! He couldn't leave! Before she had a chance to think it through, she pressed her lips against his. It was probably one of the saltiest kisses she'd ever shared, but it still felt nice and calming. After no more than a few seconds, however, he broke off the kiss with a groan.
"That's so fucking cruel, Granger," he whispered.
It was. She didn't understand herself. She should let him go, but she felt like she was unable to. Way to be strong. She detested this weakness in herself. This manipulative, self-serving weakness that had her clinging to Draco and kissing him.
"I'm sorry," she said, willing herself to let go of him. "I-it's been a rough couple of days."
He nodded and looked away. "You should get some sleep." He began extracting himself from her.
"Please don't go!" She didn't know where the words came from. Maybe the ring? No, she wasn't wearing it anymore. No excuses. She just didn't want him to leave her again.
He gave her a long, pained look and then said, "Either you're being incredibly selfish, or you have feelings that matter more than you thought. Now is your last chance to tell me-do you want me to stay or to leave? If you ask me to stay… it won't just be for now."
She swallowed and looked away. She didn't want to give him the power to hurt her. He'd already hurt her so deeply and so often. But then again, didn't that mean he already had the power to hurt her? Maybe she was just afraid that it all could be really, really good, and then one day she'd lose it all again.
Denying them both the chance was really the work of a coward, wasn't it? But being a coward was just so safe. Sure, it hurt, but she never expected it to do anything but hurt, so it wasn't so bad.
That wasn't Hermione Granger, though. As hard as it would be to take the chance, and as much as she could possibly lose, she had to go for it.
"M-maybe just try it?" she asked.
He stared at her. Just stared. Then quite suddenly, he bent down and kissed her again. She didn't resist. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted that hand on her lower back to press her closer to him. She wanted his lips to caress hers like there was nothing else he would rather be doing.
He broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "Don't fret. If things don't go the way you want them to, you can always attempt to get rid of me again."
Relieved that he accepted her change of heart so easily and without question, she looked up at him. "With poison?"
He grinned, but then the grin faltered and gave way to a thoughtful expression. "I shouldn't have lied. I really have been an idiot, haven't I?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "That's true." After all, he had managed to consistently send the wrong signals and say the wrong things for months now. If he'd been less of a prat, then maybe this could have been sorted ages ago.
"If I'm ever an idiot again, slap me!" he grandly requested, resting his forehead against hers.
"Oh, sweetie…" Hermione said in an exaggerated croon, delightedly noting Draco's wince, and running her hand through his hair and down to his cheek, where she gave him a light smack. "You will be."
Hermione was, after all, a realist.
Author: AkashaTheKitty
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott (whew)
Genres: Drama, Friendship, Hogwarts Years, Humor, Romance
Warnings: HBP Spoilers, although slightly incompatible.
Overall Rating: R
Summary: When Hermione Granger loses a bet she was sure she'd win to Draco Malfoy, it's the beginning of her own personal hell. And his.
Author's Note: This is (almost) it. This is the last real chapter before the epilogue. But never fear, because I'm already in the process of posting another WIP and will soon be spamming you with updates for that. Sorry. I am persistent like that. I'd like to take the chance to emphatically thank my long time content betas Margot Le Faye, MazVN, Little Dollface, kerri240879, TomFeltonIsKindaHot and Manda0610. You guys... piss me off a lot when you force me to rewrite, but it's totally worth it and you know you're the awesomest. All mistakes are theirs, of course. ;)
Go here if you didn't read previous chapters.
Groaning, Draco slowly came too. His head was killing him and he was feeling nauseated. A quick bit of math told him that this was probably due to him having neither eaten nor drunk anything for far, far too long. He opened his eyes and glanced over at his clock. It was four o'clock. Probably in the morning, considering how dark it was.
He didn't even know if anyone else was still in the castle. He'd just walked straight in and down to his room, where he had thrown himself onto the bed.
He really didn't care if anyone else was left. As long as there was still food in the kitchens, he'd be quite happy to be the sole inhabitant of Hogwarts for a while.
Although, come to think of it, perhaps his parents would appreciate learning that he was fine. Oh, well, the Owlery was unlikely to have been emptied.
Alas, once he emerged from the kitchens, it quickly became apparent that the place was indeed not abandoned just yet and as soon as he was spotted, he was taken aside and all but interrogated.
Fortunately, he had a really solid story for what he had been doing during the fighting, a story that could be confirmed by Theo, Pomfrey and even Hermione. Unfortunately, none of those people could be reached for hours, so he just had to sit there and… sit. Under guard.
This amused him, considering how freely he'd roamed around right after the fighting was over.
He wasn't the only one being questioned in here. The Hall had been cleared and there were small groups scattered all over the room. One student in each group being questioned. He did a double-take as he noticed that one of the students was Astoria.
"These students… are they the ones that… you know?" he quietly asked 'his' Auror, a young woman whose mouth had a bitter set to it. He couldn't quite come out and directly ask if they had been the ones to betray their own house- and classmates. The memories of hurt and dying children were still too fresh.
"How do you know about that?" she sharply asked.
"I told you. I spent the night at the Hospital Wing. Are… are you really sure about all of them? Truly?" He found it hard not to keep glancing back at Astoria. Was she really the type to do this? To lure people into trusting her and then betraying them-killing them?
The Auror seemed disinclined to answer at first, but then said, "Most of them, yes. Some are just stragglers, though. We'll know about them-and you-soon enough."
"What about her?" He pointed at Astoria.
"I can't tell you that. If Hermione Granger verifies your story, maybe you can ask her."
He'd really rather not. He supposed he'd find out eventually-by reading the Daily Prophet if nothing else. "I can't believe Astoria would do that, though," he muttered to himself.
"Yes, well, so say all the survivors of the attacks about their attackers. That was what made it so effective."
"Ah. Still."
"You can let this tosser go," a cool voice said over Draco's shoulder. "He doesn't have the ability or conviction to act on anything."
Draco winced. Theo sure had a way of putting things. If only he knew.
"All right," the cynical nameless Auror said. "You're free to go."
"Wait, you're taking his word for it?" Draco couldn't help but ask. "Didn't you notice that whole freaky dangerous thing about him? Plus his dad is a Death Eater, you know."
Theo slapped the back of Draco's head a little more forcefully than he had to. "I took a knife to my gut, you stupid git, plus Hermione completely trusts me, which is enough for these people. Now get out of here and quit wasting their time."
Draco obediently got to his feet. "What about her?" he asked Theo, nodding towards Astoria.
"Don't know; don't care," Theo simply said and then turned to walk back out. Draco noticed that he favored one side and still walked carefully.
Draco followed him out. "Think you could find out for me?" he casually asked.
"No."
That struck Draco as enormously unfair. Theo had the girl, why wouldn't he do Draco this one tiny little favor? "Come on, Theo, I find it really hard to believe that she could have done it, and she really doesn't deserve-" He cut off with a surprised yelp when he suddenly found himself flung against the wall.
Theo was looking livid-which was scary in itself-holding Draco in place with only the use of his wand. "I do not care," he hissed. "Do you understand that yet, Draco, or do I need to spell it out some more?"
The magic tightened uncomfortably around Draco's every limb, making every single one of his muscles ache and it was almost impossible to breathe. "W-what?" he gasped. "Why are you..?" He groaned as the magic tightened another fraction.
"Yesterday, you ran off without knowing the whole story again, and then hurt Hermione again. For that, I ought to kill you."
The magic tightened even more and Draco became so focused on ignoring the pain and somehow still getting oxygen that he couldn't respond, couldn't do anything. "Can't… breathe…"
"You're too stupid to breathe."
"N-no, didn't mean to…"
"You never mean to. But you do it anyway because you're too big a coward to even face the slightest risk of rejection."
"I'll… tell… her…"
"Oh, don't do me any favors." Theo abruptly removed the pressure, making Draco fall to the floor, gasping for air, and then bent over him, whispering, "You're too pathetic to go to Azkaban for, but rest assured that if there weren't this many Aurors around, I'd have killed you." He turned away to leave.
"I had her in the bracelet," Draco bit out. "I made her tell me she loved me."
"I know. That is one memory I had the misfortune to see."
"I could feel everything she felt… I didn't feel she loved me."
Theo laughed. "And you think your jewelry is infallible? Did you ever feel her devotion to her friends?"
"What?"
"She adores her friends. Did you feel it?"
Draco grunted as he tried to get to his feet but both his legs cramped up and he stumbled back down. "No, but that's hard to define. I felt other-"
"And love is so easy to define, is it? Not like what you might feel instead would be things like lust, joy, tenderness… but I'm sure you never felt any of that either."
"Wait…" Draco gasped, making Theo stop and half-turn with a raised eyebrow. "I thought… she kissed you!"
"And such a passionate kiss it was!" Theo sarcastically commented. "You're completely right. Nobody ever gave anyone a close-mouthed kiss on the lips without intending it as a declaration of love." Then he turned back and walked away.
"Fuck!" Draco struggled to get to his feet, groaning as the muscles in his legs still objected. "Wait! Theo, wait!" He limped after him. "Tell me where she is!"
"Not my problem," Theo coolly said, not stopping or accommodating Draco's slower speed. "Pansy, on the other hand, left for her parents' in a huff after she woke up to being completely abandoned by you. You really are smooth."
"If what you're saying is true and you're not just fucking with me-" Draco began, ignoring the part about Pansy. He'd have to owl her later.
"See, that's the problem," Theo interrupted. "It doesn't matter whether it's true or whether I'm just fucking with you. You're still an asshole who is only still breathing because I really don't fancy a trip to Azkaban to keep my father company."
"I want to fix this!" Draco argued, clenching his jaw and limping faster to keep up with Theo.
"You always do. But your fixes are almost worse than your initial fuck-ups. I say you leave that poor girl alone for once. She'll be fine. She was everywhere, taking care at everyone, after your little talk. She doesn't need you."
"But what if I need her?"
"I couldn't care less about that."
"Come on, Theo!" Draco was beginning to feel desperate. "Even if she's decided I'm the biggest git in history and I'm not worth it, I can't have her thinking the wrong thing about me if-if she actually…"
"Why not? That you're a git is exactly the right thing."
"Yes, I'll admit to that, but I did not actually ask my mother's permission to get serious about Astoria."
Theo abruptly stopped, turning on Draco with murder in his eyes. "That's what you told her you did?"
"Yes, I did tell her that, but the truth is I asked my mother's permission to be with Hermione. To prove that I meant it. I just… thought she'd feel awkward knowing that. Because I… jumped to conclusions." Draco grimaced. It all sounded so stupid now.
"And now she probably feels used and mislead." Theo looked as if he had just bit into something really unpleasant.
"Yes, and do you really want her to feel that way?" Draco was quick to ask.
"No. But I'm unconvinced that you will ever manage to make it better."
Draco scowled rather ineffectually. "I don't need your permission to talk to her."
"No, but you do need to know where to find her. See if anyone else will tell you where she is." Theo looked all too pleased with himself.
"If I make it worse, I'll allow you to hex me." Draco was officially grasping at straws now.
That seemed to catch Theo's interest. "Really?"
"Sure, any hex you want!"
Theo's smile was slow and very, very evil. "Well, in that case…"
This was almost guaranteed to become painful in more ways than one.
Hermione awoke with a start when she heard the door open. How long had she been asleep? She rolled onto her side to check her bedside clock and almost fell off the sofa.
Oh. Right. She wasn't in her bed.
Still slightly disoriented, she sat up and yawned, feeling like she'd slept for all of five minutes.
She probably had.
As she rubbed her eyes, she tensed noticing the dampness. There was that too. The tremendous amount of grief and stress currently adding to her headache.
Losing so many of her friends and childhood heroes was hard. Especially when she hadn't truly had the time to process it yet. It felt like they all deserved to be mourned better, but she simply hadn't had the time.
"I'm sorry," the intruder quietly said. "I didn't know you'd be sleeping."
Hermione froze mid-stretch. She'd honestly done her very best to temporarily forget the existence of Draco Malfoy, although she hadn't been that successful yet. She just didn't want to deal with him right now. He was added stress she did not need. Not liking the disadvantage of sitting down, she half-stumbled to her feet.
"That's all right," she said, her voice gravelly from sleep. "That's why I'm here at the office. If people need me, I'm available. So what do you need?"
Suddenly he was right in front of her and grabbed her hand. She tried to get free when she felt the too familiar scrape of metal on her finger, but he was very determined and she had been caught off-guard.
She didn't want to wear it; the last thing she needed right now was to feel him. It was bad enough that he was essentially holding her hand.
"I love you," he quietly said.
She jerked upright to stare at him. Did he really have to keep picking at her wounds?
"Please believe me. You said I always felt guilty when I lied, so can't you tell that I'm telling you the truth now?"
"Why are you doing this?" she whispered. She'd begun shaking all over and could feel that she was very close to having a breakdown and was only hanging on by a thread. It was too much. Everything was too much.
"Because it's important to me. Just please tell me that you believe me, even if you never want to see me again."
She slowly shook her head and heard his breath catch, the pain clearly coming through the ring. "It was never a matter of me believing, Draco. You didn't need to force the ring on me again; I would have believed you without. I knew of your infatuation and I suspected this… recent…" She choked on the words. "It doesn't matter."
She felt some confusion seep into his pain. "But Theo-" He broke off as something seemed to occur to him. "Damn him. He's played me for a fool again. I'm sorry. At least you won't ever have to see me again." He dropped down into a chair and stared down at the bracelet on his wrist.
Theo had said something? She swallowed. "You were honest, so I'll return the favor. Yesterday, I thought things could be different. I don't think Theo m-meant to lie to you. I really thought it could be different until you told me that you…" Again the words wouldn't come.
"It was a lie," Draco whispered, rubbing his face as if he were as tired as she felt. "I swear. The letter was about you. I have other letters to prove it. I just thought you'd chosen Theo. I had no clue it hurt you; I wanted to spare you."
Spare her? From what? She shook her head. "You generally don't have a clue about anything."
"I guess not…" He let his hands drop and looked at her with so much longing she had to look away. It hardly helped, though, because she could still feel it. "If I'd been better, would it have mattered?"
"I don't think that's-"
"Just answer me, Hermione," he pleaded.
She could hardly bear this feeling of desolation coming from him. Was this really how he felt? She had to try to soothe his pain. Even if he'd been a clueless git. "You're not being fair to yourself," she said. "You started out rotten, but you've vastly improved. You just spent hours and hours caring for those in need up at the Hospital Wing when you could just as easily have fled or killed people. You're a good person. I haven't thought you were bad for a while."
He dully stared at her. "So that's a no, then."
She shook her head. "Why do you insist on doing this? I said I'd thought that things could be different, didn't I? So why do you keep saying th-that I don't…" She couldn't say the words. If she said the words, knowing that nothing could ever come of it, it would hurt too much. She would lose something again.
"Don't what?" he whispered.
"No," she firmly said. "I've already said it's useless."
His jaw set and his eyes hardened as she felt a flare of annoyance and even anger from him. Why would he suddenly be angry? She was so confused.
"I don't know how to interpret that," he bit out. "But if you're saying what I think you're saying, then you might have feelings for me, but you choose to ignore them based on some random assumption that it won't work. Like I've done for months, hurting both you and myself in the process. Are you really going to be that dumb as well?"
"Who said it was dumb of you?" she countered. "Maybe we needed to get hurt so we wouldn't take it any further?"
He shot out of his chair. "Further than what, Hermione? Further than making love and falling in love? How much further can we take it?"
"W-we didn't make love; we-"
"Don't even finish that sentence! Don't even dare to try and take what happened away from me! So you may not have had the same experience as me, but that doesn't change my experience!" He was very angry now.
Hermione noticed in a sort of detached way that her shaking had got even worse and then she felt her legs giving out and herself sinking down to sit on the sofa. How fortunate that there was a sofa right there, really. She tried to open her mouth to reply, but her teeth just rattled in her mouth.
Draco's anger quite suddenly evaporated. "Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked, hesitantly taking a step towards her. "Was it something I said? Why are you crying? Please stop. I probably overreacted. I'm just so confused and… don't cry…"
She wasn't crying, was she? She raised a hand to touch her own cheek and found that it was wet. How odd. She didn't understand anything anymore. "Th-the ring…" she managed to get out.
He quickly-yet much more gently this time-grabbed her hand and carefully took the ring off.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, massaging her trembling hand between both of his. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have told you about my feelings, much less let you suffer them. I just… hoped…" He swallowed and looked down. "I can't seem to stop hoping that something will change. But I'll try if you want me to, I promise. Why are you still crying?"
Why was she still crying? She didn't know. She hugged herself, trying to make the tears and the shaking stop. She was such an illogical mess. It had barely even registered with her that the ring was off and Draco's emotions were gone because there were already too many emotions for her to contain inside.
Suddenly, she felt his arms around her, drawing her closer. "Forgive me," he muttered. "You need comfort, not more fighting… tell me who you need me to fetch to get better and I'll go away. Far away. And I won't come back." He stroked her hair. "I only want your happiness."
The tears began falling even heavier. He'd leave? She wanted him around so she could feel the pain and the possibility that if she just reached out…
Of course, she couldn't reach out. He might mean well now, but he would eventually hurt her so badly that he would break her.
She just didn't want him to go.
She felt her body slowly calm down as he was holding her, rocking her, petting her hair and muttering apologies. She looked up at him, and for a second got lost in his eyes.
"Tell me who you need," he whispered. "I can't stay any longer. I need to go."
No! She clutched onto his arm. No. His presence comforted her. "Just a few more minutes."
He shook his head. "I can't. I'm no good at this. I keep wanting to hold you closer, to kiss your hair and neck, to tell you that I love you. I'm fairly sure that considering your condition, that would be close to assault and… I have to go."
No! He couldn't leave! Before she had a chance to think it through, she pressed her lips against his. It was probably one of the saltiest kisses she'd ever shared, but it still felt nice and calming. After no more than a few seconds, however, he broke off the kiss with a groan.
"That's so fucking cruel, Granger," he whispered.
It was. She didn't understand herself. She should let him go, but she felt like she was unable to. Way to be strong. She detested this weakness in herself. This manipulative, self-serving weakness that had her clinging to Draco and kissing him.
"I'm sorry," she said, willing herself to let go of him. "I-it's been a rough couple of days."
He nodded and looked away. "You should get some sleep." He began extracting himself from her.
"Please don't go!" She didn't know where the words came from. Maybe the ring? No, she wasn't wearing it anymore. No excuses. She just didn't want him to leave her again.
He gave her a long, pained look and then said, "Either you're being incredibly selfish, or you have feelings that matter more than you thought. Now is your last chance to tell me-do you want me to stay or to leave? If you ask me to stay… it won't just be for now."
She swallowed and looked away. She didn't want to give him the power to hurt her. He'd already hurt her so deeply and so often. But then again, didn't that mean he already had the power to hurt her? Maybe she was just afraid that it all could be really, really good, and then one day she'd lose it all again.
Denying them both the chance was really the work of a coward, wasn't it? But being a coward was just so safe. Sure, it hurt, but she never expected it to do anything but hurt, so it wasn't so bad.
That wasn't Hermione Granger, though. As hard as it would be to take the chance, and as much as she could possibly lose, she had to go for it.
"M-maybe just try it?" she asked.
He stared at her. Just stared. Then quite suddenly, he bent down and kissed her again. She didn't resist. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted that hand on her lower back to press her closer to him. She wanted his lips to caress hers like there was nothing else he would rather be doing.
He broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "Don't fret. If things don't go the way you want them to, you can always attempt to get rid of me again."
Relieved that he accepted her change of heart so easily and without question, she looked up at him. "With poison?"
He grinned, but then the grin faltered and gave way to a thoughtful expression. "I shouldn't have lied. I really have been an idiot, haven't I?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "That's true." After all, he had managed to consistently send the wrong signals and say the wrong things for months now. If he'd been less of a prat, then maybe this could have been sorted ages ago.
"If I'm ever an idiot again, slap me!" he grandly requested, resting his forehead against hers.
"Oh, sweetie…" Hermione said in an exaggerated croon, delightedly noting Draco's wince, and running her hand through his hair and down to his cheek, where she gave him a light smack. "You will be."
Hermione was, after all, a realist.