Fic prompt
I've been thinking about either writing this or throwing out the prompt for a long time, and I've seen a few prompts floating around lately, so I thought it was a good time. I think this could be cute and kind of silly.
A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine was talking about how she doesn't know how to break up with her boyfriend. I suggested that she pretend she was leaving the state, but she pointed out that they still wouldn't be broken up - they'd have to be in a fake "long-distance" relationship. I realized that there was a rom-com somewhere in there, so here it is:
Sorry this explanation a bit long. It's set several years after Hogwarts, where Hermione works for the Ministry and Draco does whatever. It opens with Draco trying to break up with Pansy, but he can't quite get the words out, and he tells her he's leaving the country in a spur-of-the-moment lie. She ends up convincing him to stay together in a "long distance" relationship, and then she tells everyone he's moving before he can tell her the truth. If someone does write this, please don't make Pansy a bad person or really dumb.
Under the conditions of his parole agreement, he's not actually allowed to leave the country (Pansy thinks he got security clearance somehow), so Hermione has to let him know. He tells her in confidence that it's all pretend, but the Ministry doesn't believe that excuse, so they have to keep sending her out to Malfoy Manor to make sure he's still there. Meanwhile, even Goyle thinks it's a stupid idea. I keep imagining a scene where Draco is talking to Pansy over the Floo, and he has to redecorate his whole living room to make it look like he's speaking to her from another country. Like I said, it could be silly.
Hermione is dating Ron, but she's fallen out of love with him and doesn't know how to break up with him either, so she can relate to Draco once she figures out what he's really doing, even though it's kind of really dumb. And then, you know, everyone learns and grows or whatever.
I wrote a little dialogue for it. I picked Belgium fairly randomly, so if someone wants to write this, they could go ahead and change it. You could use these words, or not.
HG: Malfoy, the Ministry has received information that you are planning to move to Belgium without telling anybody. Actually, our information suggested that you were already there, but thankfully that's not the case. I think you're aware that under your parole agreement, you can't leave the country at all without a documented professional reason, and you especially can't emigrate permanently.
DM: I'm not going anywhere.
HG: Then why do so many people think you are? We've gotten reports from multiple sources.
DM: I need to pretend I'm leaving the country. For personal reasons.
HG: What kind of personal reasons could you possibly have for pretending to move to Belgium?
DM: The personal kind.
HG: Right, well that doesn't make any sense, and you are creating a lot of headaches for me. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement really doesn't want you to leave England, and they won't believe me if I tell them that it's some kind of bizarre lie. They're going to make me keep coming back to make sure you're still here.
Yes, so there it is. Let me know if you pick it up, cause I want to read it.