Failure from head to toe
At this point I feel like a failure.
It might be attributed quite a fair bit by the fact that I just failed my latin exam, worse then I could have ever imagined. To give you a picture of how "well" I did, I started to laugh in the middle of the exam. I was laughing because I had no HOPE to answer what was given.
So I feel like a failure in school. I am just praying that I won't get kicked out of UBC. I don't know what I would tell my parents. So that's # 1.
As much as I like to pretend that I am over things, I clearly am not. I'm over the big things, but now it's the little things that are eating away at me. I feel like I'm incapable of holding up a relationship. Even though I realize that there was very little I could have done in this situation, this feeling still exists. I get frustrated because I'm so up and down about it. Worst of all, I feel I've failed because we are barely friends anymore. I've truly lost one of my best friends. So that's #2.
Financially...I can't even categorize myself with that word. I have no money. No money to do what I want, no money to pay for school, no money period. I have no job. I feel like I failed because I can't even motivate myself enough to pretend I like to work. Even though I hated it, I could have sucked it up and dealt with it. I feel like a failure because I can't find a job or get hired anywhere. And it really sucks. #3
In general, I feel like I could be doing alot better with my life. Sometimes I think that if I made better choices that things would have turned out differently. If it actually looked like I was going places that people would reflect differently. And I know "if" is the deadliest word, but I still think it. I look at people around me with their developed talents and how amazing they really are, and I just think why can't I do that right now? And it's not that I'm not trying, I am, it just I guess its more natural for them. And that is #4, 5 and 6.
I know this is kind of like a "wa wa wa" post. I'm not looking for esteem boosters. These are just my personal feelings and thoughts.
It might be attributed quite a fair bit by the fact that I just failed my latin exam, worse then I could have ever imagined. To give you a picture of how "well" I did, I started to laugh in the middle of the exam. I was laughing because I had no HOPE to answer what was given.
So I feel like a failure in school. I am just praying that I won't get kicked out of UBC. I don't know what I would tell my parents. So that's # 1.
As much as I like to pretend that I am over things, I clearly am not. I'm over the big things, but now it's the little things that are eating away at me. I feel like I'm incapable of holding up a relationship. Even though I realize that there was very little I could have done in this situation, this feeling still exists. I get frustrated because I'm so up and down about it. Worst of all, I feel I've failed because we are barely friends anymore. I've truly lost one of my best friends. So that's #2.
Financially...I can't even categorize myself with that word. I have no money. No money to do what I want, no money to pay for school, no money period. I have no job. I feel like I failed because I can't even motivate myself enough to pretend I like to work. Even though I hated it, I could have sucked it up and dealt with it. I feel like a failure because I can't find a job or get hired anywhere. And it really sucks. #3
In general, I feel like I could be doing alot better with my life. Sometimes I think that if I made better choices that things would have turned out differently. If it actually looked like I was going places that people would reflect differently. And I know "if" is the deadliest word, but I still think it. I look at people around me with their developed talents and how amazing they really are, and I just think why can't I do that right now? And it's not that I'm not trying, I am, it just I guess its more natural for them. And that is #4, 5 and 6.
I know this is kind of like a "wa wa wa" post. I'm not looking for esteem boosters. These are just my personal feelings and thoughts.