a little persssssssonal.
so this weekend was the worst weekend ever.
actually i've had a few bad ones but not lately
i can honestly say i dont know what happened to my mom
shes completely insane nowadays
today she asked me if i was doing drugs..
wtf? if i wanted to beleive me, i would
but seriously i just dont swing that way.
im too happy and have too much going for me to get involved in anyything like that
my whole family hates me
and i dont care at all
the second they fucking wrote me off i stopped caring
throughout the day im two completely different people.
at shcool im the happiest person ever. im so talkative and just so godddd damn happy.
i love all my friends
and i love just..i dont kno..i hate school but il ike being there seeing all the cute kids that i love
and thne on days i get to see my kime and other kids im just :-)
all smiles.
then when i get home im a different person. i mean im still happy but idont show it at all. i hate being at home. its what some would call a broken home? maybe
i dont know. but ihate it here. no one likes me. no one cares what i have to say. everyone is against me. and i just cant wait to go to school in the morning or just leave. thats why ive been so ampt to get a job. like soon. but i dont know. i just cant stand being in a place wher im not wanted or liked or even cared about. i can tell everyone hates me here. and i dont really care at all because dude..if youre so quick to fucking write me off..im even quicker to fucking forget every ounce or respcet i have for you. and right now i have no respect for anyone
everytime i attempt to have a conversation with my mom in results in a WW3 fight. literally. its sick as hell. it happened what 3 times just the weekend. sunday i actually left for like the 3 time. i hate it here. i just had to leave. by sunday night i didnt have a voice. thats how histerical i was. i hate when i get like that
its not me at all
im a happy person. honestly. ive never been so fucking happy about myself in soooooo long
actually ive neverbeen this happy
and im not about to let my mom or any of her offspring or even her siblings get in the way of that
i told my mom she is literally heading in a future where im not going to be apart of. and she wont be apart of mine. she doesnt seem to be phased by it at all. but whatevr. she doent know how serious i am. its sick as hell. i mean i want her to be there..why wouldnt i..every since this year ive always liked her for the most part. shes overprotective but im getting over it. but these past few months it has got out of control.
im just SO sick of it. its to the point i cant even live here anymroe. but im going to try. im not talking toanyone in my family. if something needs to be said they can talk to me.
but im done other then that. worst part= FIVE DAY WEEKEND. im not looking forward to it at all. i hate weekends. honestly what teenager hates weekends? one that has to stay home with a family that literally hates her and gangs up on her all the time. thats who. and thats me. i seriously dont have a winterbreak at all. i hate it. i wont be able to see any one i want to see. especailly the kids that are in college now. i really miss alot of them. and all the kids i havnet talked to at all this year. i hate it. thers alot of stuff i that i miss about the people i used to hang out with.
jessica and jd for one. i miss them to death. melanie..shes a different personnow so i want to get my old mels back. terribly. i miss her to death. the old mel that is. BMD -beforemiked. DONT GET ME WRONG. miked and i are good now. hes sweet as hell actually and i hate the fact we wasted time not being friends when hes actually really cool. but mel changed this past year i guess. maybe longer..but id otn know. shes still mel but i dont know i just miss the mel freshmen year. the one that never worked and alls she did was get money from momsssss<33 i miss that. i miss our movie nights..our fucking football possey. godddid give anythingto have that back. i was the happiest back then. not a care in thew orld..except ian but thats another story id rather keep...just not talk about. i promise. but we had the best times. so many inside jokes. so many long hiliarious nights that ...goddd i wouldnt trade for the world.
kimeee. i still talk to her all the time. infacti just got back from hanging out with her. if i iddnt have her i dotn know where id be. shes my best friend. of course i have other best friends but shes honestly...asjfsdklf
she knows me better then anyone ever. i swear. she knows everything..down to the GOREY GOREY DETAILS..and the get pretty gorey. especailly this past year. but im glad to say tahts all behind me now. and those of you who know whatim talking abuot...really dont. there is sooo much no one knows. stuff i cant even come to agreement with myself on what actually happened but ANYWAYS.
i miss eric even though we hung out a few times over the summer. but i really liked him and i dont think we ended very well? i dontk now. hes sweet as hell and id love to hang out with him but..things change.
i miss my aller-g. alot. i never evne see her anymore. its sad. really...:-(
shes a senior this year and i feel like we're drifting apart. i hate it. shes the one person that can truely make me piss my pants from laughing. we clicked right away my freshmen year and barely evne talked last. i hate it.
i miss erik..he hates me but..whats new. ive seriously had the biggest crush on him since i saw him when i was a freshmen. since then we got kinda close and now i think he doesnt even want to be my friend..but you win some..you lose some.
derrick is seriosuly and honeslt my favorite. i swear. ive known him for almost 3 years. and hes without a doubt one of the best friends ive ever had. hes so trusting and funny as hell. he's seriously made this year alot better. lunch and 4 hour with him is tons of fun. i seriously hope we dont stop talking when he graduates. id be crushed. hes one of the FEW guy friends that you can actually trust..enought to tell him who you like!
hes the best. and the fact his girlfriend is the biggest doll makes me adore him even more! yea. hes the baby daddy dubber. <33
theres a ton of kids i just miss. evans, mikepee, liz (even though we've hung out like twice!) shes sweet as hell, and about half of churchill and stevenson.
imiss all those kids. corey fucking hoffman...there are no words. i love him. ryan<3, liz and steph, ahh i dont even know righ tnow.
then there are the kids i love at franklin...that i never even get to hang out with. ryan<33, stephers!, my bitty, nicole, slack(even though we havent had the best year), my bunners<3
ah too many others. i just cante ven imagine what would happen if i didnt have them.
anyways back to the point. somethings gotta change or else im gunan go crazy
and all im going to remember about being 16 is how much i hated my family and how much i was hated. and how much i missed out. all because my mom hates me..she does. i know it.
but anyways...that was a little personaly so...heres today entry...
today was amazing..this is the longest entry everrr..
but today was sweet
i was in a horrid mood this morning. thanks to charlton it turned out to be a sweet day.
he came up to me and gave me " the pimp handbook"
alls he does is talk about being a pimp...and how im a pimp..
and how theres this group of pimps..at franklin
its the funniest thing. he even made pimp bracelets.(made of paper of course ;-))
but this handbook is the funniest thing ever written. i almost died from laughing so hard.
literally my stomach hurted SO bad. i couldmnt even listne to him read anymore
i had to leave. i almost died. literally.klasjfskldf
i love that kid. he always puts me in a good mood.
but i might be dropped from my 1 hour?
who knows.
too many damn tardies. whatev. mrs. abbott doesnt hate me so i think im good.
chemistry;i dont suck anymore. i have a quiz tomorrow and im gunan kick ass. or ill try :-)
gov't; im doing good i guesss...B+..pretty damn good. for me at least
child dev. me and dubes did an amazing project on downsyndrome ( thanks tony ;-))
had a 52 pointer the other day. kicked its ass. 50 fo meee! <3
student ass. haha its fun as hell. the schduling office is the place to be 5th hour.
algerbra 2? should i even go there? i dont want to. i had a good day.
then kimes phil andjessica went to courts work
it was a good time. i got an interview there..
California Pizza Kitchen in laurel park...
i dont know if i should even go cuz when ig ot home...there was a message for me from American Eagle and well i calle dthem back and...
I GOT THE FUCKING JOB AT AMERICAN EAGLE BITCHES ;-)
i literally started bouncing off the walls. everywhere. i called everyone i know
well not really buti called alot of people
i was so happy
i still am.
ahhhhh
and mrs. cosgrove wrote me the nicest letter of recommondation. i loved it. ill post it soon. its the best. shes a doll<3
but i really should shut the fuck up
i talk to damn much
this entry better at least get ONE comment
bitches.
thanks for reading if you did. im sure it took a long time...now just comment :-)
thanks loves<333
actually i've had a few bad ones but not lately
i can honestly say i dont know what happened to my mom
shes completely insane nowadays
today she asked me if i was doing drugs..
wtf? if i wanted to beleive me, i would
but seriously i just dont swing that way.
im too happy and have too much going for me to get involved in anyything like that
my whole family hates me
and i dont care at all
the second they fucking wrote me off i stopped caring
throughout the day im two completely different people.
at shcool im the happiest person ever. im so talkative and just so godddd damn happy.
i love all my friends
and i love just..i dont kno..i hate school but il ike being there seeing all the cute kids that i love
and thne on days i get to see my kime and other kids im just :-)
all smiles.
then when i get home im a different person. i mean im still happy but idont show it at all. i hate being at home. its what some would call a broken home? maybe
i dont know. but ihate it here. no one likes me. no one cares what i have to say. everyone is against me. and i just cant wait to go to school in the morning or just leave. thats why ive been so ampt to get a job. like soon. but i dont know. i just cant stand being in a place wher im not wanted or liked or even cared about. i can tell everyone hates me here. and i dont really care at all because dude..if youre so quick to fucking write me off..im even quicker to fucking forget every ounce or respcet i have for you. and right now i have no respect for anyone
everytime i attempt to have a conversation with my mom in results in a WW3 fight. literally. its sick as hell. it happened what 3 times just the weekend. sunday i actually left for like the 3 time. i hate it here. i just had to leave. by sunday night i didnt have a voice. thats how histerical i was. i hate when i get like that
its not me at all
im a happy person. honestly. ive never been so fucking happy about myself in soooooo long
actually ive neverbeen this happy
and im not about to let my mom or any of her offspring or even her siblings get in the way of that
i told my mom she is literally heading in a future where im not going to be apart of. and she wont be apart of mine. she doesnt seem to be phased by it at all. but whatevr. she doent know how serious i am. its sick as hell. i mean i want her to be there..why wouldnt i..every since this year ive always liked her for the most part. shes overprotective but im getting over it. but these past few months it has got out of control.
im just SO sick of it. its to the point i cant even live here anymroe. but im going to try. im not talking toanyone in my family. if something needs to be said they can talk to me.
but im done other then that. worst part= FIVE DAY WEEKEND. im not looking forward to it at all. i hate weekends. honestly what teenager hates weekends? one that has to stay home with a family that literally hates her and gangs up on her all the time. thats who. and thats me. i seriously dont have a winterbreak at all. i hate it. i wont be able to see any one i want to see. especailly the kids that are in college now. i really miss alot of them. and all the kids i havnet talked to at all this year. i hate it. thers alot of stuff i that i miss about the people i used to hang out with.
jessica and jd for one. i miss them to death. melanie..shes a different personnow so i want to get my old mels back. terribly. i miss her to death. the old mel that is. BMD -beforemiked. DONT GET ME WRONG. miked and i are good now. hes sweet as hell actually and i hate the fact we wasted time not being friends when hes actually really cool. but mel changed this past year i guess. maybe longer..but id otn know. shes still mel but i dont know i just miss the mel freshmen year. the one that never worked and alls she did was get money from momsssss<33 i miss that. i miss our movie nights..our fucking football possey. godddid give anythingto have that back. i was the happiest back then. not a care in thew orld..except ian but thats another story id rather keep...just not talk about. i promise. but we had the best times. so many inside jokes. so many long hiliarious nights that ...goddd i wouldnt trade for the world.
kimeee. i still talk to her all the time. infacti just got back from hanging out with her. if i iddnt have her i dotn know where id be. shes my best friend. of course i have other best friends but shes honestly...asjfsdklf
she knows me better then anyone ever. i swear. she knows everything..down to the GOREY GOREY DETAILS..and the get pretty gorey. especailly this past year. but im glad to say tahts all behind me now. and those of you who know whatim talking abuot...really dont. there is sooo much no one knows. stuff i cant even come to agreement with myself on what actually happened but ANYWAYS.
i miss eric even though we hung out a few times over the summer. but i really liked him and i dont think we ended very well? i dontk now. hes sweet as hell and id love to hang out with him but..things change.
i miss my aller-g. alot. i never evne see her anymore. its sad. really...:-(
shes a senior this year and i feel like we're drifting apart. i hate it. shes the one person that can truely make me piss my pants from laughing. we clicked right away my freshmen year and barely evne talked last. i hate it.
i miss erik..he hates me but..whats new. ive seriously had the biggest crush on him since i saw him when i was a freshmen. since then we got kinda close and now i think he doesnt even want to be my friend..but you win some..you lose some.
derrick is seriosuly and honeslt my favorite. i swear. ive known him for almost 3 years. and hes without a doubt one of the best friends ive ever had. hes so trusting and funny as hell. he's seriously made this year alot better. lunch and 4 hour with him is tons of fun. i seriously hope we dont stop talking when he graduates. id be crushed. hes one of the FEW guy friends that you can actually trust..enought to tell him who you like!
hes the best. and the fact his girlfriend is the biggest doll makes me adore him even more! yea. hes the baby daddy dubber. <33
theres a ton of kids i just miss. evans, mikepee, liz (even though we've hung out like twice!) shes sweet as hell, and about half of churchill and stevenson.
imiss all those kids. corey fucking hoffman...there are no words. i love him. ryan<3, liz and steph, ahh i dont even know righ tnow.
then there are the kids i love at franklin...that i never even get to hang out with. ryan<33, stephers!, my bitty, nicole, slack(even though we havent had the best year), my bunners<3
ah too many others. i just cante ven imagine what would happen if i didnt have them.
anyways back to the point. somethings gotta change or else im gunan go crazy
and all im going to remember about being 16 is how much i hated my family and how much i was hated. and how much i missed out. all because my mom hates me..she does. i know it.
but anyways...that was a little personaly so...heres today entry...
today was amazing..this is the longest entry everrr..
but today was sweet
i was in a horrid mood this morning. thanks to charlton it turned out to be a sweet day.
he came up to me and gave me " the pimp handbook"
alls he does is talk about being a pimp...and how im a pimp..
and how theres this group of pimps..at franklin
its the funniest thing. he even made pimp bracelets.(made of paper of course ;-))
but this handbook is the funniest thing ever written. i almost died from laughing so hard.
literally my stomach hurted SO bad. i couldmnt even listne to him read anymore
i had to leave. i almost died. literally.klasjfskldf
i love that kid. he always puts me in a good mood.
but i might be dropped from my 1 hour?
who knows.
too many damn tardies. whatev. mrs. abbott doesnt hate me so i think im good.
chemistry;i dont suck anymore. i have a quiz tomorrow and im gunan kick ass. or ill try :-)
gov't; im doing good i guesss...B+..pretty damn good. for me at least
child dev. me and dubes did an amazing project on downsyndrome ( thanks tony ;-))
had a 52 pointer the other day. kicked its ass. 50 fo meee! <3
student ass. haha its fun as hell. the schduling office is the place to be 5th hour.
algerbra 2? should i even go there? i dont want to. i had a good day.
then kimes phil andjessica went to courts work
it was a good time. i got an interview there..
California Pizza Kitchen in laurel park...
i dont know if i should even go cuz when ig ot home...there was a message for me from American Eagle and well i calle dthem back and...
I GOT THE FUCKING JOB AT AMERICAN EAGLE BITCHES ;-)
i literally started bouncing off the walls. everywhere. i called everyone i know
well not really buti called alot of people
i was so happy
i still am.
ahhhhh
and mrs. cosgrove wrote me the nicest letter of recommondation. i loved it. ill post it soon. its the best. shes a doll<3
but i really should shut the fuck up
i talk to damn much
this entry better at least get ONE comment
bitches.
thanks for reading if you did. im sure it took a long time...now just comment :-)
thanks loves<333