Doctor Who // Not Her Doctor
Title: Not Her Doctor
Author: Sarah
Rating: PG
Words: 1039
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Summary: No matter how hard she tries, Rose still can't accept him as her Doctor.
Notes: Spoilers for Journey's End.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Rose stood in the doorway of her flat’s spare bedroom. After settling into this alternate universe, she decided she wanted to be on her own, without her mum, dad, and the new baby. She’d been on her own for months, but not anymore.
She stood in the doorway, holding her coffee mug tightly in both hands, watching the Doctor sleep. The Doctor. Not her Doctor. This human copycat of the man she loved would never be what she needed him to be for her, but he didn’t even know. He couldn’t know. Rose played along as if everything was all right, secretly hoping that her Doctor would come back for her.
The Doctor lay there, oblivious to Rose’s watchful eye. The sheet rose and fell with his steady, sleep-filled breathing, the thump-thump sound of his single heart ringing in the silent air.
Rose let a tear fall from her eye as she walked away from his room, back to the kitchen. She placed her coffee mug on the counter and buried her head in her hands.
They were exactly the same in almost every way, yet different at the same time. Apart from the obvious one heart and the prospect of him looking a little older in a year’s time, there was nothing about him that wasn’t the same as her Doctor.
He still babbled on about space talk that Rose couldn’t understand. He still wore trainers and pinstripe suits. His hair was still a wild mess of brown, sticking up at terrible angles when he woke up. He even kissed her the same as her Doctor did, when they were alone in the TARDIS between journeys through the stars. And as much as everything was the same with the human version of the Doctor, Rose still couldn’t find it in herself to accept him as her Doctor.
But she tried. She told herself that a Doctor was better than no Doctor at all. All of her hard work since he left her in Norway had paid off, in a strange sort of way. Her goal was to get him back, and it seemed as though she had.
She hadn’t fallen for him because of his looks. She couldn’t - he might change at any moment. But she’d fallen for his mind, his wit, the way his eyes lit up at the smallest thing. His eyes were always the same, even if they had changed color. There was still a hint of a strange combination of mystery, pain, and hope that had carried on when he regenerated. It had even passed on to his human form.
She let this new Doctor love her, because he had the same feelings as his Time Lord model. And it felt the same. He put his hands in the same place around her waist as he held her against him. His kiss was the same too. He pushed his mouth against hers, hard enough to show he wanted her, yet gentle enough to show he loved her. And all she could do was kiss him back, pretending she was loving the real thing.
“Good morning,” a voice said behind Rose, causing her to pull her head out of her hands and her mind out of her thoughts.
“Morning,” she muttered, taking a sip from her coffee.
He placed his hand gently on her back. “You all right?”
“Yeah, ‘course,” she said. “Fine.”
He nodded, changing the subject. He told himself she was just getting used to him and she wouldn’t be so standoffish once she accepted him as the Doctor. “I was thinking of getting a new suit.”
“Yeah?”
“Brown maybe.”
“No,” Rose said, too quickly. “I mean, what’s wrong the blue one you’ve got?”
“Really? I’ve always thought the brown one suited me better.”
It did. That’s exactly why Rose didn’t want him to have it; it’d make him even more like the man he was trying to be and the man she was trying to let go of. “Nah,” she lied. “Blue goes better with your eyes.”
He shrugged. “If you say so. Oh I know!” he cried out, as if he just had a brilliant epiphany. “What if I got a bright pink suit? Always wanted one of those.” He was smiling wide enough to reach across the Themes.
Rose laughed. She couldn’t help herself. “Don’t expect me to go out in public with you wearing something like that.”
He smiled at her, leaning on the opposite side of the counter to face her. “Oh, Rose Tyler, I’ve missed that laugh.”
She bit her lip as the corners of her mouth curled into a smile. In so many ways, he was the same Doctor she knew, but in so many other ways, he wasn’t. And that fact was always on her mind.
“So, shall we go to the shop later and pick something that’s not brown or pink?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, sure,” she replied. She was trying. This was all part of trying, but it was so hard. “Just give me twenty minutes to get dressed properly.”
“Of course,” he said. “I’ll just go get out of my pajamas.” He turned around and headed back down the hall towards his room.
Rose stood up, carrying her mostly empty coffee mug to the sink. She dumped the remains and began washing out the cup. As she finished, she set it on the drain board to dry. She walked back to her room to find something nice to wear for her outing with the Doctor.
The Doctor. Still the Doctor. Not her Doctor. Rose knew that no matter what color suit he wore, no matter how he held her while they kissed, and no matter how much he babbled on about space, he’d never really be her Doctor. She wasn’t sure if it was because of his single heartbeat or the age already setting in on his face, but there was something that just wasn’t the same.
Rose was past the point of trying. She was pretending. And she’d have to keep pretending. She’d put up a façade and feign her love for this Doctor while she waited for her Doctor to realize his mistake and come back for her.
Author: Sarah
Rating: PG
Words: 1039
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Summary: No matter how hard she tries, Rose still can't accept him as her Doctor.
Notes: Spoilers for Journey's End.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Rose stood in the doorway of her flat’s spare bedroom. After settling into this alternate universe, she decided she wanted to be on her own, without her mum, dad, and the new baby. She’d been on her own for months, but not anymore.
She stood in the doorway, holding her coffee mug tightly in both hands, watching the Doctor sleep. The Doctor. Not her Doctor. This human copycat of the man she loved would never be what she needed him to be for her, but he didn’t even know. He couldn’t know. Rose played along as if everything was all right, secretly hoping that her Doctor would come back for her.
The Doctor lay there, oblivious to Rose’s watchful eye. The sheet rose and fell with his steady, sleep-filled breathing, the thump-thump sound of his single heart ringing in the silent air.
Rose let a tear fall from her eye as she walked away from his room, back to the kitchen. She placed her coffee mug on the counter and buried her head in her hands.
They were exactly the same in almost every way, yet different at the same time. Apart from the obvious one heart and the prospect of him looking a little older in a year’s time, there was nothing about him that wasn’t the same as her Doctor.
He still babbled on about space talk that Rose couldn’t understand. He still wore trainers and pinstripe suits. His hair was still a wild mess of brown, sticking up at terrible angles when he woke up. He even kissed her the same as her Doctor did, when they were alone in the TARDIS between journeys through the stars. And as much as everything was the same with the human version of the Doctor, Rose still couldn’t find it in herself to accept him as her Doctor.
But she tried. She told herself that a Doctor was better than no Doctor at all. All of her hard work since he left her in Norway had paid off, in a strange sort of way. Her goal was to get him back, and it seemed as though she had.
She hadn’t fallen for him because of his looks. She couldn’t - he might change at any moment. But she’d fallen for his mind, his wit, the way his eyes lit up at the smallest thing. His eyes were always the same, even if they had changed color. There was still a hint of a strange combination of mystery, pain, and hope that had carried on when he regenerated. It had even passed on to his human form.
She let this new Doctor love her, because he had the same feelings as his Time Lord model. And it felt the same. He put his hands in the same place around her waist as he held her against him. His kiss was the same too. He pushed his mouth against hers, hard enough to show he wanted her, yet gentle enough to show he loved her. And all she could do was kiss him back, pretending she was loving the real thing.
“Good morning,” a voice said behind Rose, causing her to pull her head out of her hands and her mind out of her thoughts.
“Morning,” she muttered, taking a sip from her coffee.
He placed his hand gently on her back. “You all right?”
“Yeah, ‘course,” she said. “Fine.”
He nodded, changing the subject. He told himself she was just getting used to him and she wouldn’t be so standoffish once she accepted him as the Doctor. “I was thinking of getting a new suit.”
“Yeah?”
“Brown maybe.”
“No,” Rose said, too quickly. “I mean, what’s wrong the blue one you’ve got?”
“Really? I’ve always thought the brown one suited me better.”
It did. That’s exactly why Rose didn’t want him to have it; it’d make him even more like the man he was trying to be and the man she was trying to let go of. “Nah,” she lied. “Blue goes better with your eyes.”
He shrugged. “If you say so. Oh I know!” he cried out, as if he just had a brilliant epiphany. “What if I got a bright pink suit? Always wanted one of those.” He was smiling wide enough to reach across the Themes.
Rose laughed. She couldn’t help herself. “Don’t expect me to go out in public with you wearing something like that.”
He smiled at her, leaning on the opposite side of the counter to face her. “Oh, Rose Tyler, I’ve missed that laugh.”
She bit her lip as the corners of her mouth curled into a smile. In so many ways, he was the same Doctor she knew, but in so many other ways, he wasn’t. And that fact was always on her mind.
“So, shall we go to the shop later and pick something that’s not brown or pink?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, sure,” she replied. She was trying. This was all part of trying, but it was so hard. “Just give me twenty minutes to get dressed properly.”
“Of course,” he said. “I’ll just go get out of my pajamas.” He turned around and headed back down the hall towards his room.
Rose stood up, carrying her mostly empty coffee mug to the sink. She dumped the remains and began washing out the cup. As she finished, she set it on the drain board to dry. She walked back to her room to find something nice to wear for her outing with the Doctor.
The Doctor. Still the Doctor. Not her Doctor. Rose knew that no matter what color suit he wore, no matter how he held her while they kissed, and no matter how much he babbled on about space, he’d never really be her Doctor. She wasn’t sure if it was because of his single heartbeat or the age already setting in on his face, but there was something that just wasn’t the same.
Rose was past the point of trying. She was pretending. And she’d have to keep pretending. She’d put up a façade and feign her love for this Doctor while she waited for her Doctor to realize his mistake and come back for her.