(no subject)
so what makes you play this game
with results always the same
and nothing but bad reputations to gain
it speaks to me like all is fine
and i could cry
from all the bends and breaks that i
took this time
when happieness is based on lies
its so hard its too hard to tell the truth
i'm officially heartbroken. i am so stupid..i am so stupid. stupid stupid stupid..i am one of the stupidest person i know. i am so fucking stupid. God, when i have 2am conversations with kayla, brian, and brandon and when brandon tells me that none of it is true i should of listened. why did i pay any attention to that bullshit neil was telling me? why wasn't i smart enough to listen to brandon? i'm so let down and it's not fair. it's not very fair. and as i sit here and cry my eyes out, there is nothing anyone can do to make it better. my life officially sucks. i haven't been heartbroken since last summer and i guess this is my time to be heartbroken again. not even when i liked Thomas i was never really heartbroken bc i really didn't care. but not that i have tons of ppl telling me that Neil is a bastard i didn't listen. i am so stupid. i am so frickin' stupid. it's not fair. it's not fair. even kayla said he was a jerk. why didnt i listen to her? why didn't i pay attention to anything my friends were telling me? i just wish that i did, and if i did i wouldn't be here crying my eyes out. and this IS NOT FAIR. i hate this. and not even YellowCard can make this alright bc it's not. he said i was weird. i am so let down. LET DOWN. when it all falls down..