i know you lived your life on your knees
So I'm peeking outside my window right now...the sun rays blocking my vision but I don't mind. I hear the sudden pop of fire crackers and wheels spinning fastly on bikes ridden by smiling children. A little girl just learning how to ride her bike. Riding in a straight line, not knowing if she should turn or what her next move should be so she just decides to run into the grass and hop off. She turns around jumping up and down laughing and smiling because she finally knows how to ride her bike. And she meets in the middle of the street to be embraced by loving arms. I hate fireworks. This time of year always makes me a little depressed. Everyone seems to enjoy and I will try my darndest to enjoy it this year. I'm sure this year will be different. I'm sure this year I will have a smile on my face like I once would on the 4th of July many years ago. I better at least. No, no...I wiiilllll god damnit.
My mom put me on a membership to Bally's. Maybe she's hinting to me that I'm getting hefty? Probably not. It should be good. I know I'm not fat. I just want to get toned. I'm going on Friday. Hopefully sign up for some Kickboxing and Yoga classes. I'm actually kind of excited. Maybe I will get some abs?? I just need to stay focused and know that running or something is better than sitting on my ass at 12 o clock in the afternoon watching Saved by the Bell and eating granola bars.
Attention Ms Kelly...What are you doing tomorrow (thursday?) I know that lately you haven't been working on Thursday's, so I was wooooonndering if you would possibly like to hang out or something. I need some accessories for my cute outfit that I'm wearing on Friday to the show. Which reminds me, you're still going right? Anyways, call me, or comment or something. I want to see your face darling.
I'm in the mood to paint. Yet I don't have any supplies. I don't have any money to GET supplies. Hmmm, I might have to get stuff tomorrow at an art store or something because I've been in an artsy fartsy mood lately and I haven't been doing anything about it.
The two little girls next door might get hurt. Seriously. The other night/morning...more like from 2-5 in the morning, they were playing outside SCREAMING and running around. Mind you these girls are PROBABLY 10...maybe younger. Good parenting? You betcha. So I swear, if I hear them screaming and running around again...they will see crazy Theresa in full effect. And they will cry. And I will laugh. :)
People make me extremely angry and dissappointed sometimes. (And NO, I'm not aiming this at one specific person so if you're about to comment on here saying I should stop talking shit, and to not talk about this on here, this isn't about you.This is about people in general.) I don't like how people are so judgemental. It hurts me to think that the people that I THOUGHT were genuine and pure can sit there and flat out talk mad SHIT about people that are close to my heart. So he's not "scene" and he doesn't "look the way you thought he would" doesn't mean that he isn't a good person. You can't sit there and say that you don't like a person after you've met them ONCE. Just because you hold such a close relationship with God doesn't mean you're a fucking angel. Actually, it doesn't make you a good person at all. So you have morals and stick to them better than other people do...that doesn't mean that you can say whatever you want and expect them not to hurt people just because they are coming out of your mouth. I lied. This isn't about people in general. I am mostly focusing this on one person that I'm not even going to name. You will more than likely not read this. And quite frankly I don't really care. I'm just venting about how disgusted I am. I got this news about a week, week and a half ago and it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. This is the second time this has happened. And I forgave you before. To you, it might not seem like such a big deal, but it is to me. Do I sit there and talk about what I think about your boyfriend? No. Why? Because I don't know him and even if I did, I don't CARE. I don't care to sit there and talk about him. You have a lot of learning to do and I'm not saying that I don't. But I think that you need to grow up if you are considering on taking the path that you are taking. You say things that are completely unneccessary and you just don't think sometimes because you feel like you are "allowed" to say them because you're 'you.' Well...other people might view you as the "nicest girl alive," because that's how I used to view you. Used to. I think of you now, as just another dumb girl who is trying way too hard to be "scene" and way too hard to be "indie." Fuck all that. Just be fucking NICE. Now I shall begin to speak of people in general. I feel that a lot of people I know, or used to REALLY know, are everything that I don't want to be around. Well maybe not A LOT of people I know or used to really know...just some of them. Just flat out judgemental and on a fucking high horse. Get off the damn horse because you're no better than anyone else. I just wish I could change so many things in this world. And I know that I can't. So I will just sit here typing at my computer, thinking of better days to come. And living in my little world trying to make it the best.
On a much happier note...eating good food while listening to Explosions in the Sky and Remembering Never with my favorite boy ever was definitely a good way to spend our 365th day together. Love.
I think I just had two mild heart attacks. Damn bottle rockets.
This was sooo much longer than what I set it out to be. I apologize for taking up your whole friends page.
Love, Theresa
ps. comments are where it's at.