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I'm having a marvelous time taking care of those fabulous kids...they are just amasing!
From tomorow the the following 15 days I'm going to take them to the beach they'll have a lot of fun...I'll specially have to look after this hiper active child, who I hope not to be that hiper, but he likes music a lot and the other people who work there since they know each other as people (according to them) say that he stays really quiet when he listens to music, which means I have a way to keep him calm, I'll just have to sing for him. I'm feeling some kid of Mary Poppins because she sang for the Banks' children too...anyway I just can't wait for tomorrow...Speacking of tomorrow I'll have to get up early so I should be in bed again. Yes, again. That wasn't a mistake I was already sleeping , but my sweet like kitten decided to jump on me and start liking my eyes (like he always do when he wants me awake) I looked at him and he was looking at me with that "I didn't do it" face...He is just trés sweet.
Thta's my plans for tomorrow but today I had one of the most touching conversations with my mana Megan...we started talking about disney and Michael Ball, one of my mana's favourite sinder ever, then we passed to our musical "carreer", all I've studied and even a like but healthy and instructive argument about E an F sharps...what a thing to talk about ?!?!?!
All of this conversation brought me nack old memories that I'd,sometimes,prefer not to talk about my musical and personal past, that is actually related to music and everything else around it...all my desires and wishes and hopes and dreams..."I burned most of my song sheets and I refuse to touch on my cello " I told Megs and of course as a very curious person she is, she wanted to know why and that why brought back even more memories ... "and I know why I cannae play the cello anymore ... coz of my cousins ...my aunt forced them to start playing instruments because I did and she forces them to do everything I did in the past and they have the obligation of being better then me in everything I did and that they are doing and I, sometimes, feel inferior" Isn't that a thing that you'd feel inferior too ? Your aunt and your own cousins compeeting in the present with thing you did in the past ?!?!?!
And the conversation kept going and I kept on telling what had happened to me and is still happening ... " this year when I was failing in school, in the 2nd term remeber?!? They ( my uncle and aunt )arrived here saying that my cousin was the best and that he is better than me and I feel crap. I always avoid to talk about music and school and everything around my aunt and uncle because they always want their children to be better, they even create competition between their own children, my little cousin Ana went to the scouts coz she likes to be free my other cousin, her brother,cousin is exactly the oposite and he has a freak health, but since my little one wanted to go the condition was Ana only goes if Pedro goes too...that's so wrong"...what do you think about this...it's really wrong isn't it ? well..."they are creating enymies not brother and sister!
How would you feel in my place ?!?!.... if I haven't left Fátima and everything I had there, music , english, church choir.....they would have put their children there like they actually did .... my cousin Pedro was being forced to learn cello when he doesn't like it a bit he rather prefers the piano.
It's so unfair and I feel so bad ...they even started to have englsih coz I was getting sorta good at it !" To what my sweet Megs replied :"I would say something to my mum and dad and if that didnt work i would say something to my aunt and uncle." she is right but I've tried it before "I already did to mum and dad but they always say to not create more confusion around .... that's why it's so difficult for me to touch the memories I brought from the land I was rased "
Here it started a really moving conversation for me really touching that meant/means lots and lots to me ... "Come live with me NOW. I'll teach you the flute" To what I said with all my heart "I want too. I so want to"...Something that made me put everything out and start crying even more, was this little sentence that my mana said "Promise to stay friends for ever?" I tolly cracked I wasn't very good but now I really needed to hear her saying something nice I just never thought it would be SOOOO nice.
Me:"Promise, I SO WANT THAT !Don't make me cry more I LUVYA LOTS AND LOTS "
Megs: " lol luv ya more and more and im not making u cry SILLY!!!!"
She touched my heart so deep...I can't even put it in words, but you know how much I love ya don't you ?
it was a day full of emotions and good news...
Luvya xXx
To Megs my mana doida:
You have made me a different person since we met...well, not different you just helped and pulled me out of that darkness and lonelyness and a fake world with lies and desrespect I was drown in. I have no words to describe this amasing friendship we've created together, and it really seems that the bases of a wonderful friendship needs to be something strong...in this case something fake that came out and desapeared forever I promise, but that did actually helped to build the relation we've today!
As I said above you you gave me a real pull and you just brought back the real Alexandra, that have been hide for so long, and I ouldn't barelly remember how she really looked, act, laugh ( I didn't really know the true meaning of that word for quite sometime).
A word to describe you ?!? It's COMPLETELY impossible because you are beautiful ( even though you say you are not, you are and will always be to me ), you are inteligent, funny, doida, pateta, and the most important thing you are what I use to call an EXCELENT FRIEND AND MANA !
ADOROOOOOOO-TEEEEEEE MUITOOOOOOOOOOO !