(no subject)
I used to be so friendly and social and fun... and now I'm so... not.
The most fun I've had at any parties recently was one where I only knew basically like 2 people. I got drunk and made friends with a bunch of people who I didn't feel like were judging me. With the theatre people and the gay community I feel like every move I make is being judged. Everything I do, people will look at me different.
I realized a new thing that upsets me. Josh will never associate me with the good times we had. He'll never equate my name with playing trivial pursuit or going to Wendy's or watching movies or going to Halloween Horror Nights or the long rides or almost running out of gas or Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. He'll always remember the bad. He'll remember me being a crazy overdramatic bitch.
I sorta hate a lot of people and I don't really know why I hate them, but for some reason I usually decide that they are the ones who hate me.
I look at my buddy list and think, I don't really want to talk to any of these people... and I guess none of them want to talk to me either.
Why do I feel like I have become Sandra Bullock in Crash???... and Meg White is my Brendan Frasier.... but the question remains who's my Maria?? Who do I call when I fall down the stairs?
The most fun I've had at any parties recently was one where I only knew basically like 2 people. I got drunk and made friends with a bunch of people who I didn't feel like were judging me. With the theatre people and the gay community I feel like every move I make is being judged. Everything I do, people will look at me different.
I realized a new thing that upsets me. Josh will never associate me with the good times we had. He'll never equate my name with playing trivial pursuit or going to Wendy's or watching movies or going to Halloween Horror Nights or the long rides or almost running out of gas or Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. He'll always remember the bad. He'll remember me being a crazy overdramatic bitch.
I sorta hate a lot of people and I don't really know why I hate them, but for some reason I usually decide that they are the ones who hate me.
I look at my buddy list and think, I don't really want to talk to any of these people... and I guess none of them want to talk to me either.
Why do I feel like I have become Sandra Bullock in Crash???... and Meg White is my Brendan Frasier.... but the question remains who's my Maria?? Who do I call when I fall down the stairs?