(no subject)
Today, was horrible! I've been finding it really hard to wake up in the morning. I woke up early today before work to find out the status of my application, it still hasn't gone through. I was 5 minutes late for work screwed up an order I swear its like im hearing things and writing them down on paper that are the complete opposite from what someone ordered im a dumbass. We got really busy and I always tend to have that confused look on my face when were busy I hate it. Its so obvious too. There was a blind man that came in with his family today he was the nicest old man ever! He kept trying to crack up jokes that really werent that funny but he kept laughing and I just want along with it. Yesterday I noticed a bruise at the back of my leg but didnt pay too much attention to it until today when I decided to look at it in the mirror and noticed I had another one of my other leg. So just out of curosity I decided to see if the latest medication Zyprexa had anything to do with my bruising. Unfortunately it did. It was one of those symptoms that state if you notice this please seek medical attention immediately this could cause hospitalization and could be fatal. So yeah I freaked out. I called my parents told them what was up and drove home to Leamington. I was waiting in emergency for hours and finally I got in at midnight. They thought that it might have something to do with my blood cell count but after blood work it turned out I was okay. I was honestly so scared today, I drove home crying because I was kinda scared and im just really in a confused state of mind like all I keep asking myself is who am I? These pills control my emotions I feel they do anyways. Im trying to figure out what was real in my life and what wasn't everything is so complicated and confusing. Anyways I wanted to eat so badly a few hours ago but I had to say out loud to myself Anita dont eat and I had to repeat it over and over again. I have a doctors appointment he needs to take me off of this shit and leave me on Efforex and Lithium I was fine on those drugs. Tomorrow will be a good day though, ill be with some of my favourite people in Michigan! I really like going out there its just fun! Anyways thats it for me.