Whos up there? Random Thoughts
What to write about? well im done with my 1st year of college, thank the lord baby jesus, so thankfully im goin to Vegas Baby to visit my bro.
But honestly who reads these blogs i wonder or do they just float in cyber heaven forever, no one knows.
Either way, this year has probably been the most trying year of my life. Not because of finals or projects, new surroundings or no friends. No, finding out my dad was addicted to prescription anti depressants and seeing my grandma who literally raised me die in my arms were probably the worst things that could ever happen, ever. Its weird how God ends up being the only thing to turn to at ur lowest even for me, the person who skiped out on mass everytime in catholic school. its weird, im still not really religious, but fuck where else do u go. You need to feel like something or someone is taking care of the person you loved most in this world. But then again, how can God let the person you love the most slip away in your very arms while you beg them to stay. To stay and watch you graduate, get married, have kids, be successful, any of it, why does god let it happen, why does it have to happen.I guess its the natural order of things, but its hard to be rational when u see life taken away in your hands. Maybe one day someone will read this, if not, then maybe my grandma will.