I just want to cry...
The lab technician has just been to take mum's blood; was supposed to be here between 12 and 3pm, actually arrived just after 3pm. One other hurdle dealt with, now I just have to wait until Monday for the doctor visit. Three and a half days of mum not being able to move more than a foot a minute, not being able to get herself food or a cup of tea. Struggling to stand up and get herself to the toilet even when using her walker.
I hate to say it, but I hate being at home with her and having this constant dread that she is going to fall or slip again. I'm not being selfish when I say thiat, I just didn't realise how stressed I would feel about the whole thing. Her deafness also is getting to me as I have to pretty much yell at her for her to hear me. I don't like doing it, especially if she still can't hear me and I have to yell on the verge of screaming... then try to find alternate words for what I'm saying to see if she can get my gist.
I find myself often on the verge of tears when I see her struggle and I get frustrated that she can't hear me properly as I'm trying to give her a bit of advice on not pushing her walker way out in front of her when she's trying to walk. She ends up leaning over at an almost 90° angle, which I think is putting more pressure on her already fucked up knees. I keep pushing the walker back towards her and asking her to try and stand more upright but she either can't do it, or just doesn't get it.
She freaks me pretty much all the time when she's sitting in her armchair, she won't put her feet flat on the floor and instead has them stretched out in front of her, all the while she is sliding dangerously close to the edge of the seat. This is how she slips out of the chair... she falls asleep and down she slides. I had to get her to adjust her position at least three times as it was just making me so nervous.
I really hope that the doctor can persuade her to go into a rest home, it's the only way I'm going to avoid being a stressed, nervous wreck. In honesty she can't really take care of herself anymore and I can't take care of her either as I need to work. She's just going to go downhill faster if she stays at home, and I hope she can see that.
I hate to say it, but I hate being at home with her and having this constant dread that she is going to fall or slip again. I'm not being selfish when I say thiat, I just didn't realise how stressed I would feel about the whole thing. Her deafness also is getting to me as I have to pretty much yell at her for her to hear me. I don't like doing it, especially if she still can't hear me and I have to yell on the verge of screaming... then try to find alternate words for what I'm saying to see if she can get my gist.
I find myself often on the verge of tears when I see her struggle and I get frustrated that she can't hear me properly as I'm trying to give her a bit of advice on not pushing her walker way out in front of her when she's trying to walk. She ends up leaning over at an almost 90° angle, which I think is putting more pressure on her already fucked up knees. I keep pushing the walker back towards her and asking her to try and stand more upright but she either can't do it, or just doesn't get it.
She freaks me pretty much all the time when she's sitting in her armchair, she won't put her feet flat on the floor and instead has them stretched out in front of her, all the while she is sliding dangerously close to the edge of the seat. This is how she slips out of the chair... she falls asleep and down she slides. I had to get her to adjust her position at least three times as it was just making me so nervous.
I really hope that the doctor can persuade her to go into a rest home, it's the only way I'm going to avoid being a stressed, nervous wreck. In honesty she can't really take care of herself anymore and I can't take care of her either as I need to work. She's just going to go downhill faster if she stays at home, and I hope she can see that.