Undecided....
So I can't decide whether I am excited for Homecoming or not. Everything seemed to be great in the beginning but slowly started spiraling downward. And it's all because of Matt. And I know technically it's not his fault, technically I am partly to blame. Ever since he decided he'd go our plans changed completely. We're not going to Burger King anymore, which really makes me angry. We were meeting Jamie S. and her entourage there and now that we aren't she is really mad at me. She sent me a nasty email telling me how angry she was and questioned our friendship. It's not that I'm so upset about that, it's just now I have drama to deal with and I hate drama. I do my best to avoid it. I guess now it's beyond my control. But it's not only that. It's the fact that I'm the one telling her all of he changes and whatnot. And since I'm the bearer of bad news, I get all of the blame and anger and resentmet.
And that's not even the worst of it. I've been beating myself up all day today because I feel so bad. First Adriana was going to come, I told Christine, she said she was fine with it, not that she had much of a choice. But then once Matt was invited suddenly no one wants her to go. And I can't really do much about it. And I don't want her to go just so everybody can ignore her, and make her feel uncomfortable, when they don't want her there. They want it to be just "our group". Whatever....so now she's going with Jamie. And I know it's going to be awkward with her too, and I feel so bad because this is her first/last homecoming and it's being sabotaged at the last minute. I'm going to continuously apologize for it and hopefully she won't be mad at me because that's the last thing I need. Now that all of this has happened, it has really put a drag on my excitement. And everybody else is excited because they weren't the ones burdened with their stupidity. Now I'm on the edge with Adriana and Jamie S. and that's really not what I wanted to come out of this whole thing. I swear if he's not worth every fucking bit of this I'm going to scream and do something....I don't know what yet, but I'll figure it out.
Now I've had my hair done for like four hours, I haven't been able to sleep because I'll mess up my hair. I can't even watch TV comfortably without putting my head back, and I'm super tired and all I want to do now is sleep. I'm extremely frustratedddddddd. But I guess the good thing is that this is the first year that I've really liked my hair. Before it was just ok, but I really like it this year.
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I could go on. But I won't.
And that's not even the worst of it. I've been beating myself up all day today because I feel so bad. First Adriana was going to come, I told Christine, she said she was fine with it, not that she had much of a choice. But then once Matt was invited suddenly no one wants her to go. And I can't really do much about it. And I don't want her to go just so everybody can ignore her, and make her feel uncomfortable, when they don't want her there. They want it to be just "our group". Whatever....so now she's going with Jamie. And I know it's going to be awkward with her too, and I feel so bad because this is her first/last homecoming and it's being sabotaged at the last minute. I'm going to continuously apologize for it and hopefully she won't be mad at me because that's the last thing I need. Now that all of this has happened, it has really put a drag on my excitement. And everybody else is excited because they weren't the ones burdened with their stupidity. Now I'm on the edge with Adriana and Jamie S. and that's really not what I wanted to come out of this whole thing. I swear if he's not worth every fucking bit of this I'm going to scream and do something....I don't know what yet, but I'll figure it out.
Now I've had my hair done for like four hours, I haven't been able to sleep because I'll mess up my hair. I can't even watch TV comfortably without putting my head back, and I'm super tired and all I want to do now is sleep. I'm extremely frustratedddddddd. But I guess the good thing is that this is the first year that I've really liked my hair. Before it was just ok, but I really like it this year.
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I could go on. But I won't.