don't want to walk alone
there are very few times in my life where i have been scared to the point of tearing up as soon as i think of something. confused? i'll explain.
my grandma is 90 years old and going into surgery on friday morning. in the back of my head i have a really good feeling that i know she'll make it through this and be okay. like she has been with the other many other surgeries that she's had in her life. the thing is that many doctors have refused to operate on her because of either her age, how many surgeries she's had, and sometimes her heart/blood. but- there have been a couple of times that she has come out of surgery and been very weak. but somehow she's pulled through. i don't know how she does it. i love her so much. she's my only grandparent that is left living. i feel like a little girl for this, but i kinda want her to be alive to be at my wedding whenever that will be. i know that she's determine to live longer than her mother(who was 98 when she died). and it's not like she's losing her memory- everything is still all there. sometimes it takes a little bit longer for her to remember but we're talking any where from 30 seconds to 1 minute- very short time.
i guess i'm just a little bit nervous about her having surgery. i talked to her tonight to tell her that she'll be in my prays on friday, and when i got off the phone with her- my eyes were starting to tear up. i don't want to lose her, but then again i guess i can't be too upset with God if he does take her. she's has lived a nice long life. i hope i don't feel the same as when my grandpa died.(i was upset that i really didn't get to say good- bye to him when he was still alive.)
i've been having some dreams ever since my mom told me last weekend that my grandma was having surgery. the one that really stick out in my mind in the one that i had today when i was in the shower. shw went into surgery, but didn't come out of it. and i was crushed. i went into a shell and didn't talk to anyone, not even my close friends or roommates. my personality totally changed. i went from cherful to hateful, and depressed. i was crying all the time and couldn't be comfort because i didn't want people to be around me or to touch me. i started snapping at people and being mean to them. my family and friends were worried about me. i don't know how the dream end today, because some how i got jerked back into reality and got out of the shower.
Her surgery is on friday at 7:30 am (so thursday night- i might not be sleeping too good) my mom is talking my grandma and her(grandma's brother) younger brother out for their favorite meal. i hear this and thought about a person having their last supper. ahh!!! i have to stop thinking like this. i'm pretty sure that everything will be okay. if you guys pray, please keep my grandma in your prays. and if you don't, then please just hope that she pulls through this surgery. i'll feel better and less nervous after i find out the outsome of the surgery. love ya'll
my grandma is 90 years old and going into surgery on friday morning. in the back of my head i have a really good feeling that i know she'll make it through this and be okay. like she has been with the other many other surgeries that she's had in her life. the thing is that many doctors have refused to operate on her because of either her age, how many surgeries she's had, and sometimes her heart/blood. but- there have been a couple of times that she has come out of surgery and been very weak. but somehow she's pulled through. i don't know how she does it. i love her so much. she's my only grandparent that is left living. i feel like a little girl for this, but i kinda want her to be alive to be at my wedding whenever that will be. i know that she's determine to live longer than her mother(who was 98 when she died). and it's not like she's losing her memory- everything is still all there. sometimes it takes a little bit longer for her to remember but we're talking any where from 30 seconds to 1 minute- very short time.
i guess i'm just a little bit nervous about her having surgery. i talked to her tonight to tell her that she'll be in my prays on friday, and when i got off the phone with her- my eyes were starting to tear up. i don't want to lose her, but then again i guess i can't be too upset with God if he does take her. she's has lived a nice long life. i hope i don't feel the same as when my grandpa died.(i was upset that i really didn't get to say good- bye to him when he was still alive.)
i've been having some dreams ever since my mom told me last weekend that my grandma was having surgery. the one that really stick out in my mind in the one that i had today when i was in the shower. shw went into surgery, but didn't come out of it. and i was crushed. i went into a shell and didn't talk to anyone, not even my close friends or roommates. my personality totally changed. i went from cherful to hateful, and depressed. i was crying all the time and couldn't be comfort because i didn't want people to be around me or to touch me. i started snapping at people and being mean to them. my family and friends were worried about me. i don't know how the dream end today, because some how i got jerked back into reality and got out of the shower.
Her surgery is on friday at 7:30 am (so thursday night- i might not be sleeping too good) my mom is talking my grandma and her(grandma's brother) younger brother out for their favorite meal. i hear this and thought about a person having their last supper. ahh!!! i have to stop thinking like this. i'm pretty sure that everything will be okay. if you guys pray, please keep my grandma in your prays. and if you don't, then please just hope that she pulls through this surgery. i'll feel better and less nervous after i find out the outsome of the surgery. love ya'll