de temps en temps...je pense
SO job hunting is going well, i feel a very positive vibe coming from the andover gift shop. its like everytime i walk in there, it has a positive aura. but then again, when the owner greets you with a blinding smile, how can you feel anything but positive? aand yoga was good...sue luby is my hero. i wish i was good enough at something to be that comfortable instructing people. which leads me to my next point:
I HAVE NO TALENT. you heard me. thats what i said. no. effing. talent. i'm not saying this out of frustration, i'm saying this because its true. and its not that i don't have any confidence, i guesse its just low self esteem. i take dance, and enjoy it, and i'm an average dancer, but i'm not outstanding. so i wouldnt call that a talent. i can paint, but so can millions of other people. and my paintings don't shock anyone. i'm not very good with words like little miss gracie. grace would say that i can make people laugh, but anyone could do that. when i paint, i think about kelsey, and how she takes art lessons. i think about taking art lessons myself sometimes, but i don't have the time, and honestly, i don't want to learn how to draw from other people. people are always asking me "if i'm good at it" i say i dance "are you good?"...no. they see a dancer on tv "can you do that?" no. i can't do anything that they do on tv, because i'm short and fat, and don't belong in a white unitard. in short, i don't have anything to stand out by. i can always imagine people saying:
"thats grace she's educated on just about everything, and pretty i love her"
"thats christine, she's wicked laid back and cool i love her"
"thats meryl, she's a hippie on the inside i love her"
"thats kelsey shes quite the artist i love her"
"thats lucia she can talk to anyone, i love her"
i wish i was good at art, or dance, or just wasn't so plain. though i know its horrible to say, i wish i had a title. i wish i could be a hippie, or an emo, or a punk, or a goth, or vintage, or SOMETHING i want people to recognize me by my personality, and not just "lauren panichelli"
I HAVE NO TALENT. you heard me. thats what i said. no. effing. talent. i'm not saying this out of frustration, i'm saying this because its true. and its not that i don't have any confidence, i guesse its just low self esteem. i take dance, and enjoy it, and i'm an average dancer, but i'm not outstanding. so i wouldnt call that a talent. i can paint, but so can millions of other people. and my paintings don't shock anyone. i'm not very good with words like little miss gracie. grace would say that i can make people laugh, but anyone could do that. when i paint, i think about kelsey, and how she takes art lessons. i think about taking art lessons myself sometimes, but i don't have the time, and honestly, i don't want to learn how to draw from other people. people are always asking me "if i'm good at it" i say i dance "are you good?"...no. they see a dancer on tv "can you do that?" no. i can't do anything that they do on tv, because i'm short and fat, and don't belong in a white unitard. in short, i don't have anything to stand out by. i can always imagine people saying:
"thats grace she's educated on just about everything, and pretty i love her"
"thats christine, she's wicked laid back and cool i love her"
"thats meryl, she's a hippie on the inside i love her"
"thats kelsey shes quite the artist i love her"
"thats lucia she can talk to anyone, i love her"
i wish i was good at art, or dance, or just wasn't so plain. though i know its horrible to say, i wish i had a title. i wish i could be a hippie, or an emo, or a punk, or a goth, or vintage, or SOMETHING i want people to recognize me by my personality, and not just "lauren panichelli"