(no subject)
I've been sleeping since about 7. Just woke up to Kyle's call. God, it's the best thing aside from his face to wake up to. Of which I asked to do tonight, and it sounded almost as if, if I would have asked earlier, I could have talked her into it. But, considering I didn't ask until 11 this evening, I cannot (suck).
Blah. I hate how everything is going now. I'm being completely emo at school and annoying the crap out of everyone, including Kyle I fear, and I'm sick of it. My mom had no trust in me any more (in her defense, why should she?) so it seems the only reason that I'm allowed to do anything with Kyle anymore is simply because she knows that I would see him on my dad's weekends and/or go behind her back to see him. Which, Kyle told me to ask to stay at Bekah's tonight, which wouldn't have come out with a different result seeing that it's so late.
But God, how I wanted to go. I won't talk to him until Sunday night (unless he calls tomorrow before he leaves, to which I'm not certain I'll be available to answer. We're supposed to work in the yard tomorrow, but it might not happen until 4ish, so hopefully I'll be okay.) but worse yet, I won't see him until Monday morning at school... okay, I know... it's only two days, suck it up, right? But still... I hate being home anymore. Okay, Michelle and I are totally cool, but Mom, I just... I don't know. I know she doesn't hate me, and she says she isn't disappointed in me, but I know she is. Which, okay, she has that right... it's just tearing me up inside and I can't stand it. She had pre-marital sex, granted she was 23 or so, but still... she loved my dad (who'd slept with several people by that point. Ew. It's my dad... *pukes*) just like I love Kyle... the age difference is the same, the situations are pretty much the same. The only difference is that they were 5 years older than Kye and I are now.
It's just really hard for me right now. I know it probably wont be over until I move out for college (9 1/2 months) but, oh, how I want it to be.
All I know is that this quite possibly could become the worst weekend I've had in a looooooooong time, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Sorry to those of you at Bekah's party. I wanted to go, but several things occured to make it not possible. I hope it is going well. And I hope you're not too sick in the morning.
And I already miss him...
Blah. I hate how everything is going now. I'm being completely emo at school and annoying the crap out of everyone, including Kyle I fear, and I'm sick of it. My mom had no trust in me any more (in her defense, why should she?) so it seems the only reason that I'm allowed to do anything with Kyle anymore is simply because she knows that I would see him on my dad's weekends and/or go behind her back to see him. Which, Kyle told me to ask to stay at Bekah's tonight, which wouldn't have come out with a different result seeing that it's so late.
But God, how I wanted to go. I won't talk to him until Sunday night (unless he calls tomorrow before he leaves, to which I'm not certain I'll be available to answer. We're supposed to work in the yard tomorrow, but it might not happen until 4ish, so hopefully I'll be okay.) but worse yet, I won't see him until Monday morning at school... okay, I know... it's only two days, suck it up, right? But still... I hate being home anymore. Okay, Michelle and I are totally cool, but Mom, I just... I don't know. I know she doesn't hate me, and she says she isn't disappointed in me, but I know she is. Which, okay, she has that right... it's just tearing me up inside and I can't stand it. She had pre-marital sex, granted she was 23 or so, but still... she loved my dad (who'd slept with several people by that point. Ew. It's my dad... *pukes*) just like I love Kyle... the age difference is the same, the situations are pretty much the same. The only difference is that they were 5 years older than Kye and I are now.
It's just really hard for me right now. I know it probably wont be over until I move out for college (9 1/2 months) but, oh, how I want it to be.
All I know is that this quite possibly could become the worst weekend I've had in a looooooooong time, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Sorry to those of you at Bekah's party. I wanted to go, but several things occured to make it not possible. I hope it is going well. And I hope you're not too sick in the morning.
And I already miss him...