YAY for a 45 degree christmas!
lalala. yay x-mas. last night, bieng xmas eve and all, my famille went to the traditional midnight mass at st. pius .w00t.not so much really, since all day ever since after work i was feeling all depressed. it got worse as i was sitting in the pew waiting for mass to start.i wanted to cry right there. it didnt help that the choir singing we're kinda fudging on the harmony on the songs...
what sucks about depression is is that it hits you like a fucking wave out of nowhere. usually i dont know what causes it, all i know is that its getting harder and harder to push it down and have me be my normal self. my parents tell me its stress, and i believe them. im kind of fucking over my senior year so far cuz im worrying about things that i shouldnt worry about. im gonna get an ulcer, i swear.
of course, many teens my age have experienced this crap, and most of them have probably had it worse than i do. i am by no means saying this stuff to get attention, i just kinda feel like writing it down. im doing a hell of a lot of talking to my parents about EVERYTHING going on in my life, and its kind of helping when im not keeping any secrets or truths from my parents at all. basically, everything going on in my life they know about. even the day to day dramas that happen. i fill them in after school. its nice to do that.
so anyways, xmas was fun. i didnt go to bed until 2 am cuz i was reading, my unhappiness was still lingering from mass, then i slept in till about 10 ish. we finally opened presents round 11, in which i got some awesome stuff. funny story too. my dad got us a new compy cuz ours right now is the shit.however, when we unwrapped it,there was only one box. we completely stripped down the box to realize the actual compy was missing. only the very heavy monitor was in the box. turns out that my dad didnt realize there were two boxes to the compy package, and he thought that the compy was in the monitor....silly dad. gave keely and i a scare too. we thought that dad misunderstood us. it was really funny when we figured it all out. so anyways, im goin to bed, so have a merry one!
what sucks about depression is is that it hits you like a fucking wave out of nowhere. usually i dont know what causes it, all i know is that its getting harder and harder to push it down and have me be my normal self. my parents tell me its stress, and i believe them. im kind of fucking over my senior year so far cuz im worrying about things that i shouldnt worry about. im gonna get an ulcer, i swear.
of course, many teens my age have experienced this crap, and most of them have probably had it worse than i do. i am by no means saying this stuff to get attention, i just kinda feel like writing it down. im doing a hell of a lot of talking to my parents about EVERYTHING going on in my life, and its kind of helping when im not keeping any secrets or truths from my parents at all. basically, everything going on in my life they know about. even the day to day dramas that happen. i fill them in after school. its nice to do that.
so anyways, xmas was fun. i didnt go to bed until 2 am cuz i was reading, my unhappiness was still lingering from mass, then i slept in till about 10 ish. we finally opened presents round 11, in which i got some awesome stuff. funny story too. my dad got us a new compy cuz ours right now is the shit.however, when we unwrapped it,there was only one box. we completely stripped down the box to realize the actual compy was missing. only the very heavy monitor was in the box. turns out that my dad didnt realize there were two boxes to the compy package, and he thought that the compy was in the monitor....silly dad. gave keely and i a scare too. we thought that dad misunderstood us. it was really funny when we figured it all out. so anyways, im goin to bed, so have a merry one!