Doing Better, all i needed was a good talk about shit
Me and Josh have created a different relationship that I've never really had. See he's more of a big brother type for me, and a good friend, and also a cuddle buddy. I can cuddle with him and not have him think that it might mean something. We talked earlier about it and we both came to the fact that we're just good friends who like to cuddle and he made a true statement that any girl who can cuddle with a guy and fall asleep on him cuddling feels protected and safe.
He said to me "So, can you geuss where the safest place you feel is at?"
ME- "with you?"
JOSH- "No, close"
ME- "where?"
JOSH- "In my arms"
ME- "AAww, thats so sweet..."
I also told him if he actually had made a card with that in it he could sell it fast. OK yeah I feel safe in his arms, but thats because I like him. I consider him as one of my best friends, but right now I'm just not ready for a relationship. I need to wait a while and figure some things out. He said I make him a better person and he's not giving up on me and he said even if it takes him 10 years he thinks he's gonna get me to go out with him. He is the most patient person I've met. But he's great. O and he told me I had a singing voice of an angel and that he wants to make me audtion for American Idol. but I said the only way I will is if you Hog tie me and drag my ass over there then put me at gun point. I'm not into the whole pop rock idol shit.
You know with all the shit that has happened to him his mom asks him to stay with her for a while, but he said no. She said that there is someone in FL that is keeping him from going back to kentucky and he wouldn't tell her until she says..."Is this person, o lets say...ALLIE?" He finally admits to it after that.
YAY! I hung out with Billy last night (actually the night before seeing how it's 3:50 in the morning) and I got to hang out with Jackie and him today! Me and Jackie got caught up on our "gossip" well, our "talks" the little talks we have away from everyone because we tell eachother everything. I tell Billy everything, but there's just some stuff you can't tell a guy and you need a girl to tell because guys just wouldn't understand. So Billy no need to freak out thinking that we talk about you every time we hide somewhere to talk because mostly it's girly things. We do talk about you, but I promise it's nothing bad and most of the time you already know.
I'm still thinking about moving to GA, but I won't do it any time soon 5 reasons why...
1. I'll need a longer time to save up some money
2. I don't want to leave Jackie, Billy and Josh because I'm attached to them
3. If Josh opens his bike shop I wouldn't want to leave it
4. I need a new car first because the truck is ready to break down
5. I have a neice here that I love to death and I'm attached too her, also what would she ever do without the teachings of me?.
Right now I need to focus on saving money and college.
~allie~