attempt number twenty-eight ♻ (text)

[autophoenix]

So, I'm working on this, like, "For Dummies" guide thing for Earth and I keep getting stuck. I mean, for people like me who are from an Earth world, it's all kind of, you know, normal. I guess what I'm saying is I don't know what I should explain and what people don't need explained

Comments

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[intuitivelyapt]

Why not just let him learn as he goes along?

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[autophoenix]

Him who, exactly? This is for everyone's benefit.

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[intuitivelyapt]

I know what you're doing here.

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[autophoenix]

Obviously you don't know as much as you think. You know where assuming gets you?

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[intuitivelyapt]

To the correct answer, when it comes to you.

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[autophoenix]

No. It leads to you making an ass out of yourself.

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[intuitivelyapt]

Are you taking him on a date? Gonna bring him home to the folks? That whole shebang?

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[autophoenix]

No, i'm not. Here's a better question: has anyone ever willingly taken you home to meet their "folks"?

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[intuitivelyapt]

I'm sure they would, if I'd stop dating people with no folks to speak of.

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[autophoenix]

I doubt that.

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[intuitivelyapt]

There's nothing wrong with me! I can be perfectly presentable.

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[autophoenix]

I know you can't see right now, so I'm gonna lay it out for you. I'm making my most judgmental face at the screen right now.

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[intuitivelyapt]

Your mom loved me until I tried to kill her. But, hey. Those were desperate times. It wasn't anything personal.

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[autophoenix]

You don't get to talk about her. You don't even get to think about her.

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[intuitivelyapt]

I'm sorry she found me so charming! I can't help being this charming, you know. It's a fatal flaw.

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[autophoenix]

That's not charm, Sylar, it's sleaze.