▶ fail intro

[dcrescendo]

Last time I checked, which was maybe five freaking minutes ago, the computer never had Internet access.

If somebody's reading this, reply.

Comments

[Audio]

[material_guy]

Yo! Computers and internets can be strange like that, can't they!

Well. For better or for worse, you're in.

has no mic...for now! :U

[dcrescendo]

In what? This fruity-ass looking online community thing? No thanks, man. I only wanted to know if I was connected to the Internet. Now that I know, I'm outta here.

[material_guy]

Now, now. Since this fruity-ass online community is probably what's letting you internet at all, maybe you should take a little interest in it.

[dcrescendo]

Well, I'll be damned. This is the only page that loads properly.

How'd you guess something like that, anyway?

[material_guy]

Lucky guess. My internet doesn't go too far past this page, either. Even a computer being here makes no damn sense, so if someone new says whatever they're using to make contact is acting weird, it's probably this place.

[dcrescendo]

I feel you. I'm in a goddamn prison, and it's got a computer in it. Fucking ridiculous, man! But I don't get what you're saying. You think the problems with this site?

[material_guy]

Prison, huh? That's gotta suck... But, you're not the only one on here in one, either. I still think I got you beat for computers in weird places, though. Around here, no one's even heard of a computer. As for this site being a problem... that depends on how you look at it.

[dcrescendo]

You live in the boonies or something? Shit...

Can ya elaborate?

[material_guy]

Eh? No, Dublith ain't a major city, but it's not exactly a backwater dump... It's more like... well, that'll take a lot more time to explain so let's start simple.

This site might be the luckiest break you'll come across in prison, whether you're lookin' for a way out or some entertainment. Like I said, better or worse, you're in now, which means this community'll do its best to keep everyone on here doing something fun for you, even if it's just makin' it so they can't do anything else on their computer or device or whatever until they do somethin' here, or putting up some kinda private diary junk or a sneak video or something. But, that means it's your job to entertain everyone on here, too. That make any sense?

[dcrescendo]

Sure, man. Whatever you wanna do.

All right, I understand all this shit you're saying, but I still got a few questions: What do ya mean a "way out?" Physically? How the hell can a website do that? I've met some whacked people in my life, but you take it to a whole another level of crazy, man.

[material_guy]

A way out. Physically. Unless we're in the same time--and I kinda doubt we are if computers're common knowledge where you're at--I couldn't bust you out the old fashioned way if I wanted to, but there's a lotta people who could do it in a flash if you kiss up the right way. You'll still have to worry about what you're gonna do from there, but freedom's the first thing a guy needs to get anything else done, right?

[dcrescendo]

Same time? What? Well, whatever. So, you're saying the people on this community are that resourceful, huh? Freedom does sound pretty fucking nice right about now.

[material_guy]

Now we get to the not-so-simple part. Feel free to call bullshit on me, but I don't make a habit of telling lies. There're some people from the future and some people from the past and some people from different pasts and it's all one big cluster-fuck of what-the-fuck. But if you can accept the idea of something like an internet being somewhere it shouldn't be all mysterious like, that internet itself being a little mysterious ain't too much of a stretch, right?

[dcrescendo]

You gotta give me a minute to think about this, man. I can get that being suddenly connected to this community is a little weird, but man. That's a lot to take in, you know?

[material_guy]

The fact that yer actually thinkin' about it instead of telling me I'm full of shit says somethin' about you.

But enough about all that for now. Onto somethin' familiar. There's a lotta nice people around who might help you out for free, but a little return service'll make askin' for help getting out a lot easier. What're you good for?

[dcrescendo]

Normally I would, but hey. Desperate times call for desperate measures, am I right? Can't stand this pathetic shit hole.

Return service? Well. I don't got any money or anything on me, but if anyone requires the skills of a detective or a guitarist, then they can request whatever the hell they want.