counting stars wishing i was okay
So..i had a dream last night that i died. But instead of going to heaven i became a different person. Like i was still a seventeen yr. old girl but i looked different and no one knew me. Except i could remember everything from my last life. It was hella weird. It made me question a lot of things.
Anyway..the last few weeks i have been, as everyone else calls it, emo. I really don't know what the hell is going on with me but i just feel so freakin emotional and not wanting to do anything. Also, last night while i layed in my bed before i went to sleep i was thinking about so many things. One of them was, to be blunt *and not trying to get any sympathy or attention* going anorexic. Don't worry i'm not, cause 1. i think its physically impossible for me and 2. mm idk. lol but anyway, i just think Ian's comments really get to me sometimes.
But i am so ready for junior year to be over. I just wish i could fast forward and be at the 1st day of summer before our senior year. B/C senior year is seriously going to rock AND i will definitley be legal for most of senior year which is pretty cool.
so i am getting really annoyed with my brother living back here again. It sucks and he has no respect for either me or my mom. He has 3 boys spend the night last night with permission from my mom for only 2. They trashed the house. The house was pretty clean and stayed clean *with the exception of my room* when he wasn't here. It was nice..but now its back to what it used to be, and i hate his little immature white ass. GRR. This morning *the one morning when i could actually catch up on sleep i haven't really gotten in the last week* i hear the boys all screaming my name every 5 minutes so i open the door and i'm like stop calling my fuckin name you immature pricks! Well..when i open the door they had tied my doorknob to the bathroom doorknob with fishing wire. Okay..1. fishing wire is pretty stretchy..dumbasses..and 2. they are soooooooooooo immature..bleh so i went downstairs and yelled at them.
Um..what else..on the boy situation. hmm...no prospects..which is okay b/c most guys are assholes anyway. It's funny how like a lot of the friends i had at the beginning/middle of summer i am no longer friends with. It's crazy how that works. I've given up on me and a certain someone ever being friends again, i'm standing my ground (Mr. McNiel would be happy) and refusing to civily talk to him without an apology..so he can go fuck himself..oh wait..he has to be drunk to do that.
alright i'm done..
sorry if the ranting was too much
all the love thats left in me,
jen
PS: congratulations sarah for getting cast in the play!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALLORY IN 2 DAYS...yes we all do care about you even though we might not invite you everywhere...we do still love you...
oh i had one more....
THANK YOU TORI, MARYJANE, ALLY..sp?, ian..,JEN AND AMANDA FOR AN EXCELLENT WEEKEND.
i love you all
Anyway..the last few weeks i have been, as everyone else calls it, emo. I really don't know what the hell is going on with me but i just feel so freakin emotional and not wanting to do anything. Also, last night while i layed in my bed before i went to sleep i was thinking about so many things. One of them was, to be blunt *and not trying to get any sympathy or attention* going anorexic. Don't worry i'm not, cause 1. i think its physically impossible for me and 2. mm idk. lol but anyway, i just think Ian's comments really get to me sometimes.
But i am so ready for junior year to be over. I just wish i could fast forward and be at the 1st day of summer before our senior year. B/C senior year is seriously going to rock AND i will definitley be legal for most of senior year which is pretty cool.
so i am getting really annoyed with my brother living back here again. It sucks and he has no respect for either me or my mom. He has 3 boys spend the night last night with permission from my mom for only 2. They trashed the house. The house was pretty clean and stayed clean *with the exception of my room* when he wasn't here. It was nice..but now its back to what it used to be, and i hate his little immature white ass. GRR. This morning *the one morning when i could actually catch up on sleep i haven't really gotten in the last week* i hear the boys all screaming my name every 5 minutes so i open the door and i'm like stop calling my fuckin name you immature pricks! Well..when i open the door they had tied my doorknob to the bathroom doorknob with fishing wire. Okay..1. fishing wire is pretty stretchy..dumbasses..and 2. they are soooooooooooo immature..bleh so i went downstairs and yelled at them.
Um..what else..on the boy situation. hmm...no prospects..which is okay b/c most guys are assholes anyway. It's funny how like a lot of the friends i had at the beginning/middle of summer i am no longer friends with. It's crazy how that works. I've given up on me and a certain someone ever being friends again, i'm standing my ground (Mr. McNiel would be happy) and refusing to civily talk to him without an apology..so he can go fuck himself..oh wait..he has to be drunk to do that.
alright i'm done..
sorry if the ranting was too much
all the love thats left in me,
jen
PS: congratulations sarah for getting cast in the play!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALLORY IN 2 DAYS...yes we all do care about you even though we might not invite you everywhere...we do still love you...
oh i had one more....
THANK YOU TORI, MARYJANE, ALLY..sp?, ian..,JEN AND AMANDA FOR AN EXCELLENT WEEKEND.
i love you all