I'm glag this place is still standing....
I've missed lj, and I hope that I can return here...
I'm tired of the world, I'm tired of what it has become.
I wish, with all my being, that for once in my life that I could do no wrong...
I feel that I have wronged those in my life and they is no way to fix any of it....
I feel as though I am losing everything that I hold dear and near to omy heart and soul....
sexy if your reading this, I'm guessing you not because why would you waste youre time reading something that really has no meaning to the outside world, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you....can you at least forgive me a little and let down all the walls that you've painted with shades of grey...i need you to know that I love you, have loved you since that wonderful day in the rock quarry where you almost killed me with a rock...I will always love you...even if you forget who i am...
my friends that have forsaken my exsitants....i don't blaim you, i guess, for all the pain you've been putting me through....i guess in my own way i did bring it upon myself, although i've never been sure why this has occured....maybe, one day, later down the road in time, when you no longer remember me or why you've begun to hate my very being you can tell me why I have been cast out into the world with no one in particular to go to....i have always been there for you, i have never told your secrets to anyone and I will carry those to the grave, like i promised....
i hope, in some feeble state of mind that i can rejoice in the very thought of finding someone i can trust and spill all of my secrets to one day, but i guess so far that has not ment to be, just yet....soon, but i guess not yet...i am willing to put myself out on the line, if someone is willing to respond to me....that's all i ask, just to be there for me like i have been for you....
i need help....i guess, i don't really care about much anymore....not that it would matter to those currently around me anymore anyway...it just would be nice to know that all these years didn't just go to waste in the matter of a few months....
i've become so cynical about everything......it must be all my fault, it always is....