(no subject)
I've been doing a lot over at tumblr but i try to keep that more poetry related. I havent really done a brain dump.
there's a lot going on. I still hate my job...infact I think I hate it more and more each day-there are talks of extending our saturday ours, implementing sunday hours and making us all have "open availability" so they can change our shifts and days however they choose.
I have an interview on Friday for the Universal Healthcare Action Network of Ohio. The lovely Maranda works there and was recently promoted so she recommended that I throw in for her job. I am on it! So fingers crossed on Friday morning ya'll!
Ethan and I went to New Jersey for a show a couple weeks ago. It was such an amazing time. I finally got to see and swim in the ocean. I am now convinced that I must eventually move somewhere (like Longbranch, NJ) where the ocean is easily accessible! I have a full post w/ pics on my tumblr at sweetwhatsername.tumblr.com
I am crazy excited for Boston. I love my team. The team I was on last year, while an awesome experience (I can thank Scott Woods for drilling the guilt into me everytime I feel I've overused a poem to go and keep writing) I do feel this year like we are more of a team and less like 4 indie poets going to NPS together. That may also be due to the fact that its not my first rodeo this time and I feel a little more comfortable speaking up and giving notes about performance and chipping in my 2 cents. I am admittedly worried about our fundraising efforts though. I need to raise ALOT more money. There's a lot on my mind ala memorizing a group piece (I CO-WROTE MY VERY FIRST GROUP PIECE THIS YEAR!) and cleaning up existing poems on the sideboard and not wanting to let my team down in any way. I feel kind of bleh and weakest link that my entire sideboard isnt new this year but also recognize that it has been one hell of a busy year. I will not go into an IWPS grand slam or the WOWPS season without new poems though. I can keep tried and true poems in my pockets for a team slam but not an Indie event. Being on a team with Jason is a constant reminder to me just how shallow my pockets are but Ethan helps me keep it all in prospective with how long I haven't really been doing this and that as long as I keep working at it and writing I am not the phony I seem to feel like sometimes and Will is great for honesty and motivation.
I've been dating my boo for like 3 months now. Its weird I never would've expected him. I mean we've been friends for a while and I thought he was cute when I met him but the age difference bothered me. Some days it is very prevalent and other days he seems to have it more together than I do. Its a very different relationship than any I've ever pictured myself in aside from the hard and fast way he cares about me and makes sure I know it. He's helping me deal with and get over a lot of shit from the disaster that was my last train wreck of a "relationship"-there are wounds from that I was not entirely aware of until Austin and I got together and I see in practice how pessimistic I have become and how little I really trust. I am not "all better" but the fact that I have flipped out and panicked with him the way I have and he still sticks around is something I love about hi because that is new. The relationship is not always amazing...I know no one's is. He can have a weird sense of humor sometimes and I can be super sensitive sometimes which makes me upset because I am used to being tough and then we argue and get weird and emo and it can be really confusing. I have learned in this relationship though to speak the fuck up when something bothers me and not to just chalk it up to something I need to get over as is my habit because I don't want to rock the boat...currently I feel fine for tipping it over if I feel the moment calls for it. I'm not about settling.
Things seem for the most part to be pretty good right now and yet I am sort of washed over with this weird little residue of depression. Money is always an issue. I think I just defaulted on a student loan. There arent enough hours in the day. I feel zapped after work and am not writing as regularly as I would like. I may need to put a new goal into place for myself..I think I will start it sort of small like 1 decent draft of a poem per week. If I try to go above that right now there is a good chance of failure and disappointment etc and if I find I need to set the bar higher I will.
There is an upside. Spike, Dave Nichols, an our friend Alex and I are all planning to move in together in the fall to cut our costs down so we can afford more traveling and time for poetness. I am pretty excited about that.
there's a lot going on. I still hate my job...infact I think I hate it more and more each day-there are talks of extending our saturday ours, implementing sunday hours and making us all have "open availability" so they can change our shifts and days however they choose.
I have an interview on Friday for the Universal Healthcare Action Network of Ohio. The lovely Maranda works there and was recently promoted so she recommended that I throw in for her job. I am on it! So fingers crossed on Friday morning ya'll!
Ethan and I went to New Jersey for a show a couple weeks ago. It was such an amazing time. I finally got to see and swim in the ocean. I am now convinced that I must eventually move somewhere (like Longbranch, NJ) where the ocean is easily accessible! I have a full post w/ pics on my tumblr at sweetwhatsername.tumblr.com
I am crazy excited for Boston. I love my team. The team I was on last year, while an awesome experience (I can thank Scott Woods for drilling the guilt into me everytime I feel I've overused a poem to go and keep writing) I do feel this year like we are more of a team and less like 4 indie poets going to NPS together. That may also be due to the fact that its not my first rodeo this time and I feel a little more comfortable speaking up and giving notes about performance and chipping in my 2 cents. I am admittedly worried about our fundraising efforts though. I need to raise ALOT more money. There's a lot on my mind ala memorizing a group piece (I CO-WROTE MY VERY FIRST GROUP PIECE THIS YEAR!) and cleaning up existing poems on the sideboard and not wanting to let my team down in any way. I feel kind of bleh and weakest link that my entire sideboard isnt new this year but also recognize that it has been one hell of a busy year. I will not go into an IWPS grand slam or the WOWPS season without new poems though. I can keep tried and true poems in my pockets for a team slam but not an Indie event. Being on a team with Jason is a constant reminder to me just how shallow my pockets are but Ethan helps me keep it all in prospective with how long I haven't really been doing this and that as long as I keep working at it and writing I am not the phony I seem to feel like sometimes and Will is great for honesty and motivation.
I've been dating my boo for like 3 months now. Its weird I never would've expected him. I mean we've been friends for a while and I thought he was cute when I met him but the age difference bothered me. Some days it is very prevalent and other days he seems to have it more together than I do. Its a very different relationship than any I've ever pictured myself in aside from the hard and fast way he cares about me and makes sure I know it. He's helping me deal with and get over a lot of shit from the disaster that was my last train wreck of a "relationship"-there are wounds from that I was not entirely aware of until Austin and I got together and I see in practice how pessimistic I have become and how little I really trust. I am not "all better" but the fact that I have flipped out and panicked with him the way I have and he still sticks around is something I love about hi because that is new. The relationship is not always amazing...I know no one's is. He can have a weird sense of humor sometimes and I can be super sensitive sometimes which makes me upset because I am used to being tough and then we argue and get weird and emo and it can be really confusing. I have learned in this relationship though to speak the fuck up when something bothers me and not to just chalk it up to something I need to get over as is my habit because I don't want to rock the boat...currently I feel fine for tipping it over if I feel the moment calls for it. I'm not about settling.
Things seem for the most part to be pretty good right now and yet I am sort of washed over with this weird little residue of depression. Money is always an issue. I think I just defaulted on a student loan. There arent enough hours in the day. I feel zapped after work and am not writing as regularly as I would like. I may need to put a new goal into place for myself..I think I will start it sort of small like 1 decent draft of a poem per week. If I try to go above that right now there is a good chance of failure and disappointment etc and if I find I need to set the bar higher I will.
There is an upside. Spike, Dave Nichols, an our friend Alex and I are all planning to move in together in the fall to cut our costs down so we can afford more traveling and time for poetness. I am pretty excited about that.