I really enjoy Caroline in the City. I wish it was still on.
Today was, at times, very awkward and frustrating, but also really really good, so I suppose it balances out...
I spent the afternoon lounging around, including a trip to Target with Allison (resulting in the finding of Friends dvd's on sale for $20 and the purchase of season 3 holla!!!), followed by Friends-watching, more lounging, and napping. I then went to my aunt and uncle's house, ate some food, chilled by the pool, and had some good ol' family time.
Tonight was annoying because my friends are incapable of being spontaneous and planning an evening trip to the beach on a beautiful day/night like this turned out to be difficult and unsuccessful. But we kinda chilled a bit so it's all good.
After said chill time, I had a chat with my dear friend, Brittany, and I came to a realization that I was not expecting and certainly wasn't ready for. I think I need to cut back on the time that I spend with some people. And I hadn't ever thought about this until Brittany brought it up, but it's so true. It's just that I think I revert back to my old, high-school-self when I'm around them. Not that there's anything wrong with my high-school-self, I've just grown up in the last year. I've become a little less neurotic, and less obsessive about some things, and I've grown a ton spiritually. And these people just don't help bring me up at all. They certainly aren't bringing me down, but they're not helping me get anywhere. I don't want to cut these people out of my life completely, because I do still have fun with them, but I'm realizing that it's becoming a little harder to truly be myself around them. It took tonight to help me realize this, along with the fact that, not only do I have amazing people in other cities that want to help me stay accountable, but I have awesome people here who not only want to help me stay accountable, but who want me to help them stay accountable. I'm so blessed to have this kind of support system, and to know that other people are struggling with the exact same thing. And it's good because I sometimes feel like I'm falling away from what I was used to at school, that constant good, church-based environment, and I don't want that to happen. I miss that. But now I have a goal. I'm gonna try really hard to just be me. Not the silly, ditzy, awkward girl that I let myself be sometimes, but the smart, honest, confident, faithful (and, yeah, still a little awkward) girl that I know I am and that I want people to see me as. I'm done with putting on a front to fit in with my surroundings. I want people to know who I am and what I stand for. It's all me now, and if people don't like it... then I guess I don't need them in my life as much as I thought I did.
holla.
I spent the afternoon lounging around, including a trip to Target with Allison (resulting in the finding of Friends dvd's on sale for $20 and the purchase of season 3 holla!!!), followed by Friends-watching, more lounging, and napping. I then went to my aunt and uncle's house, ate some food, chilled by the pool, and had some good ol' family time.
Tonight was annoying because my friends are incapable of being spontaneous and planning an evening trip to the beach on a beautiful day/night like this turned out to be difficult and unsuccessful. But we kinda chilled a bit so it's all good.
After said chill time, I had a chat with my dear friend, Brittany, and I came to a realization that I was not expecting and certainly wasn't ready for. I think I need to cut back on the time that I spend with some people. And I hadn't ever thought about this until Brittany brought it up, but it's so true. It's just that I think I revert back to my old, high-school-self when I'm around them. Not that there's anything wrong with my high-school-self, I've just grown up in the last year. I've become a little less neurotic, and less obsessive about some things, and I've grown a ton spiritually. And these people just don't help bring me up at all. They certainly aren't bringing me down, but they're not helping me get anywhere. I don't want to cut these people out of my life completely, because I do still have fun with them, but I'm realizing that it's becoming a little harder to truly be myself around them. It took tonight to help me realize this, along with the fact that, not only do I have amazing people in other cities that want to help me stay accountable, but I have awesome people here who not only want to help me stay accountable, but who want me to help them stay accountable. I'm so blessed to have this kind of support system, and to know that other people are struggling with the exact same thing. And it's good because I sometimes feel like I'm falling away from what I was used to at school, that constant good, church-based environment, and I don't want that to happen. I miss that. But now I have a goal. I'm gonna try really hard to just be me. Not the silly, ditzy, awkward girl that I let myself be sometimes, but the smart, honest, confident, faithful (and, yeah, still a little awkward) girl that I know I am and that I want people to see me as. I'm done with putting on a front to fit in with my surroundings. I want people to know who I am and what I stand for. It's all me now, and if people don't like it... then I guess I don't need them in my life as much as I thought I did.
holla.