Hang me up to dry...
So Ive been pushing myself to get over you for a while now, Ive been expressing myself to myself, to no one, to everyone but you. Because, well, you didnt really give me the chance. And the artistic aproach isnt helping... so I'm going to tell you everything that I've been dying to say to you that has been festering in my mind and even if you never hear the words... at least I'll know that they are out there somewhere floating around in the cosmos breaking up little bits of energy and exisiting outside of my mind.
You will go down in my mind as one of the most cowardly people I have ever met. Which is unfortuante because I really liked you. I know, its not flowery language... I'm not comparing you to a king or anything but I did set you apart. You were so confident in your belief in honesty that I felt grossly betrayed when it became apparent that you were lying to me in silence and most importantly lying to yourself. I watched you closely, I watched how you responded to her... I knew you were hurt. But you did such a job of being dishonest that you even convinced me that that part of you was over. I hate you for all the things that I could never really hate you for. I can only hate you for leaving me with them. We had much in common, unless you made that up too. We had fun, you were interesting, you hooked me beyond my grasp of being hooked... I'm giving up Im telling you, you accomplished more than any that have tried. I was certain of you. And that is why I cant and can hate you in the same breath. It was painful to have to bear your silence...I've never felt so degraded and small and dismal from someone else's actions. I LET you in... but you didnt want that. You never told me what you wanted and I was left guessing. I hate you for not returning my affection by I hate myself more for not being brave enough to express my own. I'm furious at you for your immature pathetic self afraid of cinching something you knew you should... but I hate myself more for not being bold enough to act when I should have. And now I'm more scared than ever that you've damaged me further... that perhaps its unable to be changed. How dare you do this to me. How dare someone so cowardly, someone who had been so nice and wonderful, decieve me so? You've left me to be just a stupid stupid ugly scared little girl. And how is that fair when you are no better. I wish you whatever you want...may you figure out what that is before you're gone.
You will go down in my mind as one of the most cowardly people I have ever met. Which is unfortuante because I really liked you. I know, its not flowery language... I'm not comparing you to a king or anything but I did set you apart. You were so confident in your belief in honesty that I felt grossly betrayed when it became apparent that you were lying to me in silence and most importantly lying to yourself. I watched you closely, I watched how you responded to her... I knew you were hurt. But you did such a job of being dishonest that you even convinced me that that part of you was over. I hate you for all the things that I could never really hate you for. I can only hate you for leaving me with them. We had much in common, unless you made that up too. We had fun, you were interesting, you hooked me beyond my grasp of being hooked... I'm giving up Im telling you, you accomplished more than any that have tried. I was certain of you. And that is why I cant and can hate you in the same breath. It was painful to have to bear your silence...I've never felt so degraded and small and dismal from someone else's actions. I LET you in... but you didnt want that. You never told me what you wanted and I was left guessing. I hate you for not returning my affection by I hate myself more for not being brave enough to express my own. I'm furious at you for your immature pathetic self afraid of cinching something you knew you should... but I hate myself more for not being bold enough to act when I should have. And now I'm more scared than ever that you've damaged me further... that perhaps its unable to be changed. How dare you do this to me. How dare someone so cowardly, someone who had been so nice and wonderful, decieve me so? You've left me to be just a stupid stupid ugly scared little girl. And how is that fair when you are no better. I wish you whatever you want...may you figure out what that is before you're gone.