What is..?
There's a simple question I have asked myself for years now and I still don't have any answers.
"What is love?"
If you can not define it, how do you ever know if you have found it? What if what you always thought was love..wasn't? Or if you look all your life for something and it's right in front of you all along?
I always envisioned love being something spectacular, mind blowing, all consuming. A force in the universe that grabs you by the heart and balls and hurls you to places unknown every day and that hits you like a tidal wave. Something so strong you just KNOW it when you feel it.
After years of false feelings or just false starts to strong feelings...So many times I have fallen in love, but was it love? Was it need? Was it something else entirely? How do you know? Sex isn't love. Took too many years to figure that one out. And lust will rarely lead to love...so far as I have seen. I spent too much of my life being insecure ad feelign that sex was the only thing that defined me. That it was all I was good for and no one would ever find anything else about me to like or treasure. That opinion and outlook /has/ changed over the last year or so, I know better now. But what I don't know about myself and the world out there is still infinite and overwhelming at times.
My barometer was always that if I met someone..and the first thing I thought of in the morning was them...and the last thing before I went to bed was them..that would be love..all consuming and deep..
Maybe I have unrealistic expectations...or maybe in 31 years now I have just never truly felt it or met the right person?
Maybe I think too much and need to learn to just relax and stop assuming things are supposed to make sense and stop using my heart to guide me through life. Easier said than done.,..
"What is love?"
If you can not define it, how do you ever know if you have found it? What if what you always thought was love..wasn't? Or if you look all your life for something and it's right in front of you all along?
I always envisioned love being something spectacular, mind blowing, all consuming. A force in the universe that grabs you by the heart and balls and hurls you to places unknown every day and that hits you like a tidal wave. Something so strong you just KNOW it when you feel it.
After years of false feelings or just false starts to strong feelings...So many times I have fallen in love, but was it love? Was it need? Was it something else entirely? How do you know? Sex isn't love. Took too many years to figure that one out. And lust will rarely lead to love...so far as I have seen. I spent too much of my life being insecure ad feelign that sex was the only thing that defined me. That it was all I was good for and no one would ever find anything else about me to like or treasure. That opinion and outlook /has/ changed over the last year or so, I know better now. But what I don't know about myself and the world out there is still infinite and overwhelming at times.
My barometer was always that if I met someone..and the first thing I thought of in the morning was them...and the last thing before I went to bed was them..that would be love..all consuming and deep..
Maybe I have unrealistic expectations...or maybe in 31 years now I have just never truly felt it or met the right person?
Maybe I think too much and need to learn to just relax and stop assuming things are supposed to make sense and stop using my heart to guide me through life. Easier said than done.,..