miscellany
-I just had a thought. If I knew a girl who wanted to make one of those online 'zines for girls, I would suggest they call it: "Elle, oh Elle" Or maybe we could use it for a lesbian porno site or something.
-What really happens when I crack my knuckles? I want some answers here, hands!
- Why don't cans of pop freeze in vending machines in winter? I remember reading something about plans to put antifreeze in the actual pop to prevent freezing. Maybe I was reading something.....maybe it was nothing.
- Will an Inuit ever say "Hot enough for you?"
- What are behind all those closed doors at the airport. Every door's got to have something.
- Do aborted babies go to heaven or hell? What about miscarriages? I've had so many miscarriages, now I just laugh and flush the toilet.
- Why is Asia so far ahead of us in technology? When will I have a North American made toilet that spurts jets of water and plays Chopin's "The Entertainer"?
- One time in nursery school, I pushed a kid off the seesaw because I wanted it. I remember looking down at him as I made the guy on the other side start the seesaw in motion, and the kid on the ground was all bloody. I wonder where he is now.
- Speaking of which, there was this kid in my Kindergarten class who got run over by a parade float. Cameron-something. I know he didn't die, so I wonder where he is too.
- Will Canada ever learn that they cannot make good comedy shows? "This Hour Has 22 Minutes", "Royal Canadian Air Farce", "Red Green", "Trailer Park Boys", "Kevin Spencer", "Puppets Who Kill". I mean, fuck, the only show that made it out unscathed was "Kids in the hall"
- I really hate it when really shitty stuff becomes all the rage. It makes me want to blow up the world, but then how would I get home?
- For every single star, there is a single planetary system. I bet if you looked real hard you could see someone else looking real hard right back at you, and then you could give them the finger and run inside.
- Whether they find life on it or not, I believe Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet. One day a death ray is going to come out of that giant "swirling storm" bullshit, I swear to god.
-What really happens when I crack my knuckles? I want some answers here, hands!
- Why don't cans of pop freeze in vending machines in winter? I remember reading something about plans to put antifreeze in the actual pop to prevent freezing. Maybe I was reading something.....maybe it was nothing.
- Will an Inuit ever say "Hot enough for you?"
- What are behind all those closed doors at the airport. Every door's got to have something.
- Do aborted babies go to heaven or hell? What about miscarriages? I've had so many miscarriages, now I just laugh and flush the toilet.
- Why is Asia so far ahead of us in technology? When will I have a North American made toilet that spurts jets of water and plays Chopin's "The Entertainer"?
- One time in nursery school, I pushed a kid off the seesaw because I wanted it. I remember looking down at him as I made the guy on the other side start the seesaw in motion, and the kid on the ground was all bloody. I wonder where he is now.
- Speaking of which, there was this kid in my Kindergarten class who got run over by a parade float. Cameron-something. I know he didn't die, so I wonder where he is too.
- Will Canada ever learn that they cannot make good comedy shows? "This Hour Has 22 Minutes", "Royal Canadian Air Farce", "Red Green", "Trailer Park Boys", "Kevin Spencer", "Puppets Who Kill". I mean, fuck, the only show that made it out unscathed was "Kids in the hall"
- I really hate it when really shitty stuff becomes all the rage. It makes me want to blow up the world, but then how would I get home?
- For every single star, there is a single planetary system. I bet if you looked real hard you could see someone else looking real hard right back at you, and then you could give them the finger and run inside.
- Whether they find life on it or not, I believe Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet. One day a death ray is going to come out of that giant "swirling storm" bullshit, I swear to god.