O_O
Oh dear God,
I can not think of any better journal entry than this at the moment. I'm rereading some of my older things, and I feel like this entry should be a kind of FML entry. I remember giving myself this task for writing every single day... BUT IT'S BEEN A YEAR (and more at that) and sure didn't take me long to stop my very own challenge didn't it? I do remember keeping a list of topics for each day I started to miss, but as that list grew, so did the metaphorical mountain and tall mountains which aren't necessary for me to climb are often walked around...
Did that make sense?
I suppose I've never been one to write in a journal. I do have a diary here, somewhere, and I desperately need to find it. It has entries that I want no one to see. I'm pretty sure the only reason I can't find it is because I've hidden it somewhere and don't remember. I'm sure someone would've said something if they found it and read it. I shake my fist at them otherwise.
Really, I do bottle up inside yet I can't write down what I feel because for the most part, I can get over things quickly. So then I end up shaking my head at what I wrote and just, don't want to see it again. Maybe it's because I don't like the idea of people looking at what I usually hide. In my head I know that only what, one or two people may read my entries? Or no one for my actual journal. Still kinda bugs me. I bet subconsciously I want people to notice? But then wouldn't I write about it more? Isn't this healthier for me since I don't like to talk about my own problem unless it's to help someone else?
Alrighty, *shakes head* so I am disappointed in myself, mainly because I'm usually better at self imposed challenges. Jogging, exercises, painting... it's just writing. True, I do get bored. For instance my jogging has been lacking but I did keep it up for months... I do dislike hot hot weather jogging in my defense and I still go when the feeling's right... So other than Nanowrimo, I can't seem to focus as well. Sure I get bored easily but I like writing. I don't get it. Even now I should be finishing a letter than should've been been sent over two months ago. I owe my penpal a big apology. In fact, I will get to writing as soon as I post this and sign up for something a friend recommend I try out.
Hmm, I wonder will this make it for my 500 words challenge? Well, before I leave I do realize that I start out with high expectations of myself. Maybe it shouldn't be every day or maybe it should, but I do need to be more patient with myself. Mountains need to be climbed one step at a time. Steps always look tiny compared to mountains but they are conquered this way. If there's something I've learned between my last post and this one, it's that I need to accept myself and be patient with myself. It's a lot harder than it sounds, and I never really knew what accepting something meant or felt like until recently. There's a difference between acknowledging something and accepting it. I can't improve any area of my life by attacking and being frustrated with myself, otherwise my energy is not a 100% where it should be. So for now, let's just see what happens and get to moseying. Honestly, I do enjoy reading my posts from before so I'll keep trying.
Onward and upwards!
Words: 626/500
EXP: Lol...
I can not think of any better journal entry than this at the moment. I'm rereading some of my older things, and I feel like this entry should be a kind of FML entry. I remember giving myself this task for writing every single day... BUT IT'S BEEN A YEAR (and more at that) and sure didn't take me long to stop my very own challenge didn't it? I do remember keeping a list of topics for each day I started to miss, but as that list grew, so did the metaphorical mountain and tall mountains which aren't necessary for me to climb are often walked around...
Did that make sense?
I suppose I've never been one to write in a journal. I do have a diary here, somewhere, and I desperately need to find it. It has entries that I want no one to see. I'm pretty sure the only reason I can't find it is because I've hidden it somewhere and don't remember. I'm sure someone would've said something if they found it and read it. I shake my fist at them otherwise.
Really, I do bottle up inside yet I can't write down what I feel because for the most part, I can get over things quickly. So then I end up shaking my head at what I wrote and just, don't want to see it again. Maybe it's because I don't like the idea of people looking at what I usually hide. In my head I know that only what, one or two people may read my entries? Or no one for my actual journal. Still kinda bugs me. I bet subconsciously I want people to notice? But then wouldn't I write about it more? Isn't this healthier for me since I don't like to talk about my own problem unless it's to help someone else?
Alrighty, *shakes head* so I am disappointed in myself, mainly because I'm usually better at self imposed challenges. Jogging, exercises, painting... it's just writing. True, I do get bored. For instance my jogging has been lacking but I did keep it up for months... I do dislike hot hot weather jogging in my defense and I still go when the feeling's right... So other than Nanowrimo, I can't seem to focus as well. Sure I get bored easily but I like writing. I don't get it. Even now I should be finishing a letter than should've been been sent over two months ago. I owe my penpal a big apology. In fact, I will get to writing as soon as I post this and sign up for something a friend recommend I try out.
Hmm, I wonder will this make it for my 500 words challenge? Well, before I leave I do realize that I start out with high expectations of myself. Maybe it shouldn't be every day or maybe it should, but I do need to be more patient with myself. Mountains need to be climbed one step at a time. Steps always look tiny compared to mountains but they are conquered this way. If there's something I've learned between my last post and this one, it's that I need to accept myself and be patient with myself. It's a lot harder than it sounds, and I never really knew what accepting something meant or felt like until recently. There's a difference between acknowledging something and accepting it. I can't improve any area of my life by attacking and being frustrated with myself, otherwise my energy is not a 100% where it should be. So for now, let's just see what happens and get to moseying. Honestly, I do enjoy reading my posts from before so I'll keep trying.
Onward and upwards!
Words: 626/500
EXP: Lol...