Mar 05, 2005 14:53
I hate the feeling I have now... As if someone has came up to me, ripped my heart out and than spat on it.
Having this pain weld up inside of me is eating my soul. Tearing and ripping through my flesh.
Sorrow and pain... Two deadly toxics mixed up with my other emotions.Their a burn that will never go away. A scar that will always show. Wounds that can never heal. Or a cut that will always bleed.
Why can't I just let the pain go? Why is it still weld up inside me?
If I'm so open minded, why can't I just speak my feelings?
The pain is so immense that I take long deep breathes to regain my control.
Why do I feel this? What is the main conflict of my emotions?
Why do I always find myself up at night thinking about my feelings?
Am I that awkward? Why do I worry myself until it makes me break down and cry?
I can never stop this bad habit of mine. It's my drug and I'm addicted to it.
Letting myself cry is my only cure I have to stop the worrying and put it to a hault.
I hate the feelings I have locked up inside of myself. It's just way too hard for me to be open up to my feelings.
I'm a loner for emotional discussion.
I have no one I can trust or open up to for that.
Why am I like this? Why do I push away when it comes to my REAL feelings? Why am I so... So isolated? Is it because I'm afraid?
Do I LIKE having some sadness in my life? Why can't I just open up to my TRUE feelings?
I'm so much pain, it terrifies me....
Is this the signal for the feeling of guilt?