Closing Out 2016 - fic meme and final notes
Things I wrote in 2016
*Total Word Count Published: 247,448
Fandoms Written in: BTS, GOT7, EXO, Teen Wolf, Original fiction
Note: This is the last one of these I will do. Further explanation later.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
In truth, I didn’t go into this year really with a lot of high expectations. I wanted to, but my biggest goal this year was to live through it, not master a writing career. In terms of productivity, I actually surpassed my expectations from January in that I did get writing done, but in comparison to previous years and my typical output, I did not live up to expectations. However, I end this year satisfied with my overall progress and growth as a writer and as a person.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
I never thought in a million years that I would write anything for Teen Wolf. I didn’t even know what Teen Wolf was before the start of this year and, quite honestly, never planned on knowing about it. Then the Teen Wolf thing happened and here I am, seven months later, never shutting up about Teen Wolf and planning crack fic for it to write as a guilty pleasure next year.
What's your own favorite story of the year?
to thine own self be is honestly my favorite. I have to admit that the published story is actually only a segment of a much larger work, and that it is the larger expanded piece that I am desperately in love with. I am planning on completing the full piece next year as my final work and parting piece, discussing issues that I have always wanted to and playing with literary styles, devices, and structures that I’ve long wanted to perfect. The sampler to thine own self be reminds me of what I can do, what I want to do, and is a bit like a concentrated tease of the things that I am truly proud of.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I took a lot of writing risks this year. Not all of them were evident and many of them were things that I did to grow as a writer and were not meant to be viewed by a greater audience and called out. The biggest risk I took had to do with faith in my own original writing style, in taking a story and pushing the limits of it, in exploring my ability to involve my readers in the story and have them create alongside me. It taught me a great deal about story-structure, about having faith in myself, and about what I really want to do as a writer and creator. It taught me also to never give up, no matter my obstacle.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?
I do, though it is rather unconventional for a meme about fanfiction: I am retiring. My plan for the coming year is to complete moving my master list to Ao3 for all of my work, completing my major WIPS (A Piece of Hope; Feel the Breath, Half a Bubble Off Plumb) and completing my farewell piece (the full version of to thine own self). My largest goal is to publish my first two original novels and begin my career as a novelist. I have wanted to do this for a long time, and after nearly losing everything, I understand that I have nothing left to lose by trying, and everything to gain.
º º º
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year:
Half a Bubble Off Plumb. I know this piece isn’t completed, but of a lot of the work this year, it is the most comprehensive expanded work I have that began to move me in the direction I wanted this year. It is emotional, reflective, and unexpected, all things which I love and aspire to have in a story. It also deals with miscommunication and past trauma and personal growth, which I value far more than romance and bubble-gum reading material.
My most popular story of this year:
Tongue In Cheek. I’m just going to stare at all of you for that one. I hope you all appreciate the fact that I never explicitly said “Namjoon and Jimin had a long conversation about enemas” but knew that this was exactly what happened.
Most fun story to write:
A Real SNG Situation. I love this story so much, the whole AU, and everything that started it and are supposed to be continued with it. It’s crack, which I will forever be weak to, and it’s silly, which I forever love writing the most.
Story with the single sexiest moment:
Tongue In Cheek. It was consensual, supportive, communicated, discovery, and loving talk about how to have safe sex in a way that both people are equal and stereotypes are shattered. Super sexy.
Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:
Yuputka definitely hit people with this kind of idea. Anyone who knows me and I, myself, look at Yuputka and go “nope, this is exactly what you would write.” So, for people weirded out, surprise!
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
Honestly, I can’t actually expose the story here (I have my reasons) but I can explain my perception shift. It wasn’t until I wrote this piece that I felt like I understood Jimin as a character and realized that I actually love writing him. It also helped me understand why I have so struggled with reading him in fanfic and why I grappled with him in fandom. Writing this piece helped me explore him and I realized, by writing it, that it helped me fully expose and explore his character, which led to me being absolutely in love with writing him.
Hardest story to write:
Truthfully, every story this year has been hard for me to write. Writing this year has come at a great cost, primarily because my own situation and personal life has been in terrible condition. Writing of any kind was brutal, a struggle, and extremely frustrating. Out of all the pieces I did, Half a Bubble Off Plumb took the most out of me, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and it is one of the reasons it is not yet complete. I wrote it at a very rough time and am still not recovered enough to complete it. Soon, though, I shall.
Biggest surprise:
Thanks for Calling. Who knew I would write Teen Wolf and Got7? Not me, that’s for sure! I had a lot of fun though.
Most unintentionally telling story:
Man’s Best Friend. Deep down inside, I’m a very picky dog person who only wants a shiba inu. Now you all know my secret.
º º º
Favorite Opening Lines:
Get a dog, they said. It'll be great, they said. Dogs are wonderful, they said. You can handle it, they said.
'They' had never met a dog like Namjoon. (Man’s Best Friend)
Favorite Closing Lines:
A feeling never needs to be complete to be significant, a memory never needs a beginning nor an end, and there is nothing that can ever truly complete a human life.
There is only the notion that there should be, just as there is this notion that closure is to be sought after in an existence where change is the only rule that reigns supreme.
It’s wrong. It’s the conversations that hang, with the faint whisper of more, incomplete and exciting, that Taehyung thrives on, knowing that soon there will be more. Knowing that it’ll be just as easy to fall into a moment of comprehension that makes no sense to anyone but himself and Namjoon with the soft knowing smiles and warm eyes that catch in the earliest rays of sun in the space between worlds and nonexistent suspension, that embodiment of everything is what makes Taehyung.
It’s what makes Namjoon.
It’s what makes everyone what they are.
Human. (Being Human)
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
There's something romantic about Jimin helping him get ready for this whole thing. There’s something sweet about Jimin asking him very casually “do you need to poop?” when he shows up a few days later after their first talk (where they hadn't fucked, Namjoon had just let jimin bring them both off with his hands before cuddling). (Tongue in Cheek)
“Who is that?” Someone is pulling on the hand Seokjin is using to plug his ear, and he scowls, pulling away.
“I’m on an important business call,” Seokjin says sternly.
“I wasn’t aware we were professionally engaged,” Donghyuk snorts over the line. It sounds like he’s speaking through angry tin foil. Or aluminum foil.
Wait.
“Hey, is that my phone?”
“It’s your turn to sing,” says the person trying to take Seokjin’s hands away from him, which is rude. They’re his hands, his birth right appendages and important to him. “Go before Hyosang can start trying to put on Nicki Minaj. We both know he doesn’t have the range for Super Bass.”
“Super Bass is my song,” Hoseok shouts directly into Seokjin’s ear and deafens him forever.
“Stop, you can’t have my hands,” Seokjin yells, leaning sideways on the couch and trying to use his dead drunk weight to his advantage. “They won’t come off if you pull on them, I’ve tried.”
“Jesus, how much have you had to drink?”
“I’m not Jesus,” Seokjin corrects, and finds his hands have been given freedom. He keeps them up, limp in front of him, ready for action, just in case. (Half a Bubble Off Plumb)
Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:
- Jimin and Taehyung waking up in that hotel room in Vegas. (Waking Up in Vegas)
- Yoongi and his daughter snuggled together asleep in Space. (N A V A E H)
New year's resolutions:
- To have all of my scheduled WIPS complete (the big 4 I listed earlier). To write PP. To complete posting all of my work on AO3 for easy access and management.
º º º
Word Count Totals:
total finished, posted fic: 140,657 words; 21 stories
longest posted fic: (unable to discuss) 50+ words
total number of words written: 355,940 words
longest wip: Feel the Breath (Right Down to Your Toes) (Namjoon/Jimin Yoga story + chronic illness) 95,000+ words in total
* The "Total Word Count Published” addresses the amount of work that I completed for both fanfiction and original fiction, as well as editing and completing collaborative work the has been long overdue.
[Final Notes]”The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Indeed, the time - or my time - has come.
While I know for some, they may view this as a bad thing, I consider it an expression of gratitude and transformation. I have had an amazing run, writing and enjoying my time in fandom for close to a decade. For me, fandom has been an amazing experience, where I have met the most wonderful people and enjoyed some of the most meaningful friendships I couldn’t have imagined before becoming a part of this amazing community. I have learned so much, experienced both the spectacular and the terrible, and grown as an individual and an author.
In the last few years, there have been many points when I realized I needed to leave fandom - the community and the mass hysteria, not the people. The people who I have met here, the friends I have made, I could never dream of abandoning. However, it has been brought to my attention in the last year that in my own personal case, it is time for me to let go. Fandom has been a chapter of my life and it is time to close it. I do so with fond memories, love from the bountiful beautiful people who have made it such a bright point in my life even in the darkest of times, and with gratitude.
In my departure, I am leaving all of my stories. Some of them will not be completed, and are marked appropriately. Any that are still in the process of updating will be completed. I will not be replying to comments or communicating, but by all means continue to enjoy and peruse my work and enjoy it, as was the intent in writing it. I ask that you do not repost or distribute my stories; as I will not be removing them, there is no need.
All of the plots, stylistic developments, and material is mine - the only thing that is not are the character names, and to lift or ‘draw close influence’ from my material is plagiarism. For your own sake and progress as an author, please do not do this. Copying me is disrespectful and will not actually improve your skills as a writer. Be yourself, write for yourself and grow in a way that is loving and honest with who you are and how you write.
I want to be explicitly clear that I am not leaving fandom because of bullying, aggressive behavior, or abuse. I am extremely aware that this behavior exists and have experienced it myself. It saddens me that such a vibrant community with such spectacular people has such a dark element to it that drives good people away and is so self-destructive, but this is not why I am leaving. I leave with gratitude in my heart, fondness in my soul, and holding no resentment, fear, or bitterness. I love fandom for what it has offered me, am grateful for the people I have met and the friendships I have made, and am happy to have learned so much and found such joy.
I leave because it is what is best for me, because it is my time, and because, in truth, it is only the person, not the stories, that is leaving you.
From this point on, Lonio stays here, in final resting silence, and I move on.
It has been an amazing ride, and I cannot imagine myself without it. With gratitude I leave you, with love I depart, and ever expectant of the adventures ahead of us, I step into the present future and hope to see you again in another chapter of this lifetime.
Fond regards,
- L
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
*Total Word Count Published: 247,448
Fandoms Written in: BTS, GOT7, EXO, Teen Wolf, Original fiction
Note: This is the last one of these I will do. Further explanation later.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
In truth, I didn’t go into this year really with a lot of high expectations. I wanted to, but my biggest goal this year was to live through it, not master a writing career. In terms of productivity, I actually surpassed my expectations from January in that I did get writing done, but in comparison to previous years and my typical output, I did not live up to expectations. However, I end this year satisfied with my overall progress and growth as a writer and as a person.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
I never thought in a million years that I would write anything for Teen Wolf. I didn’t even know what Teen Wolf was before the start of this year and, quite honestly, never planned on knowing about it. Then the Teen Wolf thing happened and here I am, seven months later, never shutting up about Teen Wolf and planning crack fic for it to write as a guilty pleasure next year.
What's your own favorite story of the year?
to thine own self be is honestly my favorite. I have to admit that the published story is actually only a segment of a much larger work, and that it is the larger expanded piece that I am desperately in love with. I am planning on completing the full piece next year as my final work and parting piece, discussing issues that I have always wanted to and playing with literary styles, devices, and structures that I’ve long wanted to perfect. The sampler to thine own self be reminds me of what I can do, what I want to do, and is a bit like a concentrated tease of the things that I am truly proud of.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I took a lot of writing risks this year. Not all of them were evident and many of them were things that I did to grow as a writer and were not meant to be viewed by a greater audience and called out. The biggest risk I took had to do with faith in my own original writing style, in taking a story and pushing the limits of it, in exploring my ability to involve my readers in the story and have them create alongside me. It taught me a great deal about story-structure, about having faith in myself, and about what I really want to do as a writer and creator. It taught me also to never give up, no matter my obstacle.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?
I do, though it is rather unconventional for a meme about fanfiction: I am retiring. My plan for the coming year is to complete moving my master list to Ao3 for all of my work, completing my major WIPS (A Piece of Hope; Feel the Breath, Half a Bubble Off Plumb) and completing my farewell piece (the full version of to thine own self). My largest goal is to publish my first two original novels and begin my career as a novelist. I have wanted to do this for a long time, and after nearly losing everything, I understand that I have nothing left to lose by trying, and everything to gain.
º º º
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year:
Half a Bubble Off Plumb. I know this piece isn’t completed, but of a lot of the work this year, it is the most comprehensive expanded work I have that began to move me in the direction I wanted this year. It is emotional, reflective, and unexpected, all things which I love and aspire to have in a story. It also deals with miscommunication and past trauma and personal growth, which I value far more than romance and bubble-gum reading material.
My most popular story of this year:
Tongue In Cheek. I’m just going to stare at all of you for that one. I hope you all appreciate the fact that I never explicitly said “Namjoon and Jimin had a long conversation about enemas” but knew that this was exactly what happened.
Most fun story to write:
A Real SNG Situation. I love this story so much, the whole AU, and everything that started it and are supposed to be continued with it. It’s crack, which I will forever be weak to, and it’s silly, which I forever love writing the most.
Story with the single sexiest moment:
Tongue In Cheek. It was consensual, supportive, communicated, discovery, and loving talk about how to have safe sex in a way that both people are equal and stereotypes are shattered. Super sexy.
Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:
Yuputka definitely hit people with this kind of idea. Anyone who knows me and I, myself, look at Yuputka and go “nope, this is exactly what you would write.” So, for people weirded out, surprise!
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
Honestly, I can’t actually expose the story here (I have my reasons) but I can explain my perception shift. It wasn’t until I wrote this piece that I felt like I understood Jimin as a character and realized that I actually love writing him. It also helped me understand why I have so struggled with reading him in fanfic and why I grappled with him in fandom. Writing this piece helped me explore him and I realized, by writing it, that it helped me fully expose and explore his character, which led to me being absolutely in love with writing him.
Hardest story to write:
Truthfully, every story this year has been hard for me to write. Writing this year has come at a great cost, primarily because my own situation and personal life has been in terrible condition. Writing of any kind was brutal, a struggle, and extremely frustrating. Out of all the pieces I did, Half a Bubble Off Plumb took the most out of me, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and it is one of the reasons it is not yet complete. I wrote it at a very rough time and am still not recovered enough to complete it. Soon, though, I shall.
Biggest surprise:
Thanks for Calling. Who knew I would write Teen Wolf and Got7? Not me, that’s for sure! I had a lot of fun though.
Most unintentionally telling story:
Man’s Best Friend. Deep down inside, I’m a very picky dog person who only wants a shiba inu. Now you all know my secret.
º º º
Favorite Opening Lines:
Get a dog, they said. It'll be great, they said. Dogs are wonderful, they said. You can handle it, they said.
'They' had never met a dog like Namjoon. (Man’s Best Friend)
Favorite Closing Lines:
A feeling never needs to be complete to be significant, a memory never needs a beginning nor an end, and there is nothing that can ever truly complete a human life.
There is only the notion that there should be, just as there is this notion that closure is to be sought after in an existence where change is the only rule that reigns supreme.
It’s wrong. It’s the conversations that hang, with the faint whisper of more, incomplete and exciting, that Taehyung thrives on, knowing that soon there will be more. Knowing that it’ll be just as easy to fall into a moment of comprehension that makes no sense to anyone but himself and Namjoon with the soft knowing smiles and warm eyes that catch in the earliest rays of sun in the space between worlds and nonexistent suspension, that embodiment of everything is what makes Taehyung.
It’s what makes Namjoon.
It’s what makes everyone what they are.
Human. (Being Human)
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
There's something romantic about Jimin helping him get ready for this whole thing. There’s something sweet about Jimin asking him very casually “do you need to poop?” when he shows up a few days later after their first talk (where they hadn't fucked, Namjoon had just let jimin bring them both off with his hands before cuddling). (Tongue in Cheek)
“Who is that?” Someone is pulling on the hand Seokjin is using to plug his ear, and he scowls, pulling away.
“I’m on an important business call,” Seokjin says sternly.
“I wasn’t aware we were professionally engaged,” Donghyuk snorts over the line. It sounds like he’s speaking through angry tin foil. Or aluminum foil.
Wait.
“Hey, is that my phone?”
“It’s your turn to sing,” says the person trying to take Seokjin’s hands away from him, which is rude. They’re his hands, his birth right appendages and important to him. “Go before Hyosang can start trying to put on Nicki Minaj. We both know he doesn’t have the range for Super Bass.”
“Super Bass is my song,” Hoseok shouts directly into Seokjin’s ear and deafens him forever.
“Stop, you can’t have my hands,” Seokjin yells, leaning sideways on the couch and trying to use his dead drunk weight to his advantage. “They won’t come off if you pull on them, I’ve tried.”
“Jesus, how much have you had to drink?”
“I’m not Jesus,” Seokjin corrects, and finds his hands have been given freedom. He keeps them up, limp in front of him, ready for action, just in case. (Half a Bubble Off Plumb)
Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:
- Jimin and Taehyung waking up in that hotel room in Vegas. (Waking Up in Vegas)
- Yoongi and his daughter snuggled together asleep in Space. (N A V A E H)
New year's resolutions:
- To have all of my scheduled WIPS complete (the big 4 I listed earlier). To write PP. To complete posting all of my work on AO3 for easy access and management.
º º º
Word Count Totals:
total finished, posted fic: 140,657 words; 21 stories
longest posted fic: (unable to discuss) 50+ words
total number of words written: 355,940 words
longest wip: Feel the Breath (Right Down to Your Toes) (Namjoon/Jimin Yoga story + chronic illness) 95,000+ words in total
* The "Total Word Count Published” addresses the amount of work that I completed for both fanfiction and original fiction, as well as editing and completing collaborative work the has been long overdue.
[Final Notes]”The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Indeed, the time - or my time - has come.
While I know for some, they may view this as a bad thing, I consider it an expression of gratitude and transformation. I have had an amazing run, writing and enjoying my time in fandom for close to a decade. For me, fandom has been an amazing experience, where I have met the most wonderful people and enjoyed some of the most meaningful friendships I couldn’t have imagined before becoming a part of this amazing community. I have learned so much, experienced both the spectacular and the terrible, and grown as an individual and an author.
In the last few years, there have been many points when I realized I needed to leave fandom - the community and the mass hysteria, not the people. The people who I have met here, the friends I have made, I could never dream of abandoning. However, it has been brought to my attention in the last year that in my own personal case, it is time for me to let go. Fandom has been a chapter of my life and it is time to close it. I do so with fond memories, love from the bountiful beautiful people who have made it such a bright point in my life even in the darkest of times, and with gratitude.
In my departure, I am leaving all of my stories. Some of them will not be completed, and are marked appropriately. Any that are still in the process of updating will be completed. I will not be replying to comments or communicating, but by all means continue to enjoy and peruse my work and enjoy it, as was the intent in writing it. I ask that you do not repost or distribute my stories; as I will not be removing them, there is no need.
All of the plots, stylistic developments, and material is mine - the only thing that is not are the character names, and to lift or ‘draw close influence’ from my material is plagiarism. For your own sake and progress as an author, please do not do this. Copying me is disrespectful and will not actually improve your skills as a writer. Be yourself, write for yourself and grow in a way that is loving and honest with who you are and how you write.
I want to be explicitly clear that I am not leaving fandom because of bullying, aggressive behavior, or abuse. I am extremely aware that this behavior exists and have experienced it myself. It saddens me that such a vibrant community with such spectacular people has such a dark element to it that drives good people away and is so self-destructive, but this is not why I am leaving. I leave with gratitude in my heart, fondness in my soul, and holding no resentment, fear, or bitterness. I love fandom for what it has offered me, am grateful for the people I have met and the friendships I have made, and am happy to have learned so much and found such joy.
I leave because it is what is best for me, because it is my time, and because, in truth, it is only the person, not the stories, that is leaving you.
From this point on, Lonio stays here, in final resting silence, and I move on.
It has been an amazing ride, and I cannot imagine myself without it. With gratitude I leave you, with love I depart, and ever expectant of the adventures ahead of us, I step into the present future and hope to see you again in another chapter of this lifetime.
Fond regards,
- L
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince