why is the only question.

[drain_my_heart]

what am i doing? it's 7:30 in the morning and i'm awake, a day that i'm supposed to be taking a break from school and everything just relaxing, and i can't. i can't sleep. your the only think i think about when i go to sleep and your the only think i think about when i wake up and through out the day. my face looks horrible, i'm breaking out every where, im pale, i have huge bags under my eyes.. why am i doing this to myself? what the hell is goin on? usuallly shit like this isn't so hard for me to deal with but this hit me harder than id ever expect. specially this morning waking up next to someone that wasn't michael, turning over and wanting to be held and stopping myself because it wasn't you. seriously, that's hard. i wish it was easier. i wish i could talk to him but i dont even know what i'd say. this just hurts too much.. it really really does... what am i supposed to do? why can't you just realize?

It breaks my heart to see her cry
That's how I left her when I said good bye
I never meant to be so cruel
How could I have been such a fool
I got scared when love drew close
Turns out her love is what i'm needing most
Instead I'm back out on my own
Wishing I could go back home

when you tell me that, what am i suppposed to do?
& the funny thing is.. i know your thinking about it,
so why cant we jus try ... ??? seriously..